It's been another very quiet week and I am reading, reading, reading - no idea how many books I have gone through since the beginning of this month! Lots of time on the couch - still not a lot of energy. However, I passed the 2-week mark on Friday from my last chemo and did not have to have more chemicals put in my body, so perhaps there will be an improvement this week.
Thursday, Jan. 15, I was supposed to have a treatment of the trial drug, Avastin, that would switch me over to a 3-week cycle. However, my blood pressure numbers for several days that week were too high and it was postponed to Jan.22. My b.p. meds have been doubled since Dec. 24 but the Avastin restricts the development of new blood vessels (would starve a newly-developing tumour) and must have some constrictive action on blood vessels too. I saw my doctor and came away with an additional b.p. med.! I am keeping track again and have to relay my numbers to Windsor on Wed. and that will determine if I get the treatment on Thursday or not.
Tomorrow, we start our daily trips to Windsor for my radiation course of treatments. These will continue every weekday until March 2. This is quite different from the chemo - just 15 min. It's more like a daily x-ray. I should have a couple of weeks of continued recovery time from the chemo while I start but then I have been told to expect to be the most tired the two weeks after I finish in March. Fortunately by then, there will be more sunshine and daylight and winter will be more or less over.
Thank you, again, to those of you who have been praying for David and I after my last post. We have regained our equilibrium and are doing OK. I had to realize again that the doctor (radiologist) has to advise you of all possible outcomes of the new treatment you are beginning, no matter how small the chance is that it might happen to you. At my oncologist appointment on Thursday, I talked about my reactions and both the nurse and the doctor spoke about the way people feel when they finish chemo - no specific action left to be taken 'against the foe' - apparently I am right on track to be anxious, especially as a 'goal-oriented person'. But my doctor said,"You have done everything you were supposed to do - you have finished the course - it is gone." So - I was encouraged, and enlightened.
To those of you who do not live in this area - we are having a 'real winter' this year - received 20cm./8" MORE snow on Saturday and could not leave our house until our faithful farmer neighbour ploughed out our laneway. This makes the 5th time this season that he has had to do this - before Christmas, it was 3 times in one week. Those of you who live farther north may laugh at that 'little bit of snow' but it is a lot for us ! Everything is well blanketed with snow and on a sunny day it is quite pretty.
And, lastly, in another week, my hair should start growing back in !!! I have a good crop of stubble but it should start to grow seriously 3 weeks after the last chemo, which was Jan. 2.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Update - Friday, Jan. 9, 2009
It's been an unusual and difficult week; I haven't been able to write about it until today, for several reasons.
On Monday, we went to Windsor to meet my radiologist and start the process for my radiation treatments. In the course of the explanation of what I would be having, the phrase 'high risk of return' was used and it somehow caught both David and I off guard and threw us 'for a loop'. It's not news - we knew I had several factors that weren't good - but I guess that I had been doing so well through the chemo that we had not thought about it for a while. I will have 25 regular radiation treatments, starting Jan. 20 (trial run Jan. 19), followed by 4 booster treatments on my chest wall, because the surgeon was only able to get a clear margin of 2 mm. instead of 2 cm. So that was one of the upsetting details to think about again this week. (I should be finished about the end of February.)
Then, I was just really affected by the chemo this time and spent a good deal of the week horizontal, on the couch or on my bed. It hasn't hit me like this since the first time in September. My fingers are numb/tingly on all the last joints - hard to put in my earrings or do up buttons - and my toes are too tender to wear my boots. I hobble slowly, like a little old lady. Small things, I agree, when compared to what else I might be dealing with, but discouraging and also upsetting this week. I'm not a good 'sick person'. Last evening and today I am finally feeling more energetic and less sore and my taste buds are coming back to normal - so I am happier and feeling more positive.
So - I had to choose again to have faith in the promises I feel God gave me at the beginning of all of this, that I would survive due to His care and the care of others, and look away from the pit at my feet to the light at the end of this journey - and practise saying again, "Thy will be done in my life/on earth, as it is in Heaven." It took a couple of days to get there, which is why I couldn't write earlier. But here I stand - thanks again for your prayers.
"Even when walking through the dark valley (shadowed by) death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way." Psalm 23.4
On Monday, we went to Windsor to meet my radiologist and start the process for my radiation treatments. In the course of the explanation of what I would be having, the phrase 'high risk of return' was used and it somehow caught both David and I off guard and threw us 'for a loop'. It's not news - we knew I had several factors that weren't good - but I guess that I had been doing so well through the chemo that we had not thought about it for a while. I will have 25 regular radiation treatments, starting Jan. 20 (trial run Jan. 19), followed by 4 booster treatments on my chest wall, because the surgeon was only able to get a clear margin of 2 mm. instead of 2 cm. So that was one of the upsetting details to think about again this week. (I should be finished about the end of February.)
Then, I was just really affected by the chemo this time and spent a good deal of the week horizontal, on the couch or on my bed. It hasn't hit me like this since the first time in September. My fingers are numb/tingly on all the last joints - hard to put in my earrings or do up buttons - and my toes are too tender to wear my boots. I hobble slowly, like a little old lady. Small things, I agree, when compared to what else I might be dealing with, but discouraging and also upsetting this week. I'm not a good 'sick person'. Last evening and today I am finally feeling more energetic and less sore and my taste buds are coming back to normal - so I am happier and feeling more positive.
So - I had to choose again to have faith in the promises I feel God gave me at the beginning of all of this, that I would survive due to His care and the care of others, and look away from the pit at my feet to the light at the end of this journey - and practise saying again, "Thy will be done in my life/on earth, as it is in Heaven." It took a couple of days to get there, which is why I couldn't write earlier. But here I stand - thanks again for your prayers.
"Even when walking through the dark valley (shadowed by) death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way." Psalm 23.4
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Jan 2, 2009 - Last Chemo Trip!
We had just returned from Kitchener the day before but we made it up by 5:30 or so and were in Windsor in the lab just after 8:00 a.m. There was a line-up - something I hadn't seen before. We were processed about 8:30 and upstairs waiting to see the doctor before 9:00 a.m. I didn't see my own doctor as she was taking a holiday, but was able to have my check-up shortly after 9:00, got my meds from the pharmacy and was called in to the chemo suite by 10:00 a.m. (My blood pressure numbers were fine all day, so we are wondering if the device I was using at home was accurate.) It was looking pretty good for an early day until they tried to get my port open...three hours later, it cleared. It was frustrating, since this had happened two cycles back as well. There is a protein build-up inside the vein and it has to be cleared out before they will administer the chemo drugs. They certainly don't want them going into the wrong location inside of me. So, the end result was that I closed the place down at 6:00 p.m. and two nurses had to wait with me to finish the procedure. A long, frustrating day - but the last one ! I will still have to go to get the experimental drug chemo until Sept. but that's only 30 min. so even if I have this port problem again it won't take so long. We left Chatham at 7:00 a.m. to be in Windsor for 8:00 a.m. and we left Windsor at 7:00 p.m. (stopped for supper) to be home for 8:00 p.m. Long day.
I return to Windsor Monday afternoon to meet my radiologist and get set up for my treatments for that - marking the location, etc. I should also be getting my schedule, so I will know when this starts and time of day, etc. That will give shape to the next two months, as I will go daily to Windsor, Monday to Friday, for 6.5 weeks. The actual treatment time isn't long, apparently, but it has to be done daily. On Jan. 15, I also get my Avastin chemo but will switch to a three-week cycle for it then. A couple of days, I will have both chemo and radiation, I guess. Then there will also be some tests again - a heart video and possibly another CT scan. I am well monitored.
And, last but not least, my hair should start growing back about the third week in January - it's already kind of growing and looks like stubble, so I'm optimistic. I imagine by Easter I will have enough to stop using my wig, or possibly sooner.
Thanks again for your prayers and your ongoing support. I wish each of you a Happy/Blessed New Year for 2009 !
I return to Windsor Monday afternoon to meet my radiologist and get set up for my treatments for that - marking the location, etc. I should also be getting my schedule, so I will know when this starts and time of day, etc. That will give shape to the next two months, as I will go daily to Windsor, Monday to Friday, for 6.5 weeks. The actual treatment time isn't long, apparently, but it has to be done daily. On Jan. 15, I also get my Avastin chemo but will switch to a three-week cycle for it then. A couple of days, I will have both chemo and radiation, I guess. Then there will also be some tests again - a heart video and possibly another CT scan. I am well monitored.
And, last but not least, my hair should start growing back about the third week in January - it's already kind of growing and looks like stubble, so I'm optimistic. I imagine by Easter I will have enough to stop using my wig, or possibly sooner.
Thanks again for your prayers and your ongoing support. I wish each of you a Happy/Blessed New Year for 2009 !
Christmas 2008
Well, we had a great time, in spite of several airline mix-ups. First to arrive was my daughter from Kitchener, who came Saturday, Dec. 19 ahead of another snowstorm and two days before she had planned to come. Next, son from Seattle and lovely girlfriend, who had an unplanned overnight in Las Vegas but made it for a lasagna supper Tuesday, Dec. 23. On Dec. 24, we had a lovely evening with some of our oldest and dearest friends after the Candlelight Service at church. The phone rang while we were all munching and talking with the best news - the Texas crew were going to be able to make it after all ! Plans had changed at their end and they had tickets to fly up Christmas Day afternoon ! We were all pretty excited ! Their original plan was to overnight in Detroit and arrive early Boxing Day; actual outcome was an overnight in Chicago and arrival in time for Christmas dinner late on Boxing Day. Christmas Day evening saw the arrival of our youngest son from Kitchener and his lovely girlfriend. My sister also drove down from Ottawa on Boxing Day. So, by Boxing Day evening, we were all under the same roof, enjoying Christmas dinner at a very extended table! I was able to cook that dinner and it gave me huge satisfaction to be able to do so.
The next day, the men took over the kitchen and David cooked a wonderful French meal - fois gras, cassoulet, roast duck and crème brulée ! The ladies retreated to the hotel where most of the people were staying and had a relaxed lunch and some shopping. I went for a brief walk with my Texas grandson and helped him make and throw some snowballs - a first for him! Quite a day !
But then we got to the sad part, where people had to leave. Our Seattle son and girlfriend had to leave Sunday, Dec. 28 - had another unexpected overnight as part of their return trip and a late departure on this trip too. Our Kitchener son and girlfriend returned Monday and my sister left Tuesday morning to drive back to Ottawa. Fortunately, she had good weather both trips. The rest of us packed up Tuesday also and went to Kitchener for New Year's so we were able to have a couple more days together. We were treated to a wonderful Asian dinner at a restaurant Tuesday evening, where David presented me with a beautiful necklace , to celebrate the successful end of my chemo. Then we had twelve people at my daughter's house New Year's Eve, enjoying an amazing Laotian/Thai dinner prepared by my son's lovely girlfriend and her sister.
New Year's Day was the wrap-up - we had breakfast together and then had to leave. The Texas crew drove back to Detroit to prepare for a 7:00 a.m. flight the next day - a baby and a toddler and all the attendant baggage; they made it, too ! David and I returned home later in the afternoon and called it a day.
So, all in all, it was a wonderful time, especially because we were all together for a couple of days, because I got in lots of grandma time that I wasn't expecting and because all of our children and my lovely daughter-in-law and their great girlfriends did so much to just make it happen. I thank you all for your time in airports, time in the kitchen, time doing odd jobs around the house, time just being here. It was the best gift of all.
The next day, the men took over the kitchen and David cooked a wonderful French meal - fois gras, cassoulet, roast duck and crème brulée ! The ladies retreated to the hotel where most of the people were staying and had a relaxed lunch and some shopping. I went for a brief walk with my Texas grandson and helped him make and throw some snowballs - a first for him! Quite a day !
But then we got to the sad part, where people had to leave. Our Seattle son and girlfriend had to leave Sunday, Dec. 28 - had another unexpected overnight as part of their return trip and a late departure on this trip too. Our Kitchener son and girlfriend returned Monday and my sister left Tuesday morning to drive back to Ottawa. Fortunately, she had good weather both trips. The rest of us packed up Tuesday also and went to Kitchener for New Year's so we were able to have a couple more days together. We were treated to a wonderful Asian dinner at a restaurant Tuesday evening, where David presented me with a beautiful necklace , to celebrate the successful end of my chemo. Then we had twelve people at my daughter's house New Year's Eve, enjoying an amazing Laotian/Thai dinner prepared by my son's lovely girlfriend and her sister.
New Year's Day was the wrap-up - we had breakfast together and then had to leave. The Texas crew drove back to Detroit to prepare for a 7:00 a.m. flight the next day - a baby and a toddler and all the attendant baggage; they made it, too ! David and I returned home later in the afternoon and called it a day.
So, all in all, it was a wonderful time, especially because we were all together for a couple of days, because I got in lots of grandma time that I wasn't expecting and because all of our children and my lovely daughter-in-law and their great girlfriends did so much to just make it happen. I thank you all for your time in airports, time in the kitchen, time doing odd jobs around the house, time just being here. It was the best gift of all.
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