This is David again. In the previous posting to Helen’s blog, I said it would be the last entry. It turns out I grossly underestimated the outpouring of love by so many people and I need to make at least one more entry.
I was overwhelmed by the people who visited at the funeral home Friday and the number who attended her funeral on Saturday. We had planned visitation Friday for the time periods of 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM and then from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Visitation started as planned at 3:00, and continued until 10 minutes to 7:00 when I was able to grab a slice of pizza that one of my children had purchased. I was back at Helen’s side at 7:00 and the last visitors reached the coffin at 10:30. Many people stood in line for over three hours. Approximately 600 people came to the funeral home to honour Helen and to support me and my family.
One of the most touching parts of the day was the young people who came with tears in their eyes, to tell me of the influence Helen had on them as their teacher. About 70 former students visited Friday. The other thing that I had a hard time comprehending was the distance people drove to be with us. Excluding family members, there were friends from Ohio, Michigan, Quebec, and some a considerable distance from Wingham, Wawa, Toronto, Ottawa, Waterloo and Windsor. One couple spent all day Friday driving from Georgetown KY to be with us.
Helen’s funeral was lovely, and touched people in attendance. I was so proud of our children – our “original four” as they spoke words of tribute to their mother, and our chosen daughters as they supported their husbands. Helen made a phenomenal investment in her children, putting aside her teaching career for 18 years to raise them. Financial people talk about return on investment, and Saturday I was reaping the return on Helen’s investment. Our children have cared for us for the past many years, and stood strong with me by their mother as she battled this disease.
At the funeral, we listened to a couple of songs recorded a few years back – one a duet of Helen and I singing “It is well with my soul,” one of a solo by Helen and one of a college chorale in which both Helen and I sang. In attendance at her funeral were 6 or 7 members of that same choir. As I listened to Helen’s beautiful contralto voice sing “why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come … when Jesus is my portion, my constant friend is He … His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me” I felt strangely at peace as I thought that voice will never be silenced, and now sounds even better than Helen did in person.
I want to thank Pastor Gord Reynolds for his care in the past week, and for his role in celebrating Helen’s “graduation.” I thank my brother Dan, for reading on my behalf, the eulogy I had written, and for his words of comfort at the graveside committal service. Thank you Marjorie Hall for your loving hands on the piano, and thank you to the ladies of Gregory Drive Alliance Church for the reception you provided after the funeral.
To Rob McKinlay, and his staff at McKinlay Funeral Home, thank you for your courteous and professional help provided in such a compassionate manner. I entrusted to you the care for my mother and my father in years past, and now Helen.
To my family members including my extended family linked through my chosen daughters, who travelled here from British Columbia, Minnesota, Florida, Texas and Woodstock, thank you for making the circle complete. To my many cousins who stood with me, and who I know will be there for me in the days and weeks ahead, thank you.
And to all of you who came, to the funeral home or the church, or both to pay tribute to Helen, thank you.
To the residents of Chatham-Kent, drivers of the 100+ vehicles that pulled to a stop out of respect as we made the procession from Chatham to Union Cemetery in Pardoville, thank you. Our family and friends from the USA asked me if there was an unusual traffic law in Canada that required vehicles to stop. As I explained that this was not a requirement, but a respectful, local tradition, I was proud to be a resident of Chatham-Kent.
One final touch was a large flock of geese, which flew over as we reached the cemetery. Helen loved watching the Canada geese, and Tundra swans fly over on their migratory journeys. Often when she would hear their honking, she would run out of the house for a better look, and never failed to be excited by their passage. As we reached the cemetery, Pastor Gord pointed out the fact that the geese looked like an air force fly over.
There are many benedictions in the Bible, but Helen’s favourite was Jude 24-25.
“To Him who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy – to the only wise God our Saviour be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore ! Amen.”
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
This is Helen's husband David. This will be the final update to this two year description of a woman of faith, a fighter, a woman who loved her family fiercely, and a woman to whom the love of an incredibly close knit family was returned.
Helen passed peacefully into the presence of our Lord and Maker Saturday evening, October 16, at about 10:00 PM She had had a very "normal" day, a long soak in the evening in our Jacuzzi, and then went to bed about 9:00 PM. At a few minutes to 10:00 as I made my way upstairs, she called out to me. She was in her bathroom coughing, and was spitting up a little bit of blood. Since she was only in her nightgown, I asked her to sit with me on the bed and tell me how she wanted to be dressed for the trip to the ER - just a housecoat and slippers, or what. She walked out of the bathroom, turned and sat down along side of me. Since coughing often gave her a muscle pain in the middle of her back, I began to rub her back as I talked.
I immediately became conscious of her pushing against my hand, and she slowly lay down on her bed. As soon as I saw her face I knew she was gone, but performed CPR to the best of my ability after calling 911, while waiting for the EMTs. When they arrived in about 10 minutes, all of their tests only certified what I already knew. She was already "arrayed in a white robe" slipping into the alto section of the choirs of Heaven, radiant in the face of her Saviour. She and I both had strong apprehensions about "the end" based on experiences of friends and loved ones. That her passing was virtually instantaneous, and painless, was a gift from God.
Also a gift from God were the months we shared together since her diagnosis in July of 2008. We had time to make all arrangements for both of our funerals, and put all of our legal and insurance affairs in order, together. We had 28 months to laugh and love together, to make some trips including Texas several time to see our grandchildren (and their parents !), we were able to welcome into our family a third grandchild, to see our two younger sons married to wonderful young women, and time just to sit and hold hands on the couch. God was so gracious to us.
As we made this journey together, we discovered that there are a multitude of angels in our midst, disguised in the garb of doctors, nurses, and volunteers in the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre (WRCC), and the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance (CKHA). I am afraid to name people for fear of missing someone, but I would like to thank foremost, Dr. Caroline Hamm of the WRCC. Dr. Hamm is a fighter, and together with Helen was not prepared to ever back down in the face of this monster, cancer. She was always confident, professional, and exuded a sense of determination, from which Helen and I drew great strength. I would also like to thank Dr. Khalid Hirmiz (WRCC) for his courage and skill with radiation, and his tenacity in destroying or shrinking tumours in Helen’s lungs, enabling her to breath easier. To Krista Naccarato (WRCC) who guided us, literally and figuratively, in the early days of treatment, through a clinical trial, we always were where we had to be, when, thanks to Krista.
In Chatham, I want to thank Dr. David Sullivan, for his bonhomie as he made his daily visits to the chemo suite, for his gentle but practical care, ensuring that treatments were tolerable, and that Helen had no pain, and could rest at night.
In both Windsor and Chatham, the nurses in the actual chemo suites were comforting and caring combined with their professionalism. They had many “little touches” like Karen in Chatham, who every day brought in a box of her mother’s homemade cookies. I would like to thank Chatham nurses Cheryl Jarescni, Karen Kennedy, Jackie Opavsky, Dianne Jackson, and Colleen Janssens. I am sorry that I do not know the names of the Windsor nurses, as I spent most of my time there in the waiting room. However, Helen was quite outspoken about their care, compassion and skill. Not to be outdone were the volunteers in both locations, like Ben in Windsor, who always kept the waiting rooms flowing with Tim Horton’s coffee and cookies, and who spent hours talking with me and encouraging me when not busy with his tasks.
When Helen was part of a clinical trial in Dallas TX, she received the same compassionate and attentive care from Dr. John Neumanitis and Cindi Bedell at the Mary Crowley Cancer Clinic, as she receive from all other medical professionals. Thanks, y’all !
I also want to thank our caring and helping neighbours, Chuck & Gail Scott, Don & Penney McLellen, and Robert & Beth Stewart. Chuck or Gail would magically show up at the front door with a delicious meal every couple of weeks, while Don and his son James must have real vision problems, because since this spring, when either of them was cutting their front lawn, they would somehow wander off course, and cut our 18,000 square foot lawn. Robert owns what looks like the biggest John Deere in the county, and when snow would clog our 180 foot driveway, he would be there without asking, to make sure we had access to the road. He has cleared our drive in this fashion faithfully since about 1978. Angels hidden amongst us don't just play harps.
Helen was a woman of tenacious faith, a loving partner, a dedicated mother, a wonderful musician, and a committed and outgoing teacher. She touched lives through her personality, her music, her “grand piano smile,” her infectious laugh, and her genuine interest in the well being of other people. She treasured her children, including our “chosen daughters,” chosen for us by our sons. She reveled in her grandchildren, delighted to see them growing and maturing, whether in person or through frequent “Skype” sessions.
She was a soul mate, companion, lover, and friend to me for over 45 years, 43 of which as my bride. I was incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments. She was more than my “better half,” she was my strength, my joy, my “pull me back down to earth dose of realism” person, my comfort in sickness, pain and times of sadness, but also my high-kickin’ partner in times of great joy. I will miss her deeply. It was my delightful privilege to be her husband and friend for 43+ years!
She had so many circles of friends from whom she drew support, and I cannot name them all. However I must mention her "Winston Posse" a group of teachers and retired teachers all of whom taught at Winston Churchill Public School in Chatham at one point in their career. I think this group has been together for 12 or 13 years, publishing a yearly itinerary, which included something for each month ranging from dinners at fine restarants to female retail therapy at a mall in Michigan at least one a year. This spring, when it was obvious that Helen could not plant the beautiful flower gardens that she loved, "garden elves" materialized from this group and friends from our church, and voila! Beautiful gardens as usual.
Finally, I need to thank all of the prayer warriors who upheld her daily. I lost track of the number of the various prayer chains in a multitude of churches who blanketed her in prayer, but I know on any given day there were probably over 1000 people who remembered her. We received great support from our church family here in Chatham, and want to thank Pastor Gord, his wife Pat and all of the multitude of people at Gregory Drive Alliance Church. I also want to thank a dedicated group of believers known as “The Encouragers Class” at Dublin Baptist Church in Dublin Ohio. It was our joy to worship at that church during the time I lived and worked in Dublin, and even though it has been almost 9 years since I left Ohio to retire back in my home town, that group has stayed in touch, sent cards, letters and e-mails constantly. DBC pastor Daryl Gabbard has remained in touch with us and on several occasions has called to encourage us and have prayer with us on the telephone.
For Helen’s sister Carol, my brother Dan and his wife Leona, and my sister Barbara and her husband Cliff, I thank you for the years of sharing, trips together, laughter and bad jokes. In the melding of multiple families, I think we were the cream of the crop.
Helen’s funeral will be on Saturday, October 23, 2010, at the Gregory Drive Alliance Church in Chatham, Ontario, at 11:00 in the morning. Friends and family are invited to come and share memories on Friday, October 22, 2010, at 3:00 to 5:00 in the afternoon, and 7:00 to 9:00 in the evening at the McKinlay Funeral Home at 459 St. Clair Street in Chatham.
Should you wish to make a tribute to Helen, I would ask that instead of flowers, that will wither and die in a few days, that you make a donation to the Foundation of the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre, where your tribute will live on and will help people like Dr. Hamm to research and treat this monstrous disease to the benefit of other patients and future generations. Thank you.
I also would like to thank you faithful readers who followed her blog. As we checked the statistics on the blog this morning, since its inception, it has not been unusual to have over 1000 “hits” every month, and numerous comments with each posting.
In closing, I would like to put here a “prayer of faith” that Helen wrote in this middle of her fight with this disease. I think she may have included this in a post earlier, but it bears repeating.
A Prayer of Faith O God ! Have mercy, I pray ! Deliver me from the onslaught of these fears - These dark imaginings, These dreadful possibilities that are only that - Possibilities - NOT facts. They roll over me like the waves of the sea, And fill me with despair. Help me to realize that the voice that whispers them in my mind Is neither mine - nor yours. Help me instead to turn my thoughts to You - To remember Your precious promises Given so often and so clearly in Your Word - To comfort and sustain, To defend and protect, To fight for those who put their trust in You. Help me to go over them, Lord, The ones You have given me, Word by word, Promise by promise, Step by faltering step, Until I reach Your peace - Until I am enfolded by the Comforter - Until I am safe in the light of Your love - And I can truly speak the prayer That never fails - "Thy will be done." Thank you, O Lord, my God, For Your sustaining love and grace. Amen.
HELEN ELIZABETH (MILLER) GOLDSMITH
August 23, 1945 – October 16, 2010
She touched the future... She taught !
Helen passed peacefully into the presence of our Lord and Maker Saturday evening, October 16, at about 10:00 PM She had had a very "normal" day, a long soak in the evening in our Jacuzzi, and then went to bed about 9:00 PM. At a few minutes to 10:00 as I made my way upstairs, she called out to me. She was in her bathroom coughing, and was spitting up a little bit of blood. Since she was only in her nightgown, I asked her to sit with me on the bed and tell me how she wanted to be dressed for the trip to the ER - just a housecoat and slippers, or what. She walked out of the bathroom, turned and sat down along side of me. Since coughing often gave her a muscle pain in the middle of her back, I began to rub her back as I talked.
I immediately became conscious of her pushing against my hand, and she slowly lay down on her bed. As soon as I saw her face I knew she was gone, but performed CPR to the best of my ability after calling 911, while waiting for the EMTs. When they arrived in about 10 minutes, all of their tests only certified what I already knew. She was already "arrayed in a white robe" slipping into the alto section of the choirs of Heaven, radiant in the face of her Saviour. She and I both had strong apprehensions about "the end" based on experiences of friends and loved ones. That her passing was virtually instantaneous, and painless, was a gift from God.
Also a gift from God were the months we shared together since her diagnosis in July of 2008. We had time to make all arrangements for both of our funerals, and put all of our legal and insurance affairs in order, together. We had 28 months to laugh and love together, to make some trips including Texas several time to see our grandchildren (and their parents !), we were able to welcome into our family a third grandchild, to see our two younger sons married to wonderful young women, and time just to sit and hold hands on the couch. God was so gracious to us.
As we made this journey together, we discovered that there are a multitude of angels in our midst, disguised in the garb of doctors, nurses, and volunteers in the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre (WRCC), and the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance (CKHA). I am afraid to name people for fear of missing someone, but I would like to thank foremost, Dr. Caroline Hamm of the WRCC. Dr. Hamm is a fighter, and together with Helen was not prepared to ever back down in the face of this monster, cancer. She was always confident, professional, and exuded a sense of determination, from which Helen and I drew great strength. I would also like to thank Dr. Khalid Hirmiz (WRCC) for his courage and skill with radiation, and his tenacity in destroying or shrinking tumours in Helen’s lungs, enabling her to breath easier. To Krista Naccarato (WRCC) who guided us, literally and figuratively, in the early days of treatment, through a clinical trial, we always were where we had to be, when, thanks to Krista.
In Chatham, I want to thank Dr. David Sullivan, for his bonhomie as he made his daily visits to the chemo suite, for his gentle but practical care, ensuring that treatments were tolerable, and that Helen had no pain, and could rest at night.
In both Windsor and Chatham, the nurses in the actual chemo suites were comforting and caring combined with their professionalism. They had many “little touches” like Karen in Chatham, who every day brought in a box of her mother’s homemade cookies. I would like to thank Chatham nurses Cheryl Jarescni, Karen Kennedy, Jackie Opavsky, Dianne Jackson, and Colleen Janssens. I am sorry that I do not know the names of the Windsor nurses, as I spent most of my time there in the waiting room. However, Helen was quite outspoken about their care, compassion and skill. Not to be outdone were the volunteers in both locations, like Ben in Windsor, who always kept the waiting rooms flowing with Tim Horton’s coffee and cookies, and who spent hours talking with me and encouraging me when not busy with his tasks.
When Helen was part of a clinical trial in Dallas TX, she received the same compassionate and attentive care from Dr. John Neumanitis and Cindi Bedell at the Mary Crowley Cancer Clinic, as she receive from all other medical professionals. Thanks, y’all !
I also want to thank our caring and helping neighbours, Chuck & Gail Scott, Don & Penney McLellen, and Robert & Beth Stewart. Chuck or Gail would magically show up at the front door with a delicious meal every couple of weeks, while Don and his son James must have real vision problems, because since this spring, when either of them was cutting their front lawn, they would somehow wander off course, and cut our 18,000 square foot lawn. Robert owns what looks like the biggest John Deere in the county, and when snow would clog our 180 foot driveway, he would be there without asking, to make sure we had access to the road. He has cleared our drive in this fashion faithfully since about 1978. Angels hidden amongst us don't just play harps.
Helen was a woman of tenacious faith, a loving partner, a dedicated mother, a wonderful musician, and a committed and outgoing teacher. She touched lives through her personality, her music, her “grand piano smile,” her infectious laugh, and her genuine interest in the well being of other people. She treasured her children, including our “chosen daughters,” chosen for us by our sons. She reveled in her grandchildren, delighted to see them growing and maturing, whether in person or through frequent “Skype” sessions.
She was a soul mate, companion, lover, and friend to me for over 45 years, 43 of which as my bride. I was incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments. She was more than my “better half,” she was my strength, my joy, my “pull me back down to earth dose of realism” person, my comfort in sickness, pain and times of sadness, but also my high-kickin’ partner in times of great joy. I will miss her deeply. It was my delightful privilege to be her husband and friend for 43+ years!
She had so many circles of friends from whom she drew support, and I cannot name them all. However I must mention her "Winston Posse" a group of teachers and retired teachers all of whom taught at Winston Churchill Public School in Chatham at one point in their career. I think this group has been together for 12 or 13 years, publishing a yearly itinerary, which included something for each month ranging from dinners at fine restarants to female retail therapy at a mall in Michigan at least one a year. This spring, when it was obvious that Helen could not plant the beautiful flower gardens that she loved, "garden elves" materialized from this group and friends from our church, and voila! Beautiful gardens as usual.
Finally, I need to thank all of the prayer warriors who upheld her daily. I lost track of the number of the various prayer chains in a multitude of churches who blanketed her in prayer, but I know on any given day there were probably over 1000 people who remembered her. We received great support from our church family here in Chatham, and want to thank Pastor Gord, his wife Pat and all of the multitude of people at Gregory Drive Alliance Church. I also want to thank a dedicated group of believers known as “The Encouragers Class” at Dublin Baptist Church in Dublin Ohio. It was our joy to worship at that church during the time I lived and worked in Dublin, and even though it has been almost 9 years since I left Ohio to retire back in my home town, that group has stayed in touch, sent cards, letters and e-mails constantly. DBC pastor Daryl Gabbard has remained in touch with us and on several occasions has called to encourage us and have prayer with us on the telephone.
For Helen’s sister Carol, my brother Dan and his wife Leona, and my sister Barbara and her husband Cliff, I thank you for the years of sharing, trips together, laughter and bad jokes. In the melding of multiple families, I think we were the cream of the crop.
Helen’s funeral will be on Saturday, October 23, 2010, at the Gregory Drive Alliance Church in Chatham, Ontario, at 11:00 in the morning. Friends and family are invited to come and share memories on Friday, October 22, 2010, at 3:00 to 5:00 in the afternoon, and 7:00 to 9:00 in the evening at the McKinlay Funeral Home at 459 St. Clair Street in Chatham.
Should you wish to make a tribute to Helen, I would ask that instead of flowers, that will wither and die in a few days, that you make a donation to the Foundation of the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre, where your tribute will live on and will help people like Dr. Hamm to research and treat this monstrous disease to the benefit of other patients and future generations. Thank you.
I also would like to thank you faithful readers who followed her blog. As we checked the statistics on the blog this morning, since its inception, it has not been unusual to have over 1000 “hits” every month, and numerous comments with each posting.
In closing, I would like to put here a “prayer of faith” that Helen wrote in this middle of her fight with this disease. I think she may have included this in a post earlier, but it bears repeating.
A Prayer of Faith O God ! Have mercy, I pray ! Deliver me from the onslaught of these fears - These dark imaginings, These dreadful possibilities that are only that - Possibilities - NOT facts. They roll over me like the waves of the sea, And fill me with despair. Help me to realize that the voice that whispers them in my mind Is neither mine - nor yours. Help me instead to turn my thoughts to You - To remember Your precious promises Given so often and so clearly in Your Word - To comfort and sustain, To defend and protect, To fight for those who put their trust in You. Help me to go over them, Lord, The ones You have given me, Word by word, Promise by promise, Step by faltering step, Until I reach Your peace - Until I am enfolded by the Comforter - Until I am safe in the light of Your love - And I can truly speak the prayer That never fails - "Thy will be done." Thank you, O Lord, my God, For Your sustaining love and grace. Amen.
HELEN ELIZABETH (MILLER) GOLDSMITH
August 23, 1945 – October 16, 2010
She touched the future... She taught !
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Update - October 7, 2010
Good morning, one and all ! Good news to report !
I had my monthly visit yesterday with my oncologist in Windsor and she gave me good news. There is no evidence of progression of the cancer, there is nothing going on in my liver (there was some question of that in September and I was braced yesterday to be told it had spread there) and she is going to make arrangements for me to have a permanent drain inserted to get the fluid off my lung to help my breathing. She said I might even be able to get off the oxygen, which would be amazing. (Nurses would come to the house to take the fluid off on some schedule – it wouldn’t be leaking all the time or anything like that.) So David and I were a happy pair when we left the building ! To top if off, we were only there 1.5 hours ! We are very thankful for my continued good health, for the medicines that are keeping it that way and for God’s mercy, which underlies the whole thing.
Last week, David had a bone marrow aspiration and tomorrow he will have a CT scan of his head, looking for any blockages that might be causing the dizzy spells and black-outs. There has already been mention made of anemia – news to us. He goes back to the doctor Oct. 13 and we are hoping for answers to the mystery.
We set off on a ‘weekend away’ last Thursday, Sept. 30. Our Texas son, Steve was in Waterloo on business, so we all had supper together that night – Amy, Mike and Lian were all there as well. It was great to see them – had breakfast in St. Jacob’s the next morning, too. Then David and I left to drive to Wiarton on the Bruce Peninsula, where he had a school board regional meeting. It felt like we were driving right to the North Pole, but that just shows you that we are soft southerners. We had a good time – found a nice little café on the main street there which served excellent food (Green Door Café). Then Sunday, we drove 351 km. down Highway 21, along the eastern shore of Lake Huron. It was a lovely drive – the lake is so blue and the leaves are all turning. It was sort of a test case, to see if I could travel that far at a time, and it worked out very well.
We have so much to be thankful for this weekend ! May God bring to your minds and hearts all the blessings that you have experienced as well. Thank you again for your prayers.
I had my monthly visit yesterday with my oncologist in Windsor and she gave me good news. There is no evidence of progression of the cancer, there is nothing going on in my liver (there was some question of that in September and I was braced yesterday to be told it had spread there) and she is going to make arrangements for me to have a permanent drain inserted to get the fluid off my lung to help my breathing. She said I might even be able to get off the oxygen, which would be amazing. (Nurses would come to the house to take the fluid off on some schedule – it wouldn’t be leaking all the time or anything like that.) So David and I were a happy pair when we left the building ! To top if off, we were only there 1.5 hours ! We are very thankful for my continued good health, for the medicines that are keeping it that way and for God’s mercy, which underlies the whole thing.
Last week, David had a bone marrow aspiration and tomorrow he will have a CT scan of his head, looking for any blockages that might be causing the dizzy spells and black-outs. There has already been mention made of anemia – news to us. He goes back to the doctor Oct. 13 and we are hoping for answers to the mystery.
We set off on a ‘weekend away’ last Thursday, Sept. 30. Our Texas son, Steve was in Waterloo on business, so we all had supper together that night – Amy, Mike and Lian were all there as well. It was great to see them – had breakfast in St. Jacob’s the next morning, too. Then David and I left to drive to Wiarton on the Bruce Peninsula, where he had a school board regional meeting. It felt like we were driving right to the North Pole, but that just shows you that we are soft southerners. We had a good time – found a nice little café on the main street there which served excellent food (Green Door Café). Then Sunday, we drove 351 km. down Highway 21, along the eastern shore of Lake Huron. It was a lovely drive – the lake is so blue and the leaves are all turning. It was sort of a test case, to see if I could travel that far at a time, and it worked out very well.
We have so much to be thankful for this weekend ! May God bring to your minds and hearts all the blessings that you have experienced as well. Thank you again for your prayers.
Monday, September 20, 2010
P.S. to Update for Sept. 20, 2010
David had a very positive visit this afternoon with the internist and has several tests scheduled, which we hope will go a long way towards finding the answers to these blackouts and collapsing episodes. He will see the doctor again Oct. 13 and we hope to have some ideas then.
Update - September 20, 2010
Good morning! I have not updated this blog for almost a month, so there is lots to tell you.
The last week of August and the first week of September were pretty quiet – just the usual stuff. I had chemo on schedule; David had another trip to London for an eye check-up that went well. We enjoyed going to a pig roast one weekend and having lunch with another couple as well. I had a couple of solo lunch and dinner dates – an enjoyable time and I was feeling pretty good.
However, the Saturday night of Labour Day weekend, I had a lot of pain in my side during the night and I asked David to take me to Emerg. Sunday morning. We were there the whole morning – another CT scan and chest x-ray – and lots of waiting. However, I do have to say that they took me right in – didn’t even ‘touch down’ in the waiting room. The verdict was that I had a lot of fluid around my right lung but in light of my plans to fly to Texas later that week, doing a fluid drain at that time was not a good idea. So, home I went with a prescription for pain pills.
Two days later, (Tuesday) I had a regular appointment in Windsor with my oncologist. She had some concerns from the CT scan I had had in July and did not realize that I had had another one Sunday morning. She was unable to call that up (the hospitals are linked wirelessly) and did not want to make a decision about the fluid either until she had seen the most recent x-ray and scan. She is concerned that the cancer might have invaded my liver - NOT news I wanted to hear. However, not much I can do about it. We left it that I would have a regular appointment again Oct. 6.
Wednesday, Amy arrived after her own doctor’s appointment , which went very well. We packed and got ourselves ready for an early departure the next day. I was concerned to leave David for that long because of his dizzy spells and when Amy arrived and saw how he was, she called back to Kitchcner and asked if Lian could come to Chatham for longer than the weekend planned. Lian agreed; she’d arrive by supper Thursday and stay until Wed. morning. So, I felt much better about that – Mike would be down for the weekend, too.
Thursday morning we set off in high spirits to drive to Detroit to catch the plane. It is a direct flight to Austin of 2.5 hours – very doable on an oxygen concentrator. We had expected a lot of checking for my machine, but nobody was interested. I am able to be a ‘wheelchair person’ and that gets me a lot of other advantages getting through the airport to the gate. We had a good flight, Steve was waiting in the luggage area and it was 93F ! Yeah, Texas !
We had a wonderful week there. Amy had rented a little house through HomeAway.com that was only a few blocks from Steve and Kristen’s house, right in the neighbourhood that we knew. We just loved it ! Very well appointed and attractive. We had lots of meals out, lots of visits with Kristen’s mom, lots of good times and helped Steve celebrate his birthday. I saw Clay’s school and classroom (got the full tour!), went to his violin lesson, warched Emmy working on learning to crawl, and Lily just enjoying life. ( Lily is 2 and likes to be barefoot so that she has better traction. ) The last day, Steve and Kristen treated Amy and I to a morning at Lake Austin Spa, which we all enjoyed. Amy and I had facials and manicures and Steve and Kristen had pedicures – Steve wound up with ‘shiny toes’. It was a great day.
We returned to Detroit Thursday to a rainstorm and 60F weather – I wanted to get right back on the plane and go back to Texas. While we had been in Texas, there had been a call from my oncologist’s office saying that I had the fluid drain scheduled for Friday, Sept. 17. I was a little anxious (How big will that needle be, anyhow?) but it turned out to be quite easy. The radiologist removed 1.2 L of fluid; an ‘after’ x-ray showed that there was still more, so I might have to do it again. If so, it will be no problem.
Mike and Lian returned this past weekend and did their usual magic around the house. All my big ‘jungle’ of tropical plants are safely back in the house, back grass is cut, lovely meals prepared and eaten, groceries bought – all the things that I used to be able to do so effortlessly. We appreciate the help and love of our children so much. I truly don’t know what we would have done this year without that.
Today we have a doctor’s appointment for David to see if we can get some answers to these dizzy spells – I am hoping and praying for help for him with that.
So – things are going well, although the possibility of liver involvement is scary. I should find out more about that in October. Sometimes I feel like there is a monster lurking in my body, ready to pounce when I least expect it and that is very unnerving. However, those are also the moments when I have to make a conscious decision to trust in God’s ongoing care for me and turn away from that fear. Regardless of the outcome, I know that I live ‘under the bubble’ of His care; nothing happens to me that He does not know about or is not able to help me with. I just have to keep looking at Him and not the monster.
May God keep you today, wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
The last week of August and the first week of September were pretty quiet – just the usual stuff. I had chemo on schedule; David had another trip to London for an eye check-up that went well. We enjoyed going to a pig roast one weekend and having lunch with another couple as well. I had a couple of solo lunch and dinner dates – an enjoyable time and I was feeling pretty good.
However, the Saturday night of Labour Day weekend, I had a lot of pain in my side during the night and I asked David to take me to Emerg. Sunday morning. We were there the whole morning – another CT scan and chest x-ray – and lots of waiting. However, I do have to say that they took me right in – didn’t even ‘touch down’ in the waiting room. The verdict was that I had a lot of fluid around my right lung but in light of my plans to fly to Texas later that week, doing a fluid drain at that time was not a good idea. So, home I went with a prescription for pain pills.
Two days later, (Tuesday) I had a regular appointment in Windsor with my oncologist. She had some concerns from the CT scan I had had in July and did not realize that I had had another one Sunday morning. She was unable to call that up (the hospitals are linked wirelessly) and did not want to make a decision about the fluid either until she had seen the most recent x-ray and scan. She is concerned that the cancer might have invaded my liver - NOT news I wanted to hear. However, not much I can do about it. We left it that I would have a regular appointment again Oct. 6.
Wednesday, Amy arrived after her own doctor’s appointment , which went very well. We packed and got ourselves ready for an early departure the next day. I was concerned to leave David for that long because of his dizzy spells and when Amy arrived and saw how he was, she called back to Kitchcner and asked if Lian could come to Chatham for longer than the weekend planned. Lian agreed; she’d arrive by supper Thursday and stay until Wed. morning. So, I felt much better about that – Mike would be down for the weekend, too.
Thursday morning we set off in high spirits to drive to Detroit to catch the plane. It is a direct flight to Austin of 2.5 hours – very doable on an oxygen concentrator. We had expected a lot of checking for my machine, but nobody was interested. I am able to be a ‘wheelchair person’ and that gets me a lot of other advantages getting through the airport to the gate. We had a good flight, Steve was waiting in the luggage area and it was 93F ! Yeah, Texas !
We had a wonderful week there. Amy had rented a little house through HomeAway.com that was only a few blocks from Steve and Kristen’s house, right in the neighbourhood that we knew. We just loved it ! Very well appointed and attractive. We had lots of meals out, lots of visits with Kristen’s mom, lots of good times and helped Steve celebrate his birthday. I saw Clay’s school and classroom (got the full tour!), went to his violin lesson, warched Emmy working on learning to crawl, and Lily just enjoying life. ( Lily is 2 and likes to be barefoot so that she has better traction. ) The last day, Steve and Kristen treated Amy and I to a morning at Lake Austin Spa, which we all enjoyed. Amy and I had facials and manicures and Steve and Kristen had pedicures – Steve wound up with ‘shiny toes’. It was a great day.
We returned to Detroit Thursday to a rainstorm and 60F weather – I wanted to get right back on the plane and go back to Texas. While we had been in Texas, there had been a call from my oncologist’s office saying that I had the fluid drain scheduled for Friday, Sept. 17. I was a little anxious (How big will that needle be, anyhow?) but it turned out to be quite easy. The radiologist removed 1.2 L of fluid; an ‘after’ x-ray showed that there was still more, so I might have to do it again. If so, it will be no problem.
Mike and Lian returned this past weekend and did their usual magic around the house. All my big ‘jungle’ of tropical plants are safely back in the house, back grass is cut, lovely meals prepared and eaten, groceries bought – all the things that I used to be able to do so effortlessly. We appreciate the help and love of our children so much. I truly don’t know what we would have done this year without that.
Today we have a doctor’s appointment for David to see if we can get some answers to these dizzy spells – I am hoping and praying for help for him with that.
So – things are going well, although the possibility of liver involvement is scary. I should find out more about that in October. Sometimes I feel like there is a monster lurking in my body, ready to pounce when I least expect it and that is very unnerving. However, those are also the moments when I have to make a conscious decision to trust in God’s ongoing care for me and turn away from that fear. Regardless of the outcome, I know that I live ‘under the bubble’ of His care; nothing happens to me that He does not know about or is not able to help me with. I just have to keep looking at Him and not the monster.
May God keep you today, wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Update - August 26, 2010
Good morning ! All is well on our front! We returned to the Ivey Institute this past Tuesday for David’s eye check-up, prepared for the news that he might have to have surgery the next day. However, the report was great – eye was stable and healing and nothing else was necessary at that time. So we happily returned home and enjoyed a Wednesday free of appointments.
I had no treatments this week, either, so it has been a quiet time for both of us.
This followed a lovely birthday weekend for me – by Saturday, all four kids were home and we had a great time together. Steve took over the kitchen and fed people as they arrived but we went out to our favourite restaurant for supper. By Sunday they had to start leaving again but we had a good time together while it lasted. Pete was not on his way to Brazil as I had thought – he made a ‘boomerang trip’ from Seattle to be here and Steve flew up from Texas. Time together is the gift that I think I value the most anymore and I appreciated so much the effort that all of them made to be here.
Plans are in the works for Amy and I to fly to Texas for Steve’s birthday in September. We’ll be there for a week and I’m very pleased to think that I can do this and also that I will be able to be in Texas again. So – I really am feeling better !
Thank you again for your prayers and loving support. Hardly a day goes by without someone sending a card or some other thoughtful gift. I appreciate it all so much. May you be aware of God’s presence with you today as you go about your life.
I had no treatments this week, either, so it has been a quiet time for both of us.
This followed a lovely birthday weekend for me – by Saturday, all four kids were home and we had a great time together. Steve took over the kitchen and fed people as they arrived but we went out to our favourite restaurant for supper. By Sunday they had to start leaving again but we had a good time together while it lasted. Pete was not on his way to Brazil as I had thought – he made a ‘boomerang trip’ from Seattle to be here and Steve flew up from Texas. Time together is the gift that I think I value the most anymore and I appreciated so much the effort that all of them made to be here.
Plans are in the works for Amy and I to fly to Texas for Steve’s birthday in September. We’ll be there for a week and I’m very pleased to think that I can do this and also that I will be able to be in Texas again. So – I really am feeling better !
Thank you again for your prayers and loving support. Hardly a day goes by without someone sending a card or some other thoughtful gift. I appreciate it all so much. May you be aware of God’s presence with you today as you go about your life.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Update - August 19, 2010
Good morning ! It’s been a while since I updated this blog, but things have been happening again, as you will hear.
Last week, I had a chemo treatment on Monday (Aug. 9) as well as my second dose of the bone strengthener, Aredia. I was expecting to have a few ‘down days’ after that, as I had had the first time, but fortunately, that didn’t happen. No reaction to anything ! Wednesday afternoon, I was at the hospital for a respiratory test to see if I need additional oxygen ( would support funding for this.) It also went very well. However, on Wednesday David also began to notice that the cloudiness in his vision that he had been experiencing since July 28 was getting worse – big ‘floaters’ in his left (good) eye. When he woke up Thursday, he could hardly see out of the eye at all and was quite concerned, as the vision in his right eye is still not 100%. He called the optometrist for an appointment and we went in Friday morning.
When the optometrist looked at David’s eye, he decided to call the surgeon in London who had treated the right eye and we were asked to come up there as soon as we could. Fortunately, Amy had come here Thursday, intending to just pick up her dog, who had stayed with us while she was in Seattle the previous weekend. So – off we went, Amy driving. The surgeon – and several other people – had a good look in David’s eye and decided that it wasn’t immediately critical – but that we should return for the clinic at 8:30 Monday morning. This is at the Ivey Eye Institute, at St. Joseph’s Hospital in north London, north of Oxford and Richmond, if you know the city. For us, it is a 90 min. drive, so that meant up and out by 7:00 a.m.
After another careful check Monday morning, the surgeon decided that there was a tear on the retina and that he would ‘spot weld’ around it with a laser, to keep additional eye fluid from leaking in behind it and tearing it more. (The cloudiness had been caused by blood from the retina tear.) So – laser treatment (which hurt) and instructions to return at 8:00 a.m. Wednesday, in case there had to be further surgery. Wednesday(yesterday)we got better news – the weld is holding but it needs more time to heal. No surgery needed – but come back next Tuesday (Aug. 24) for a check at 1:15 in case there needs to be surgery the next day. In between, in Tuesday, I had my second chemo treatment of this cycle, which went well, as usual.
So – no dull moments, still ! Amy was a real trouper – stayed with us and drove all the trips to London and then took herself off home Wednesday afternoon. We had been to London and back, including breakfast out, by noon that day ! She will return Friday, with Steve. This coming weekend is my 65th birthday – not sure how that happened – but we are looking forward to a family dinner together Saturday night. Pete is winging through from Seattle via Detroit on his way to Brazil again and will be here about 24 hours and Mike and Lian will come down Friday night or Saturday morning, once Mike gets over his jet lag from his trip to China this week. I can’t believe how the world of business just says casually to people – ‘Oh – you have to be in *** next week. Have you bought your ticket?” The amount of money spent on business airfare must be staggering.
Keep on praying, please !!
I will conclude by saying that I feel great and one could say almost healthy – just a little short of breath. I have to travel with my portable oxygen converter but it lets me go almost anywhere by myself. I also have to expect to be very tired by the end of the day and not get discouraged – a night’s rest and I am ‘topped up’ again. So things are really going very, very well for me. I appreciate all your prayers and concern. God has been so good and I am so thankful for each day.
Last week, I had a chemo treatment on Monday (Aug. 9) as well as my second dose of the bone strengthener, Aredia. I was expecting to have a few ‘down days’ after that, as I had had the first time, but fortunately, that didn’t happen. No reaction to anything ! Wednesday afternoon, I was at the hospital for a respiratory test to see if I need additional oxygen ( would support funding for this.) It also went very well. However, on Wednesday David also began to notice that the cloudiness in his vision that he had been experiencing since July 28 was getting worse – big ‘floaters’ in his left (good) eye. When he woke up Thursday, he could hardly see out of the eye at all and was quite concerned, as the vision in his right eye is still not 100%. He called the optometrist for an appointment and we went in Friday morning.
When the optometrist looked at David’s eye, he decided to call the surgeon in London who had treated the right eye and we were asked to come up there as soon as we could. Fortunately, Amy had come here Thursday, intending to just pick up her dog, who had stayed with us while she was in Seattle the previous weekend. So – off we went, Amy driving. The surgeon – and several other people – had a good look in David’s eye and decided that it wasn’t immediately critical – but that we should return for the clinic at 8:30 Monday morning. This is at the Ivey Eye Institute, at St. Joseph’s Hospital in north London, north of Oxford and Richmond, if you know the city. For us, it is a 90 min. drive, so that meant up and out by 7:00 a.m.
After another careful check Monday morning, the surgeon decided that there was a tear on the retina and that he would ‘spot weld’ around it with a laser, to keep additional eye fluid from leaking in behind it and tearing it more. (The cloudiness had been caused by blood from the retina tear.) So – laser treatment (which hurt) and instructions to return at 8:00 a.m. Wednesday, in case there had to be further surgery. Wednesday(yesterday)we got better news – the weld is holding but it needs more time to heal. No surgery needed – but come back next Tuesday (Aug. 24) for a check at 1:15 in case there needs to be surgery the next day. In between, in Tuesday, I had my second chemo treatment of this cycle, which went well, as usual.
So – no dull moments, still ! Amy was a real trouper – stayed with us and drove all the trips to London and then took herself off home Wednesday afternoon. We had been to London and back, including breakfast out, by noon that day ! She will return Friday, with Steve. This coming weekend is my 65th birthday – not sure how that happened – but we are looking forward to a family dinner together Saturday night. Pete is winging through from Seattle via Detroit on his way to Brazil again and will be here about 24 hours and Mike and Lian will come down Friday night or Saturday morning, once Mike gets over his jet lag from his trip to China this week. I can’t believe how the world of business just says casually to people – ‘Oh – you have to be in *** next week. Have you bought your ticket?” The amount of money spent on business airfare must be staggering.
Keep on praying, please !!
I will conclude by saying that I feel great and one could say almost healthy – just a little short of breath. I have to travel with my portable oxygen converter but it lets me go almost anywhere by myself. I also have to expect to be very tired by the end of the day and not get discouraged – a night’s rest and I am ‘topped up’ again. So things are really going very, very well for me. I appreciate all your prayers and concern. God has been so good and I am so thankful for each day.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Update - Aug. 4, 2010
Good morning - not much to report this week. It's my 'week off' and I have nothing medical happening at all !
Last weekend, we made plans to drive to Dublin, Ohio, where David used to live and work. However, at the last minute, David's vertigo acted up and he felt unable to drive. I was all packed and primed to go somewhere, so we agreed that I would drive to Kitchener and spend the weekend with Amy. I enjoyed the drive and felt that I had taken another big step back towards a more normal life. (It's about 2 hours from here.) I also had time with Mike and Lian, who live in the same city.
This coming Friday evening, Pete and Jocelyn are having a reception in Seattle for their friends who could not make it to Detroit in June. Amy, Steve and Mike and Lian are all going to be there. I will be there in spirit, as David probably will also, but that's as close as I can make it. Even if I took the trip out there successfully, it's not starting until 7:00 PDT (a reasonable time, to be sure) but that is 10:00 p.m. EDT and I am usuially done and horizontal long before that. So, I will wait to hear the stories.
That's pretty well all there is to say for now - just a regular week, normal life, trying to keep up with the house chores and figure out what to have for supper, the perpetual question. Hope you have a good week at whatever you are up to.
Last weekend, we made plans to drive to Dublin, Ohio, where David used to live and work. However, at the last minute, David's vertigo acted up and he felt unable to drive. I was all packed and primed to go somewhere, so we agreed that I would drive to Kitchener and spend the weekend with Amy. I enjoyed the drive and felt that I had taken another big step back towards a more normal life. (It's about 2 hours from here.) I also had time with Mike and Lian, who live in the same city.
This coming Friday evening, Pete and Jocelyn are having a reception in Seattle for their friends who could not make it to Detroit in June. Amy, Steve and Mike and Lian are all going to be there. I will be there in spirit, as David probably will also, but that's as close as I can make it. Even if I took the trip out there successfully, it's not starting until 7:00 PDT (a reasonable time, to be sure) but that is 10:00 p.m. EDT and I am usuially done and horizontal long before that. So, I will wait to hear the stories.
That's pretty well all there is to say for now - just a regular week, normal life, trying to keep up with the house chores and figure out what to have for supper, the perpetual question. Hope you have a good week at whatever you are up to.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Update - July 27, 2010
Good morning – two weeks since I last reported in but I have quite a bit of news to tell you.
Last week was quite busy – on Monday, (July 19) my chemo day, it was discovered that my hemoglobin was down to 81 (from the normal 120 or so) and I almost didn’t get my chemo. (This happens when you are given chemo over a long period of time – it destroys fast-growing cells and the red blood cells in your bone marrow would be one of the ones ‘under attack’. They said it was surprising that I hadn’t already had a transfusion, due to the amount of chemo that I have had.) I was scheduled for a blood transfusion Wednesday morning – 2 units and 4+ hours to do this! Then Tuesday afternoon, I already had appointments in Windsor for a CT scan and bone scan. For the bone scan, you get a needle of radioactive dye that has to circulate through your body and you have to wait while it does that. I got the needle at 1:30 but had to wait for the scan until 4:15 – and then it took most of an hour. Lots of practice waiting ! The rest of the week was fairly quiet; a good thing, because it was still very hot and humid.
Amy came back Sunday to be with us for my chemo yesterday morning and also for the trip to Windsor to hear about the results from the scans. I was quite anxious – more than I realized – and afraid that I was going to hear that my bones looked like Swiss cheese. However, God is good and so was the news ! I have only the two metastases on my head – lumpy head – and the CT scan showed that my liver is still clear, so I am clean, clean, clean except for the cancer in my lungs. Such a relief !!! The doctor explained that the CT scan also showed progression of that cancer since April but that she didn’t feel it was accurate – that I had dropped farther after the CT scan in April than we realized and was now on the upward swing but still not back to where I was in April. However, I feel extremely well and everything is working very well – breathing especially – so we are going with that. The blood transfusion has helped with my energy levels – no red blood cells, no oxygen, no energy – and my colour is better too – according to onlookers!
We celebrated this good news by going to a Red Lobster in Windsor and ordering lobster ! Haven’t had one for years ! It was quite an exercise – they don’t cut it open for you as some places do, so you have to wrestle it ‘to the ground’ all by yourself. But boy! Did it taste good!
We are contemplating actually going away on a weekend trip to see if we remember how to do it – haven’t been too many places since all of this started. We did make it up to a park on the St. Clair River south of Sarnia, one of our favourite places, to have a little picnic a week ago Sunday and enjoyed that. For those of you who don’t live in this area, that’s the river between the USA and Canada, and between Lake Huron and Lake St. Clair. You can look across and watch road traffic in the USA on the other side and if you were a good swimmer you might be able to swim across. There’s always a good chance of seeing a lake freighter, too – pretty impressive at close quarters.
So I am very happy to report this good news to you and to thank you once again for all your support and prayers, especially during the last few months when things looked pretty black. I think it’s safe to say that I’ll be here long past October now but each of us only has today and I am still practicing living in ‘now’.
May God’s presence be known to you today.
Last week was quite busy – on Monday, (July 19) my chemo day, it was discovered that my hemoglobin was down to 81 (from the normal 120 or so) and I almost didn’t get my chemo. (This happens when you are given chemo over a long period of time – it destroys fast-growing cells and the red blood cells in your bone marrow would be one of the ones ‘under attack’. They said it was surprising that I hadn’t already had a transfusion, due to the amount of chemo that I have had.) I was scheduled for a blood transfusion Wednesday morning – 2 units and 4+ hours to do this! Then Tuesday afternoon, I already had appointments in Windsor for a CT scan and bone scan. For the bone scan, you get a needle of radioactive dye that has to circulate through your body and you have to wait while it does that. I got the needle at 1:30 but had to wait for the scan until 4:15 – and then it took most of an hour. Lots of practice waiting ! The rest of the week was fairly quiet; a good thing, because it was still very hot and humid.
Amy came back Sunday to be with us for my chemo yesterday morning and also for the trip to Windsor to hear about the results from the scans. I was quite anxious – more than I realized – and afraid that I was going to hear that my bones looked like Swiss cheese. However, God is good and so was the news ! I have only the two metastases on my head – lumpy head – and the CT scan showed that my liver is still clear, so I am clean, clean, clean except for the cancer in my lungs. Such a relief !!! The doctor explained that the CT scan also showed progression of that cancer since April but that she didn’t feel it was accurate – that I had dropped farther after the CT scan in April than we realized and was now on the upward swing but still not back to where I was in April. However, I feel extremely well and everything is working very well – breathing especially – so we are going with that. The blood transfusion has helped with my energy levels – no red blood cells, no oxygen, no energy – and my colour is better too – according to onlookers!
We celebrated this good news by going to a Red Lobster in Windsor and ordering lobster ! Haven’t had one for years ! It was quite an exercise – they don’t cut it open for you as some places do, so you have to wrestle it ‘to the ground’ all by yourself. But boy! Did it taste good!
We are contemplating actually going away on a weekend trip to see if we remember how to do it – haven’t been too many places since all of this started. We did make it up to a park on the St. Clair River south of Sarnia, one of our favourite places, to have a little picnic a week ago Sunday and enjoyed that. For those of you who don’t live in this area, that’s the river between the USA and Canada, and between Lake Huron and Lake St. Clair. You can look across and watch road traffic in the USA on the other side and if you were a good swimmer you might be able to swim across. There’s always a good chance of seeing a lake freighter, too – pretty impressive at close quarters.
So I am very happy to report this good news to you and to thank you once again for all your support and prayers, especially during the last few months when things looked pretty black. I think it’s safe to say that I’ll be here long past October now but each of us only has today and I am still practicing living in ‘now’.
May God’s presence be known to you today.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Update - July 12, 2010
Good morning – hard to believe it’s been this long since I updated the blog but things have been busy, as you will see.
We came home from the weddings two weeks ago today – arrived home about 3:30 in the afternoon from Kitchener. I went out for groceries about 5:00 p.m. and as I was arriving back home at 5:30, David saw me and decided to come and help. He stood up quickly, forgetting that he needs to be slower and to wait, because of his vertigo problems. He made it to the door of his den, realized that he was going to fall and turned to go back to his desk chair. He didn’t make it – he passed out and fell, striking his face on the edge of his desk and falling with his head under it. I was in the house by then and rushed in to see what was happening. I could see that he was bleeding but not from where. He was groggy and couldn’t move himself, but in a few minutes he was able to roll over onto his back and out from under the desk. He had bruised his face and was bleeding around his left eye. I decided an ambulance was the only option and he agreed. He was taken to ER after being checked out and eventually had 6 stitches under his eye. However, he is on blood thinners and that caused tremendous bleeding; most of his face turned dark purple and his eyes were terribly swollen for a few days. He still has vestiges of the bruising two weeks later.
A neighbour saw the ambulance and came over to check it out. She took me to the ER and stayed with me, eventually bringing David home as well. It was quite shocking and very painful for him as well; he had a headache for several days and didn’t wear his contacts because of his bloodshot eyes. Most of that seems to have passed now. I was very impressed with the ambulance crew – their kindness and their efficiency.
A week ago today, I had two doctor’s appointments in Windsor. In the morning, I saw the radiologist, who confirmed that the treatment the first week of May had been very effective in improving my breathing and reducing the tumour that was restricting the airflow. I do not need to see him again unless my oncologist feels it is necessary. (This would be because there was another tumour in my lung that was possibly treatable by radiation.) In the afternoon, I saw my oncologist and the news from her was more mixed. She showed me my two chest x-rays from May and June and pointed out the improvements – less compression of my heart, more breathing room in my left lung – all very good news. This shows that the new chemo is having an effect and I will be staying on it indefinitely (as long as it is working, at this point.) I have a weekly treatment for two weeks and then the third week off. The bad news was that the lump on my head is a bone metastasis and that the cancer is spreading to bones as well as lungs. However, she was quite matter-of-fact about it and said, “This is what it is; this is what we are going to do.” I am now on an additional medicine called Aredia which is not chemo but a bone-strengthener. It is also used for osteoarthritis. Tuesday, I went for my chemo in Chatham and wound up getting the Aredia right away. It didn’t have any effect at the time, but I had a low fever that night and spent the next two days in bed, just wiped out. I didn’t feel nauseated or anything – just had no energy and actually slept for part of Wednesday, quite unusual for me. I’m still coming around from it and do not feel anything like I felt at the weddings – but there are other contributing factors to that, I’m sure. I will have a treatment of Aredia every three weeks.
Amy was with us all week and Mike and Lian came down for part of the weekend but everyone went home last night and today it’s just David and I.
I’m struggling with this bone cancer diagnosis; I was feeling so well at the time of the weddings that I thought I might get a break and be ‘normal’ for a while. Now I have to figure out what this means and what consequences I will have to deal with – not too positive the last couple of days, I must admit. However, I have been reminded by several family members that I am much better than I was in April and that I have just come through a fairly intense time of travel and emotion and I should give myself a break. So I am trying to do just that. I’m really not a good patient – I can cope with an illness as long as I don’t feel bad!
I know that God is still in this with me and I continue to trust in His guidance – blindly, sometimes, like a little kid hanging onto a parent’s hand or coat – but trusting in the knowledge, wisdom, purpose and love of the One who is leading. Thank you so much for your prayers – there are so many of you who are so kind to remember me.
We came home from the weddings two weeks ago today – arrived home about 3:30 in the afternoon from Kitchener. I went out for groceries about 5:00 p.m. and as I was arriving back home at 5:30, David saw me and decided to come and help. He stood up quickly, forgetting that he needs to be slower and to wait, because of his vertigo problems. He made it to the door of his den, realized that he was going to fall and turned to go back to his desk chair. He didn’t make it – he passed out and fell, striking his face on the edge of his desk and falling with his head under it. I was in the house by then and rushed in to see what was happening. I could see that he was bleeding but not from where. He was groggy and couldn’t move himself, but in a few minutes he was able to roll over onto his back and out from under the desk. He had bruised his face and was bleeding around his left eye. I decided an ambulance was the only option and he agreed. He was taken to ER after being checked out and eventually had 6 stitches under his eye. However, he is on blood thinners and that caused tremendous bleeding; most of his face turned dark purple and his eyes were terribly swollen for a few days. He still has vestiges of the bruising two weeks later.
A neighbour saw the ambulance and came over to check it out. She took me to the ER and stayed with me, eventually bringing David home as well. It was quite shocking and very painful for him as well; he had a headache for several days and didn’t wear his contacts because of his bloodshot eyes. Most of that seems to have passed now. I was very impressed with the ambulance crew – their kindness and their efficiency.
A week ago today, I had two doctor’s appointments in Windsor. In the morning, I saw the radiologist, who confirmed that the treatment the first week of May had been very effective in improving my breathing and reducing the tumour that was restricting the airflow. I do not need to see him again unless my oncologist feels it is necessary. (This would be because there was another tumour in my lung that was possibly treatable by radiation.) In the afternoon, I saw my oncologist and the news from her was more mixed. She showed me my two chest x-rays from May and June and pointed out the improvements – less compression of my heart, more breathing room in my left lung – all very good news. This shows that the new chemo is having an effect and I will be staying on it indefinitely (as long as it is working, at this point.) I have a weekly treatment for two weeks and then the third week off. The bad news was that the lump on my head is a bone metastasis and that the cancer is spreading to bones as well as lungs. However, she was quite matter-of-fact about it and said, “This is what it is; this is what we are going to do.” I am now on an additional medicine called Aredia which is not chemo but a bone-strengthener. It is also used for osteoarthritis. Tuesday, I went for my chemo in Chatham and wound up getting the Aredia right away. It didn’t have any effect at the time, but I had a low fever that night and spent the next two days in bed, just wiped out. I didn’t feel nauseated or anything – just had no energy and actually slept for part of Wednesday, quite unusual for me. I’m still coming around from it and do not feel anything like I felt at the weddings – but there are other contributing factors to that, I’m sure. I will have a treatment of Aredia every three weeks.
Amy was with us all week and Mike and Lian came down for part of the weekend but everyone went home last night and today it’s just David and I.
I’m struggling with this bone cancer diagnosis; I was feeling so well at the time of the weddings that I thought I might get a break and be ‘normal’ for a while. Now I have to figure out what this means and what consequences I will have to deal with – not too positive the last couple of days, I must admit. However, I have been reminded by several family members that I am much better than I was in April and that I have just come through a fairly intense time of travel and emotion and I should give myself a break. So I am trying to do just that. I’m really not a good patient – I can cope with an illness as long as I don’t feel bad!
I know that God is still in this with me and I continue to trust in His guidance – blindly, sometimes, like a little kid hanging onto a parent’s hand or coat – but trusting in the knowledge, wisdom, purpose and love of the One who is leading. Thank you so much for your prayers – there are so many of you who are so kind to remember me.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wedding Report June 2010
The summary statement is: We couldn't have asked for more beautiful, enjoyable wedding days than the ones we were able to enjoy in the last 10 days. They seemed as if they had always been planned to happen when and where they did!
Wedding # 1 - Pete and Jocelyn
We left for Detroit on Thursday, June 17, in order to celebrate our own 43rd anniversary that night before all the other festivites and had a lovely dinner at a restaurant just a half-block from the hotel. Friday was a quiet day - we had breakfast with Jocelyn's parents, Jack and Martha Gruber, and David finally got to meet them. Later, I was able to help Martha make up the bouquets for the wedding, out of lovely calla lilies. Martha had been extremely busy, making various things for the wedding, including four boxwood-covered pillars that supported the letters L-O-V-E, which were to be background for the wedding. There were Welcome bags containing home-made cookies as well as other goodies for each guest, ribbon streamers to wave as part of hte wedding, heart fans, etc. all in the wedding colours of white, black and apple green. Other family started to arrive during the day and by that evening we had a large dinner party going in the restaurant at the hotel - 20 adults at least and several children. It was a pleasure for us to start meeting Jocelyn's family, especially her 93-year-old grandmother, Fidelis, as bright as you could wish to be at that age.
Saturday was quite a day! The weather was perfect - sunny and hot. We started with breakfast at 8:00, then a rehearsal outside on the lawn about 9:30. Various objects were called into service to stand for the real thing, much like a pick-up hockey game and we went through our paces for later in the day. Pete and Jocelyn looked great and were so happy to finally be there and practicing for the 'main event'. After the rehearsal, there was a surprise lingerie shower for Jocelyn in her parents' suite - ended with a fabulous 'movie' set of long, black sheer wrap, bordered with black maribou feathers, black maribou-covered mules and a short black lace gown. Quite the ensemble ! I had my rest until 1:00 and then David and I went down for some lunch to keep us going - and who was on the elevator but his sister and brother and their spouses, who had just driven over from Chatham for the wedding! So - we all went for lunch and had a good visit. Shortly after 2:00 I realized that I still had to get dressed, so we dashed back to our room and got ourselves 'rigged out'. I was looking forward so much to wearing this fabulous dress that I had found and it just looked great. David wore his tux, as were all the other men in the wedding party. We made it to the lobby for 2:40 or so and were just in time to walk out to the wedding site on the lawn. It had been transformed - white folding chairs, the boxwood pillars and letters as a backdrop to the event, a white runner between the rows of chairs, flowers, etc. - looked fabulous; behind it all was the river, sparkling blue in the sunshine and all the boating activity of a summer Saturday afternoon. Steve had brought me a new oxygen converter, which meant that I didn't have to use the big, heavy tanks that I had been using when I was outside and this was a huge improvement for me. It is a small 'box' on wheels and can run on a battery for 5 - 6 hours at at time.
The wedding started on time - we were escorted in by Pete and then the bridesmaid, matron of honour, flower children (Lily's green tutu dress arrived from the seamstress in Utah at 12:20 that afternoon), ring bearer (berrier, accoding to Clay) and then the bride her self, wearing a gorgeous 'mermaid' style dress - strapless and fitted to just above her knees but then flared out into a fabulous, swishy 'tail' of several yards of fabric. Pete and groomsmen were all in black tuxes with black vests, except for Pete's which was white. Jocelyn was sporting black shoes, to keep with the colour scheme too, but we didn't see much of then because of the big skirt. Everything went well for the ceremony and it was done in a lovely and heartfelt way. It was obvious to all that the two of them meant every word they said to each other and their vows were blessed by tears.
Pictures were done on the spot - there was a large old brick building at the edge of the hotel lawn and that was the backdrop. So, people just scattered on the lawn and enjoyed the cocktail bar and hors d'oeuvres which were being passed around until they were called for their turn in the 'picture gallery'. Clay and Jackson, ring bearer and flower bearer, amused themselves in the reflections from the hotel windows, trying their hats at various angles and the rest of us amused ourselves watching them. The only really bad thing that happened at the wedding happened to the photographer, Kip - someone stole his equipment suitcase just before the ceremony started. It was sitting on the bar table and apparently someone just walked up and took off with it. He had switched cameras and was able to continue taking pictures - most of us didn't realize that it had happened until that evening. His equipment is all insured; what he wants back are the pictures in the cameras - many of which they were able to re-stage Sunday afternoon.
By 5:00 it was pretty hot outside, so we went inside to the reception and air conditioning. It continued to be a most enjoyable evening and I was pleased that I was able to stay for the whole meal as well as the speeches and some of the early dancing. I even got to dance a bit with my husband and with Pete, the groom. I am enjoying my returning health so much and one of the best reasons is that I can do some of the 'normal' things again. I was able to stay until 9;30 or so and felt very good about that. The party went much later but I didn't miss anything important.
Sunday morning saw a big family brunch at 10:30, which we all enjoyed. The two families really got along well together and that was one of the nicest parts of the whole event. It was a case of putting faces and personalities to names that had been heard and getting a sense of what the 'other family' would be like for each marrying child. We both were pleased and felt that they would be well looked after. At the end of the day, after everyone else had left, David and I had supper with Martha and Jack and Pete and Jocelyn. We went to an Italian restaurant right in the RenCen (Renaissance Center) in downtown Detroit, whcih also gave us a good view of the RiverFest going on that weekend. It was a lovely ending to a wonderful weekend.
Monday, after breakfast together with the same people, we left and came home through Windsor, where I had a chest x-ray at the hospital. We were able to visit with David's brother, sister and spouses as well as my sister for the next few days as well as Steve and Kristen and crew. David had his last Board meeting of the year on Tuesday night - a marathon which saw him returning home at midnight. I'm not sure that I ever really unpacked!
Wedding # 2 - Mike and Lian
Thursday saw the exodus begin to Kitchener-Waterloo, although I guess Amy actually left Wednesday and others didn't leave until Friday. We got up there in time to go out for dinner that night with Amy and Mike and Lian at a most interesting Brazilian Grill House restaurant. Besides a salad bar, you are offered tastes of 8 different kinds of meat, all brought to the table on a sword. Once you have tasted them all, you can choose more of the ones that you like. Nothing topped dessert though - a whole pineapple, also on a sword, roasted over the grill like the meat, seasoned with cinnamon and brown sugar. We were pleased to help finish off the one they brought to our table.
Friday was a quiet day for most of us until the rehearsal at 4:00. The ceremony and the recpetion were also going to be in the same venue for this wedding and I must say, it makes it much simpler for all concerned. The venue was another of the industrial sites being reclaimed in downtown Kitchener - The Tannery - which is what it used to be. Lots of old brick, exposed venting and pipes, but very clean and charming - a lot like the condo that Mike bought several years ago! The caterers were busy setting up the tables and chairs when we got there, so we could see how it was going to be. Guests would be seated at their tables for the reception when they arrived, there would be several rows of chairs for the family during the ceremony with an aisle in the middle leading to a clear space in front of the head table where the ceremony itself would take place. Mike and Lian were going to be married by David's brother Dan, a minister from British Columbia, who had a one-time licence to do this service in Ontario. So - rehearsal went smoothly and we retired to the rehearsal supper, being catered at Mike and Lian's condo building on the rooftop garden.
This turned into quite an event - the weather was excellent, the food was unique, and at the end of the evening, several hot-air balloons were seen, which the kids loved. For food, there was catered food from a northern Thai restaurant, sushi and sashimi from a Japanese restaurant, chicken wings, Lian's father's signature duck meat salad, special 'rosette'-style cookies, beef curry, mango salad and, of course, lots of sticky rice to fill in the gaps. We had all of our family there - aunts, uncles, siblings, spouses and children and most of Lian's famliy too, plus the wedding party of friends, so it was a large and happy group. Once again, both families enjoy being together and we had a pleasant evening.
Saturday was as busy but not as scheduled as the previous week. Lian had a hairdresser and two make-up artists at the condo and I had booked in to get my hair done, so my sister got me over there for 10:00 or so. The place looked like a flower shop - there was a florist there making 12 table centrepieces, the centrepiece for the head table, bouquets for the bridesmaids, boutonnieres for the groomsmen - I don't know how she got them all done but they looked fabulous. There was even time to get hot apple fritters from the St. Jacob's market when the trip was made to get Lian's bouquet. I knew I had to rest, so I had to leave about 12:00 to go back to the hotel.
We stopped on the way - it was now raining heavily - and bought some yogurt and other snack-type foods that I could use for a lunch as well as some nylons, because it was getting fairly cool and my dress was light. (A lovely ivory silk, with magenta, purple and greenish flowers, kind of water-coloured onto it.) I couldn't remember the last time that I bought nylons - has to have been years. But I got back in time and had a good rest and then started getting ready. We were both decked out and ready to go by 3:30 and headed over to The Tannery, just 5 -6 blocks away.
Fortunately, it had stopped raining by the time we were going there, so we got in without incident and went and sat down - turned out that the chairs were mostly for our side of the famoily because we didn't have a table - it would be brought in after the wedding. Things seemed well under control and everyone was pretty calm, even Mike. Guests were still arriving after 4:00 but eventually we got under way - probably about 4:15, which isn't too bad. We were escorted to our seats by Mike and then the rest of wedding party followed. Lian had made the dresses for the three bridesmaids and maid of honour, as well as one for the 'groomslady' with Mike. Colours were purple and ivory. Other groomsmen were in tuxes with a lovely gray tapestry vest. Clay and Warren were in tiny tuxes, too and Lily, as flower girl, had a lovely ivory floor-length lace dress, so everyone was 'lookin good'! Finally, it was time for the bride - who had made her dress too - lovely ivory silk with appliqued lace flower panels, strapless and fitted to about the knees and then flared out in the back to a big, poufy train - and dad Chat, looking so proud in his tux as well. (For those who wouldn't know, Lian's beloved mother, Khem, passed away in March 2009, afer a short and unpleasant battle with pancreatic cancer.) The wedding proceeded smoothly except for one part, which Mike will continue to hear about. He didn't wait long enough when it came time for the first vow and responded with a heart-felt "I will" when Dan said, " Mike will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife..." it made everyone laugh and set the tone for an informal, comfortable mood for the rest of the wedding.
When it came time for the recpetion, one of the highlughts was when Lian changed into her Thai wedding dress, She had bought the material in Thailand when they were there in November. It was a lovely ivory and gold silk, top and skirt and it was so nice to have this additional cultural element to the wedding. Mike changed into an ivory jacket and they looked wonderful together. We were able to get some pictures with them, which I am looking forward to seeing. Then they changed back again into their original wedding garments when it was time for the toasts and other parts of the reception. I particularly enjoyed the toasts of the groomsmen, including one from Mike's former housemate, Brian, who could not attend. It's always interesting to hear remarks about one of your children from those who have lived with them and know them well. Granted, it was his wedding and they were going to be polite, but you can still get a pretty good idea. We were able to stay for part of the social time but left between the bride's bouquet toss and the groom's garter toss - apparently a good decision, from what I heard later! Although Clay was wearing the garter as a belt when I saw him the next day, so I don't know how that all happened.
Sunday morning, we met at the hotel dining room at 11:30 for a brunch together before everyone started to leave. My sister Carol had already left, as she was driving back to Ottawa via Kingston, but we had breakfast together before she went. We sat with David's sister, brother and spouses and had a nice time just being together. We never know when we will have the chance again - British Columbia and Minnesota and not next door to Ontario. Then it was time to break it up and everyone left to check out and leave. Once again, we were staying until Monday, but everyone else was leaving at some point Sunday.
I heard that Pete and Jocelyn were going to go over to Amy's to do a laundry, so I hitched a ride with them - David was going to catch up on his sleep. I wanted to have more time with them because I never know when I will see them again, either. It turned out very well in the long run, because Steve and Kristen arrived with their crew, Pete and Jocelyn decided to stay longer and we all went out for supper together - and unexpected bonus. About 7:00 p.m., Pete and Jocelyn headed for Detroit so that they could make their 6:15 a.m. flight to St. Lucia the next day and Steve and Kristen left for Niagara Falls, to have a few tourist days before they return to Chatham later this week. Amy will join them Monday. Mike and Lian are also in the Grimsby/Vineland area for their honeymoon.
Finally, we loaded up all our stuff Monday morning - well, closer to Monday noon - drove over to Amy's for a short visit and picked up the two dogs and headed peacefully for home, happy to have been a part of two such wonderful events and full to the brim with family time and love. I was also so thankful that I was well enough to participate so much and to bring the blessing of my improving health to my children and husband and sister , who have been through so much with me this spring. God has been so good. Thank you all for all your prayers for all of us through this wonderful time.
Wedding # 1 - Pete and Jocelyn
We left for Detroit on Thursday, June 17, in order to celebrate our own 43rd anniversary that night before all the other festivites and had a lovely dinner at a restaurant just a half-block from the hotel. Friday was a quiet day - we had breakfast with Jocelyn's parents, Jack and Martha Gruber, and David finally got to meet them. Later, I was able to help Martha make up the bouquets for the wedding, out of lovely calla lilies. Martha had been extremely busy, making various things for the wedding, including four boxwood-covered pillars that supported the letters L-O-V-E, which were to be background for the wedding. There were Welcome bags containing home-made cookies as well as other goodies for each guest, ribbon streamers to wave as part of hte wedding, heart fans, etc. all in the wedding colours of white, black and apple green. Other family started to arrive during the day and by that evening we had a large dinner party going in the restaurant at the hotel - 20 adults at least and several children. It was a pleasure for us to start meeting Jocelyn's family, especially her 93-year-old grandmother, Fidelis, as bright as you could wish to be at that age.
Saturday was quite a day! The weather was perfect - sunny and hot. We started with breakfast at 8:00, then a rehearsal outside on the lawn about 9:30. Various objects were called into service to stand for the real thing, much like a pick-up hockey game and we went through our paces for later in the day. Pete and Jocelyn looked great and were so happy to finally be there and practicing for the 'main event'. After the rehearsal, there was a surprise lingerie shower for Jocelyn in her parents' suite - ended with a fabulous 'movie' set of long, black sheer wrap, bordered with black maribou feathers, black maribou-covered mules and a short black lace gown. Quite the ensemble ! I had my rest until 1:00 and then David and I went down for some lunch to keep us going - and who was on the elevator but his sister and brother and their spouses, who had just driven over from Chatham for the wedding! So - we all went for lunch and had a good visit. Shortly after 2:00 I realized that I still had to get dressed, so we dashed back to our room and got ourselves 'rigged out'. I was looking forward so much to wearing this fabulous dress that I had found and it just looked great. David wore his tux, as were all the other men in the wedding party. We made it to the lobby for 2:40 or so and were just in time to walk out to the wedding site on the lawn. It had been transformed - white folding chairs, the boxwood pillars and letters as a backdrop to the event, a white runner between the rows of chairs, flowers, etc. - looked fabulous; behind it all was the river, sparkling blue in the sunshine and all the boating activity of a summer Saturday afternoon. Steve had brought me a new oxygen converter, which meant that I didn't have to use the big, heavy tanks that I had been using when I was outside and this was a huge improvement for me. It is a small 'box' on wheels and can run on a battery for 5 - 6 hours at at time.
The wedding started on time - we were escorted in by Pete and then the bridesmaid, matron of honour, flower children (Lily's green tutu dress arrived from the seamstress in Utah at 12:20 that afternoon), ring bearer (berrier, accoding to Clay) and then the bride her self, wearing a gorgeous 'mermaid' style dress - strapless and fitted to just above her knees but then flared out into a fabulous, swishy 'tail' of several yards of fabric. Pete and groomsmen were all in black tuxes with black vests, except for Pete's which was white. Jocelyn was sporting black shoes, to keep with the colour scheme too, but we didn't see much of then because of the big skirt. Everything went well for the ceremony and it was done in a lovely and heartfelt way. It was obvious to all that the two of them meant every word they said to each other and their vows were blessed by tears.
Pictures were done on the spot - there was a large old brick building at the edge of the hotel lawn and that was the backdrop. So, people just scattered on the lawn and enjoyed the cocktail bar and hors d'oeuvres which were being passed around until they were called for their turn in the 'picture gallery'. Clay and Jackson, ring bearer and flower bearer, amused themselves in the reflections from the hotel windows, trying their hats at various angles and the rest of us amused ourselves watching them. The only really bad thing that happened at the wedding happened to the photographer, Kip - someone stole his equipment suitcase just before the ceremony started. It was sitting on the bar table and apparently someone just walked up and took off with it. He had switched cameras and was able to continue taking pictures - most of us didn't realize that it had happened until that evening. His equipment is all insured; what he wants back are the pictures in the cameras - many of which they were able to re-stage Sunday afternoon.
By 5:00 it was pretty hot outside, so we went inside to the reception and air conditioning. It continued to be a most enjoyable evening and I was pleased that I was able to stay for the whole meal as well as the speeches and some of the early dancing. I even got to dance a bit with my husband and with Pete, the groom. I am enjoying my returning health so much and one of the best reasons is that I can do some of the 'normal' things again. I was able to stay until 9;30 or so and felt very good about that. The party went much later but I didn't miss anything important.
Sunday morning saw a big family brunch at 10:30, which we all enjoyed. The two families really got along well together and that was one of the nicest parts of the whole event. It was a case of putting faces and personalities to names that had been heard and getting a sense of what the 'other family' would be like for each marrying child. We both were pleased and felt that they would be well looked after. At the end of the day, after everyone else had left, David and I had supper with Martha and Jack and Pete and Jocelyn. We went to an Italian restaurant right in the RenCen (Renaissance Center) in downtown Detroit, whcih also gave us a good view of the RiverFest going on that weekend. It was a lovely ending to a wonderful weekend.
Monday, after breakfast together with the same people, we left and came home through Windsor, where I had a chest x-ray at the hospital. We were able to visit with David's brother, sister and spouses as well as my sister for the next few days as well as Steve and Kristen and crew. David had his last Board meeting of the year on Tuesday night - a marathon which saw him returning home at midnight. I'm not sure that I ever really unpacked!
Wedding # 2 - Mike and Lian
Thursday saw the exodus begin to Kitchener-Waterloo, although I guess Amy actually left Wednesday and others didn't leave until Friday. We got up there in time to go out for dinner that night with Amy and Mike and Lian at a most interesting Brazilian Grill House restaurant. Besides a salad bar, you are offered tastes of 8 different kinds of meat, all brought to the table on a sword. Once you have tasted them all, you can choose more of the ones that you like. Nothing topped dessert though - a whole pineapple, also on a sword, roasted over the grill like the meat, seasoned with cinnamon and brown sugar. We were pleased to help finish off the one they brought to our table.
Friday was a quiet day for most of us until the rehearsal at 4:00. The ceremony and the recpetion were also going to be in the same venue for this wedding and I must say, it makes it much simpler for all concerned. The venue was another of the industrial sites being reclaimed in downtown Kitchener - The Tannery - which is what it used to be. Lots of old brick, exposed venting and pipes, but very clean and charming - a lot like the condo that Mike bought several years ago! The caterers were busy setting up the tables and chairs when we got there, so we could see how it was going to be. Guests would be seated at their tables for the reception when they arrived, there would be several rows of chairs for the family during the ceremony with an aisle in the middle leading to a clear space in front of the head table where the ceremony itself would take place. Mike and Lian were going to be married by David's brother Dan, a minister from British Columbia, who had a one-time licence to do this service in Ontario. So - rehearsal went smoothly and we retired to the rehearsal supper, being catered at Mike and Lian's condo building on the rooftop garden.
This turned into quite an event - the weather was excellent, the food was unique, and at the end of the evening, several hot-air balloons were seen, which the kids loved. For food, there was catered food from a northern Thai restaurant, sushi and sashimi from a Japanese restaurant, chicken wings, Lian's father's signature duck meat salad, special 'rosette'-style cookies, beef curry, mango salad and, of course, lots of sticky rice to fill in the gaps. We had all of our family there - aunts, uncles, siblings, spouses and children and most of Lian's famliy too, plus the wedding party of friends, so it was a large and happy group. Once again, both families enjoy being together and we had a pleasant evening.
Saturday was as busy but not as scheduled as the previous week. Lian had a hairdresser and two make-up artists at the condo and I had booked in to get my hair done, so my sister got me over there for 10:00 or so. The place looked like a flower shop - there was a florist there making 12 table centrepieces, the centrepiece for the head table, bouquets for the bridesmaids, boutonnieres for the groomsmen - I don't know how she got them all done but they looked fabulous. There was even time to get hot apple fritters from the St. Jacob's market when the trip was made to get Lian's bouquet. I knew I had to rest, so I had to leave about 12:00 to go back to the hotel.
We stopped on the way - it was now raining heavily - and bought some yogurt and other snack-type foods that I could use for a lunch as well as some nylons, because it was getting fairly cool and my dress was light. (A lovely ivory silk, with magenta, purple and greenish flowers, kind of water-coloured onto it.) I couldn't remember the last time that I bought nylons - has to have been years. But I got back in time and had a good rest and then started getting ready. We were both decked out and ready to go by 3:30 and headed over to The Tannery, just 5 -6 blocks away.
Fortunately, it had stopped raining by the time we were going there, so we got in without incident and went and sat down - turned out that the chairs were mostly for our side of the famoily because we didn't have a table - it would be brought in after the wedding. Things seemed well under control and everyone was pretty calm, even Mike. Guests were still arriving after 4:00 but eventually we got under way - probably about 4:15, which isn't too bad. We were escorted to our seats by Mike and then the rest of wedding party followed. Lian had made the dresses for the three bridesmaids and maid of honour, as well as one for the 'groomslady' with Mike. Colours were purple and ivory. Other groomsmen were in tuxes with a lovely gray tapestry vest. Clay and Warren were in tiny tuxes, too and Lily, as flower girl, had a lovely ivory floor-length lace dress, so everyone was 'lookin good'! Finally, it was time for the bride - who had made her dress too - lovely ivory silk with appliqued lace flower panels, strapless and fitted to about the knees and then flared out in the back to a big, poufy train - and dad Chat, looking so proud in his tux as well. (For those who wouldn't know, Lian's beloved mother, Khem, passed away in March 2009, afer a short and unpleasant battle with pancreatic cancer.) The wedding proceeded smoothly except for one part, which Mike will continue to hear about. He didn't wait long enough when it came time for the first vow and responded with a heart-felt "I will" when Dan said, " Mike will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife..." it made everyone laugh and set the tone for an informal, comfortable mood for the rest of the wedding.
When it came time for the recpetion, one of the highlughts was when Lian changed into her Thai wedding dress, She had bought the material in Thailand when they were there in November. It was a lovely ivory and gold silk, top and skirt and it was so nice to have this additional cultural element to the wedding. Mike changed into an ivory jacket and they looked wonderful together. We were able to get some pictures with them, which I am looking forward to seeing. Then they changed back again into their original wedding garments when it was time for the toasts and other parts of the reception. I particularly enjoyed the toasts of the groomsmen, including one from Mike's former housemate, Brian, who could not attend. It's always interesting to hear remarks about one of your children from those who have lived with them and know them well. Granted, it was his wedding and they were going to be polite, but you can still get a pretty good idea. We were able to stay for part of the social time but left between the bride's bouquet toss and the groom's garter toss - apparently a good decision, from what I heard later! Although Clay was wearing the garter as a belt when I saw him the next day, so I don't know how that all happened.
Sunday morning, we met at the hotel dining room at 11:30 for a brunch together before everyone started to leave. My sister Carol had already left, as she was driving back to Ottawa via Kingston, but we had breakfast together before she went. We sat with David's sister, brother and spouses and had a nice time just being together. We never know when we will have the chance again - British Columbia and Minnesota and not next door to Ontario. Then it was time to break it up and everyone left to check out and leave. Once again, we were staying until Monday, but everyone else was leaving at some point Sunday.
I heard that Pete and Jocelyn were going to go over to Amy's to do a laundry, so I hitched a ride with them - David was going to catch up on his sleep. I wanted to have more time with them because I never know when I will see them again, either. It turned out very well in the long run, because Steve and Kristen arrived with their crew, Pete and Jocelyn decided to stay longer and we all went out for supper together - and unexpected bonus. About 7:00 p.m., Pete and Jocelyn headed for Detroit so that they could make their 6:15 a.m. flight to St. Lucia the next day and Steve and Kristen left for Niagara Falls, to have a few tourist days before they return to Chatham later this week. Amy will join them Monday. Mike and Lian are also in the Grimsby/Vineland area for their honeymoon.
Finally, we loaded up all our stuff Monday morning - well, closer to Monday noon - drove over to Amy's for a short visit and picked up the two dogs and headed peacefully for home, happy to have been a part of two such wonderful events and full to the brim with family time and love. I was also so thankful that I was well enough to participate so much and to bring the blessing of my improving health to my children and husband and sister , who have been through so much with me this spring. God has been so good. Thank you all for all your prayers for all of us through this wonderful time.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Update - June 15, 2010
Good morning - kind of overcast here today and rain is expected for tomorrow but all indications are that Saturday will be warm and sunny for the first wedding! For the Texas crowd a day in the 80's will be a welcome cooling off from the weeks of 95's that they have been experiencing.
Chemo yesterday went very well - done by 10:30 or so. I was able to walk both into and out of the chemo lab - no wheelchair, as I had been doing when I started in May. This would be a distance of several hundred feet and I see it as another little measure of my general improvement and returning strength. I am so thankful. The actual dose of chemo is 6 ml. If it proves effective against the cancer, I may be on it for some time, but we'll see how that develops.
We also had a very encouraging talk with the supervising doctor in the chemo lab yesterday. I told him about my CT experience in Windsor and he felt the bump again - told me it didn't feel like cancer to him, just a 'bone growth' - osteo.....something. He also told us that if the cancer seems to be 'retreating', as mine seems to be from the radiation at least, that it will not likely spread to other sites, like brain, liver, etc. That was excellent news to us and I was especially cheered since I have found it difficult not to assume that every new twinge or pain is an indication of the cancer spreading somewhere else. There are now always two voices in my head debating whether or not it is spreading - a sore elbow could be bone cancer...or just a pinched nerve. I think it is because the original cancer kind of sneaks up on you that you are never sure that it's not going to jump on you again somewhere else. You tell yourself not to be so negative but the other little voice says. "Yes, but...". Anyhow - this will help with all of that mental wondering and I was very glad to hear it.
Today is the last quiet day before the wedding schedule takes over - manicures, laundry, hair appointments, packing (trying not to take my entire wardrobe), ordering enough oxygen tanks, etc. It's going to be a lot of fun ! I am feeling really well and am so thankful that I will be able to participate in these celebrations with enthusiasm.
May God be with you today in whatever you are doing. Thank you again for your prayers and loving concern. I am happy to tell you that I am feeling so much better.
Chemo yesterday went very well - done by 10:30 or so. I was able to walk both into and out of the chemo lab - no wheelchair, as I had been doing when I started in May. This would be a distance of several hundred feet and I see it as another little measure of my general improvement and returning strength. I am so thankful. The actual dose of chemo is 6 ml. If it proves effective against the cancer, I may be on it for some time, but we'll see how that develops.
We also had a very encouraging talk with the supervising doctor in the chemo lab yesterday. I told him about my CT experience in Windsor and he felt the bump again - told me it didn't feel like cancer to him, just a 'bone growth' - osteo.....something. He also told us that if the cancer seems to be 'retreating', as mine seems to be from the radiation at least, that it will not likely spread to other sites, like brain, liver, etc. That was excellent news to us and I was especially cheered since I have found it difficult not to assume that every new twinge or pain is an indication of the cancer spreading somewhere else. There are now always two voices in my head debating whether or not it is spreading - a sore elbow could be bone cancer...or just a pinched nerve. I think it is because the original cancer kind of sneaks up on you that you are never sure that it's not going to jump on you again somewhere else. You tell yourself not to be so negative but the other little voice says. "Yes, but...". Anyhow - this will help with all of that mental wondering and I was very glad to hear it.
Today is the last quiet day before the wedding schedule takes over - manicures, laundry, hair appointments, packing (trying not to take my entire wardrobe), ordering enough oxygen tanks, etc. It's going to be a lot of fun ! I am feeling really well and am so thankful that I will be able to participate in these celebrations with enthusiasm.
May God be with you today in whatever you are doing. Thank you again for your prayers and loving concern. I am happy to tell you that I am feeling so much better.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Update - June 12, 2010
It's a lovely, quiet Saturday morning here - I'm the only one up and the house is peaceful. I'm thinking about putting on the air conditioning before things heat up, since today is forecast to be the hottest and most humid one we've had so far this year. I have found that humidity can really affect my breathing ability.
Well, chemo went well this past Monday - nothing much to it. We had had a quiet weekend with my sister coming for a visit from Ottawa and I was ready to return to the chemo routine. I almost forget about it - have to remind myself the night before. We were a little longer this time - 8:45 - 10:30 or so - not bad at all. The chemo medication comes in a little syringe - about 2 tablespoons of fluid - and it is injected into the IV line that is already attached to my port. I continue to pray that the cancer will respond to it and that it will have the desired effects of slowing and/or stopping the growth of this cancer.
Tuesday, we went to Windsor for the 'ultrasound-guided needle biopsy' of the bump on my head. This did not go as expected. The ultrasound did not show as clear a picture as the radiologist M.D. wanted before doing the needle biopsy, so a CT scan of my head was arranged. Of course, this involved another hour or two of waiting, but at least it was in familiar surroundings. After the CT scan had been read, the radiologist came and told me that the biopsy was not necessary any more - "we can see well enough what's going on in there with the CT scan". This was delivered in the hall of the hospital as well as a message that my oncologist would clarify it with me. So - we were all upset - what could it mean? Spent a few hours in mental turmoil. But we went out for lunch, and while in the restaurant I was reminded by that quiet inner voice of the verse which says "God has not given us a spirit of fear..." and I was able to return to a place of mental peace. We have not heard anything further and I am operating on the philosophy that 'no news is good news' The longer it takes to hear something, the less serious it will be. So we are just going on with our lives and getting ready for these weddings! The first one is a week from today. Later today I go to get my dresses and things will seem even more real and exciting, once they are hanging in the closet.
My breathing continues to improve - I have spent several nights sleeping without my oxygen and can be without it for several hours at a time during the day if I am not too active - like typing out my blog! I have had it off for over an hour this morning as I have been doing this and it feels very good not to have the cannula on my face all the time. I still have a lot of coughing at times but we had recorded to conversation with the radiologist when we talked about doing the radiation and he mentioned that my esophagus would be inflamed from the radiation and I would have a lot of coughing and difficulty swallowing as a result. I had forgotten that part in the excitement of having my breathing improve so much.
Well, I think that's it for today - hope your day goes well and that you are aware of God's presence and blessing with you as you go about your lives.
Well, chemo went well this past Monday - nothing much to it. We had had a quiet weekend with my sister coming for a visit from Ottawa and I was ready to return to the chemo routine. I almost forget about it - have to remind myself the night before. We were a little longer this time - 8:45 - 10:30 or so - not bad at all. The chemo medication comes in a little syringe - about 2 tablespoons of fluid - and it is injected into the IV line that is already attached to my port. I continue to pray that the cancer will respond to it and that it will have the desired effects of slowing and/or stopping the growth of this cancer.
Tuesday, we went to Windsor for the 'ultrasound-guided needle biopsy' of the bump on my head. This did not go as expected. The ultrasound did not show as clear a picture as the radiologist M.D. wanted before doing the needle biopsy, so a CT scan of my head was arranged. Of course, this involved another hour or two of waiting, but at least it was in familiar surroundings. After the CT scan had been read, the radiologist came and told me that the biopsy was not necessary any more - "we can see well enough what's going on in there with the CT scan". This was delivered in the hall of the hospital as well as a message that my oncologist would clarify it with me. So - we were all upset - what could it mean? Spent a few hours in mental turmoil. But we went out for lunch, and while in the restaurant I was reminded by that quiet inner voice of the verse which says "God has not given us a spirit of fear..." and I was able to return to a place of mental peace. We have not heard anything further and I am operating on the philosophy that 'no news is good news' The longer it takes to hear something, the less serious it will be. So we are just going on with our lives and getting ready for these weddings! The first one is a week from today. Later today I go to get my dresses and things will seem even more real and exciting, once they are hanging in the closet.
My breathing continues to improve - I have spent several nights sleeping without my oxygen and can be without it for several hours at a time during the day if I am not too active - like typing out my blog! I have had it off for over an hour this morning as I have been doing this and it feels very good not to have the cannula on my face all the time. I still have a lot of coughing at times but we had recorded to conversation with the radiologist when we talked about doing the radiation and he mentioned that my esophagus would be inflamed from the radiation and I would have a lot of coughing and difficulty swallowing as a result. I had forgotten that part in the excitement of having my breathing improve so much.
Well, I think that's it for today - hope your day goes well and that you are aware of God's presence and blessing with you as you go about your lives.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Update - June 3, 2010
Good morning - I thought I'd better remind everyone that this is my week off from chemo; nothing happening with that now until next Monday. It's two weekly treatments and then a week off; that's considered one cycle. I will have at least 6 cycles, if it works. Next Tuesday, I have an appointment for an ultrasound-guided needle biopsy of the lump on my head. I am quite anxious about that but there's nothing to be done except wait. I've found that since I started this journey, every physical twinge sends me thinking about the cancer spreading - is it or not? Sometimes you just have to turn your mind away from that and choose not to think about it. That may be a kind of 'ostrich' manouevre but it saves on emotional wear and tear and useless output of energy.
I continue to feel better and to be able to do more. Last Saturday, another group of 'garden elves' came to work on my big flower bed in the middle of the front lawn. My oxygen hose wasn't long enough to get out there, so after fussing on the front porch for a while, I just took it off, hauled a picnic cooler out for a place to sit, and visited with them as they worked. I was able to go without oxygen for almost two hours, which felt good. Several days later, in the evening, I was able to get the garden hose out, water the flowers in the front bed and put it back. I got tangled up with my oxygen hose once or twice, but David didn't laugh at me and let me sort it out for myself. It feels so good to be able to do some of these things again. Made a fruit salad for dessert Monday night when we had company, got supper ready to cook last night - still in the game.
My sister is driving here from Ottawa today and we will have a couple of days together; she'll be back again for the weddings in a couple of weeks.
So - that's about all the news for now - I'll bring you up to date again next week after I've had the biopsy and stuff.
God bless -
I continue to feel better and to be able to do more. Last Saturday, another group of 'garden elves' came to work on my big flower bed in the middle of the front lawn. My oxygen hose wasn't long enough to get out there, so after fussing on the front porch for a while, I just took it off, hauled a picnic cooler out for a place to sit, and visited with them as they worked. I was able to go without oxygen for almost two hours, which felt good. Several days later, in the evening, I was able to get the garden hose out, water the flowers in the front bed and put it back. I got tangled up with my oxygen hose once or twice, but David didn't laugh at me and let me sort it out for myself. It feels so good to be able to do some of these things again. Made a fruit salad for dessert Monday night when we had company, got supper ready to cook last night - still in the game.
My sister is driving here from Ottawa today and we will have a couple of days together; she'll be back again for the weddings in a couple of weeks.
So - that's about all the news for now - I'll bring you up to date again next week after I've had the biopsy and stuff.
God bless -
Friday, May 28, 2010
Update - May 28, 2010
Good morning - lovely day promised here in southern Ontario - hope you are looking at a similar one wherever you are.
My second chemo took place on Tuesday of this week - went much better than the first time. We were there 8:30 - 9:50 and everything went smoothly. I had a good talk with the supervising doctor who reassured me that my heart rate (over 100) is still within normal range, and I am not going to 'blow up' some day. I have been having a lot of trouble with coughing, too, and he advised me to double up on my GERD medication to help with that. Apparently I have a hiatal hernia but the surgical repair for that is not possible for me now. We went shopping afterwards and out for lunch, so it was a nice day.
Wednesday, we were in Windsor at the cancer centre again to see my oncologist. I was happy to be able to tell her that I have noticed a significant improvement in my breathing for about a week - I can go without my oxygen for 30 min. or so if I am just being quiet. She listened to my lungs and agreed - much better air return in the right lung! So, I guess the radiation is having a good effect, since it would be about 10 days before that I finished that. Possibly even the medication from Dallas - who knows? I am just enjoying it and the beneficial effects - I am more energetic, can eat better, can move better, etc. So interesting to see just how totally your body depends on its oxygen supply - you think it's the food you eat, and up to a point it is, but without oxygen, nothing works.
I have developed a lump on the top of my head which is going to have a needle biopsy some time in the next two weeks. Lots of possibilities, most of which make me nervous, but at least it is on the outside of my head. Because I had so many lymph glands that were 'positive' at my surgery, the cancer can move anywhere in my body. Breast cancer can move to lungs, liver, bones and/or brain. It's the brain part that bothers me because I would like to stay 'myself' throughout this experience. My dad's prostate cancer traveled to his brain and he went blind the last few months of his life as well as some other issues. But he was still there most of the time, so I guess I won't try to scare myself too much with all of that. I am just hoping that I won't have to have a big shaved spot on my head right before the weddings!
Also, last Saturday Amy, Lian and I went dress shopping in LaSalle for dresses for the two weddings. I was able to find two dresses and a pair of shoes that will go with both of them in just over an hour - more oxygen = more energy ! I am very pleased with both of them - I don't want to look 'invalid-y' - just make my boys proud of their mom at their weddings. I think I will be able to do that. They have done so much to make sure that I could be part of their celebrations.
There are so many people who are kind to me - I love my flower beds in the summer but can't plant them so well this year. I went and bought the flowers for the big one right in front of the house and a group of friends from church came over and planted the whole bed in an hour ! It looks so good and when I sit on the front porch, one of my favourite places, it is lovely to look at. Lian is out there watering them daily. I am such a wuss these days that I can hardly haul the hose out far enough to do that. When I think of what I was doing this time last year, it can get pretty frustrating, but then I just have to be glad that I am still here.
My pastor can over to visit the other day and read me some of the Psalms of David, in which he prayed for deliverance from his enemies. It's so interesting how those words apply to how I feel - I find myself praying the words from Ps. 57 - 59 - "deliver me from this enemy who seeks to destroy me!"
Thank you to those of you who continue to send me lovely cards with such encouraging messages - I appreciate each one. They come from people I wouldn't always expect and sometimes have messages about things that I have done that I don't remember (good things!) but that they do - you never know what other people are noticing. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has just been one big 'seeding' operation and now the 'crop' is being returned. It can be pretty encouraging.
"Don't worry over anything whatever (!); tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God, which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7
May God's peace be with you today.
My second chemo took place on Tuesday of this week - went much better than the first time. We were there 8:30 - 9:50 and everything went smoothly. I had a good talk with the supervising doctor who reassured me that my heart rate (over 100) is still within normal range, and I am not going to 'blow up' some day. I have been having a lot of trouble with coughing, too, and he advised me to double up on my GERD medication to help with that. Apparently I have a hiatal hernia but the surgical repair for that is not possible for me now. We went shopping afterwards and out for lunch, so it was a nice day.
Wednesday, we were in Windsor at the cancer centre again to see my oncologist. I was happy to be able to tell her that I have noticed a significant improvement in my breathing for about a week - I can go without my oxygen for 30 min. or so if I am just being quiet. She listened to my lungs and agreed - much better air return in the right lung! So, I guess the radiation is having a good effect, since it would be about 10 days before that I finished that. Possibly even the medication from Dallas - who knows? I am just enjoying it and the beneficial effects - I am more energetic, can eat better, can move better, etc. So interesting to see just how totally your body depends on its oxygen supply - you think it's the food you eat, and up to a point it is, but without oxygen, nothing works.
I have developed a lump on the top of my head which is going to have a needle biopsy some time in the next two weeks. Lots of possibilities, most of which make me nervous, but at least it is on the outside of my head. Because I had so many lymph glands that were 'positive' at my surgery, the cancer can move anywhere in my body. Breast cancer can move to lungs, liver, bones and/or brain. It's the brain part that bothers me because I would like to stay 'myself' throughout this experience. My dad's prostate cancer traveled to his brain and he went blind the last few months of his life as well as some other issues. But he was still there most of the time, so I guess I won't try to scare myself too much with all of that. I am just hoping that I won't have to have a big shaved spot on my head right before the weddings!
Also, last Saturday Amy, Lian and I went dress shopping in LaSalle for dresses for the two weddings. I was able to find two dresses and a pair of shoes that will go with both of them in just over an hour - more oxygen = more energy ! I am very pleased with both of them - I don't want to look 'invalid-y' - just make my boys proud of their mom at their weddings. I think I will be able to do that. They have done so much to make sure that I could be part of their celebrations.
There are so many people who are kind to me - I love my flower beds in the summer but can't plant them so well this year. I went and bought the flowers for the big one right in front of the house and a group of friends from church came over and planted the whole bed in an hour ! It looks so good and when I sit on the front porch, one of my favourite places, it is lovely to look at. Lian is out there watering them daily. I am such a wuss these days that I can hardly haul the hose out far enough to do that. When I think of what I was doing this time last year, it can get pretty frustrating, but then I just have to be glad that I am still here.
My pastor can over to visit the other day and read me some of the Psalms of David, in which he prayed for deliverance from his enemies. It's so interesting how those words apply to how I feel - I find myself praying the words from Ps. 57 - 59 - "deliver me from this enemy who seeks to destroy me!"
Thank you to those of you who continue to send me lovely cards with such encouraging messages - I appreciate each one. They come from people I wouldn't always expect and sometimes have messages about things that I have done that I don't remember (good things!) but that they do - you never know what other people are noticing. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has just been one big 'seeding' operation and now the 'crop' is being returned. It can be pretty encouraging.
"Don't worry over anything whatever (!); tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God, which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7
May God's peace be with you today.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Update - May 18, 2010
Good morning, one and all - had my first chemo in Chatham yesterday and am happy to tell you that it all went very well, if slowly. It was supposed to be a 15 min. dose, which actually took 6 min., once we got to that part. However, since it was my first time in that unit, there was a lot of introductory stuff that had to be done.
I was informed of all the side effects possible for this type of chemo and cautioned about a variety of things. I met my new supervising doctor and a new community health nurse. I came home with lots of new paper to read and a 'fever card' to use if I have to go to Emerg. with a fever over 38.5, which will help me 'jump the queue'.
I noticed on the orders for my chemo that my weight was wrong - off by about 10 kg. - and when I pointed that out, it lead to a check with my oncologist in Windsor and a new order, dispensing the chemo all over again - had to wait for that, too. You always get a saline flush of the veins before you get the chemo - takes 10 - 15 min., depending on how fast it's running, and a little rinse-out when you are done - just a minute or two.
All in all, we were there from 8:30 - 11:00 but they tell me it won't be so long next week. It's the usual start-up stuff. I felt fine all day yesterday and slept well last night; up at 7:00 as usual and have had breakfast and am doing my laundry as I write. So - pretty good, I'd say. I just hope and PRAY that the cancer responds to this chemo and that it has some effect on it, unlike the other two earlier this year.
I am really thankful for the peace of mind that I experience the majority of the time. Many of you are praying for that for me, and I thank you. It has been a lot scarier since February, when I found out that the first chemo wasn't working and I have had to make a much stronger effort to say "God is in charge and has my best interests at heart; He knows what He is doing." I am still doing everything I can to keep my body strong and to fight this thing but I am also very aware that whatever happens with the medications, etc. will be under His control. "He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord. Trust in the Lord God always, for in the Lord Jehovah is your everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3,4 So that's what I try to do and am able to, most of the time.
More rain here again last night - we are pretty well soaked. It will be nice to get some warm, sunny days again.
Wedding plans are coming along - the one being moved from Seattle to Detroit will be much simplified from the original but will still be nice. Planning is taking place in Seattle, Brazil and Chicago, thanks to Skype. The Kitchener one is also experiencing some changes but will be more like the original plans. Steve is looking for a portable condenser for me that is strong enough; I won't need so many pressurized tanks when I am out of the house.
Thanks again for your prayers. May you too experience the peace of God today by trusting in His care for you.
I was informed of all the side effects possible for this type of chemo and cautioned about a variety of things. I met my new supervising doctor and a new community health nurse. I came home with lots of new paper to read and a 'fever card' to use if I have to go to Emerg. with a fever over 38.5, which will help me 'jump the queue'.
I noticed on the orders for my chemo that my weight was wrong - off by about 10 kg. - and when I pointed that out, it lead to a check with my oncologist in Windsor and a new order, dispensing the chemo all over again - had to wait for that, too. You always get a saline flush of the veins before you get the chemo - takes 10 - 15 min., depending on how fast it's running, and a little rinse-out when you are done - just a minute or two.
All in all, we were there from 8:30 - 11:00 but they tell me it won't be so long next week. It's the usual start-up stuff. I felt fine all day yesterday and slept well last night; up at 7:00 as usual and have had breakfast and am doing my laundry as I write. So - pretty good, I'd say. I just hope and PRAY that the cancer responds to this chemo and that it has some effect on it, unlike the other two earlier this year.
I am really thankful for the peace of mind that I experience the majority of the time. Many of you are praying for that for me, and I thank you. It has been a lot scarier since February, when I found out that the first chemo wasn't working and I have had to make a much stronger effort to say "God is in charge and has my best interests at heart; He knows what He is doing." I am still doing everything I can to keep my body strong and to fight this thing but I am also very aware that whatever happens with the medications, etc. will be under His control. "He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord. Trust in the Lord God always, for in the Lord Jehovah is your everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3,4 So that's what I try to do and am able to, most of the time.
More rain here again last night - we are pretty well soaked. It will be nice to get some warm, sunny days again.
Wedding plans are coming along - the one being moved from Seattle to Detroit will be much simplified from the original but will still be nice. Planning is taking place in Seattle, Brazil and Chicago, thanks to Skype. The Kitchener one is also experiencing some changes but will be more like the original plans. Steve is looking for a portable condenser for me that is strong enough; I won't need so many pressurized tanks when I am out of the house.
Thanks again for your prayers. May you too experience the peace of God today by trusting in His care for you.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Update - May 12, 2010
Can't believe the change in the weather ! What happened to our lovely spring days ? There are some new plants in Lian's garden that will probably have to be re-planted when she gets back here next week - we had a big frost Sunday night. The asparagus farms in the area lost most of their crop - will have to wait for new growth before they can harvest again.
Radiation finished without any problems - just tiring to be on the road every day. The appointment time is never the same, so you have to plan every day differently.
Monday, we saw my oncologist again, after getting a chest x-ray in the morning. She was happy to tell me that it showed no appreciable change - no growth of the tumour ("That's GOOD news") Other good news was that I had put back on 6.5 lbs. since April 27, when she saw me last. My next chemo starts May 17 - two weekly doses and the third week off; after 6 doses, another CT scan. I will be able to get this in Chatham, another piece of good news. So it was a fairly positive visit and we were encouraged. I continue to follow the nutritional advice of the nutritional oncologist I met in Austin in December and it seems to be helping as well. I have lists of things (drinks, supplements, etc.) to take every day and it keeps me hopping to remember them all.
On Friday, we were very pleasantly surprised to find that the whole Texas crew had come to Chatham, not just Steve. It was great to have the kids in the house again for a while, although the cold weather was a surprise for them and cut down on the amount of time to play outside. Pete and Jocelyn arrived as planned, so from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon the whole crew was here. Pete left on his way to Brazil again; plans to be there for another two weeks, I think.
Based on my oncologist's comments in April, both weddings are being moved to June. The Kitchener one involves getting new dates for the same venues but the Seattle one will be moved to Michigan or something like that - total uprooting of all plans. Pete's travel to Brazil does not help this situation, as well as the time difference between Brazil and Seattle - 4 hours. Jocelyn is still working as a Gr. 7 English teacher, so there are marking and report cards to be taken care of as well. I appreciate so much that they are willing to do this but I feel so bad that all these great plans are going out the window.
Thanks again for the wonderful cards and words of encouragement that keep appearing in my mailbox - there is usually at least one every day. They are so good at lifting my spirits when I am having a 'down day' or they are just comforting, knowing that someone is thinking of me and praying for me. I appreciate them so much.
May God bless you today.
Radiation finished without any problems - just tiring to be on the road every day. The appointment time is never the same, so you have to plan every day differently.
Monday, we saw my oncologist again, after getting a chest x-ray in the morning. She was happy to tell me that it showed no appreciable change - no growth of the tumour ("That's GOOD news") Other good news was that I had put back on 6.5 lbs. since April 27, when she saw me last. My next chemo starts May 17 - two weekly doses and the third week off; after 6 doses, another CT scan. I will be able to get this in Chatham, another piece of good news. So it was a fairly positive visit and we were encouraged. I continue to follow the nutritional advice of the nutritional oncologist I met in Austin in December and it seems to be helping as well. I have lists of things (drinks, supplements, etc.) to take every day and it keeps me hopping to remember them all.
On Friday, we were very pleasantly surprised to find that the whole Texas crew had come to Chatham, not just Steve. It was great to have the kids in the house again for a while, although the cold weather was a surprise for them and cut down on the amount of time to play outside. Pete and Jocelyn arrived as planned, so from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon the whole crew was here. Pete left on his way to Brazil again; plans to be there for another two weeks, I think.
Based on my oncologist's comments in April, both weddings are being moved to June. The Kitchener one involves getting new dates for the same venues but the Seattle one will be moved to Michigan or something like that - total uprooting of all plans. Pete's travel to Brazil does not help this situation, as well as the time difference between Brazil and Seattle - 4 hours. Jocelyn is still working as a Gr. 7 English teacher, so there are marking and report cards to be taken care of as well. I appreciate so much that they are willing to do this but I feel so bad that all these great plans are going out the window.
Thanks again for the wonderful cards and words of encouragement that keep appearing in my mailbox - there is usually at least one every day. They are so good at lifting my spirits when I am having a 'down day' or they are just comforting, knowing that someone is thinking of me and praying for me. I appreciate them so much.
May God bless you today.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Update - May 5, 2010
It's Cinqo de Mayo, for those of you who have Mexican connections !
(Mexican Independence Day)
I left you in a big funk last week but I am able to tell you that the clouds have cleared somewhat and I am feeling a little more positive. A few sunny days and some time thinking over all the blessings that have already come to me and I am less upset. So much of this is opinion, not fact - nobody but God knows what will happen and when. The radiologist is quite hopeful that he can have an effect on the big tumour - stabilize it or even shrink it, which would be fantastic. There are other smaller 'spots' on both lungs and that's where the next chemo will come in. My greatest prayer is that they will respond to it; the last two chemos have had no effect.
I am still on oxygen; our living room looks like a welder's supply. I can have up to 6 tanks of compressed oxygen there - using at least one every day to go to Windsor - and then there is the condenser, humming away at the foot of the stairs. I get that 50' hose tangled up a different way every day ! But it does make it easier to breathe.
I have had 3/5 radiation treatments - last two on Thursday and Friday of this week. Then I have follow-up appointments the week of June 21 (x-ray) and July 5 (to see what the effects of the radiation have been.) Monday, May 10th, I see my oncologist again for what I hope will be a discussion about the chemo. I have to have another chest x-ray that morning before that appointment - getting to be a weekly occurence. My rib cage will be glowing in the dark before long...
Mike and Lian are here this week; Amy went home for a few days but returned last night. Steve and my sister are arriving Friday and Pete and Jocelyn are going to be here Sat. and Sun. Everyone leaves Sunday evening or Monday morning except Amy; Mike and Lian return the next weekend for two weeks. So David and I are well looked after ! I cook my breakfast some mornings, but that's it. I haven't worried about lunch or dinner for weeks. Feels pretty good ! Some people live like that all the time !
There's a verse that struck my attention in July 2008, when I was first diagnosed. It keeps showing up - arrived in a card this week again. I'm trying so hard to keep it in mind and keep out of the 'pit of despair'. "I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13 I have no idea how many times He has reached into my life and helped me in ways I don't realize in the last 22 months; I can recognize some of them and I need to remember them and be comforted, instead of childishly crying, "But what are You doing NOW?" He will work in His own time and His own way for what is best for me. Of course, some of the biggest blessings and help is the time the kids are prepared to spend with us and support us - every time I had to go to Dallas, I knew Steve and Kristen were waiting at the other end; Mike and Lian come here and cook wonderful meals, clean and keep us company, as does Amy; Pete calls regularly, as he travels on a two-week cycle between Brazil and Seattle. Medicine and supplements appear, tasty treats 'Mom likes', - David and I are just basking in all this love, and what greater blessing is there than that? Sometimes you miss what is right in front of you.
So - is that better ??? Thanks to all of you who prayed that I'd get my wheels under me again, and for the many cards of encouragement and calls that came this past week. It was a pretty black cloud but it's moved away somewhat and today was a good day.
(Mexican Independence Day)
I left you in a big funk last week but I am able to tell you that the clouds have cleared somewhat and I am feeling a little more positive. A few sunny days and some time thinking over all the blessings that have already come to me and I am less upset. So much of this is opinion, not fact - nobody but God knows what will happen and when. The radiologist is quite hopeful that he can have an effect on the big tumour - stabilize it or even shrink it, which would be fantastic. There are other smaller 'spots' on both lungs and that's where the next chemo will come in. My greatest prayer is that they will respond to it; the last two chemos have had no effect.
I am still on oxygen; our living room looks like a welder's supply. I can have up to 6 tanks of compressed oxygen there - using at least one every day to go to Windsor - and then there is the condenser, humming away at the foot of the stairs. I get that 50' hose tangled up a different way every day ! But it does make it easier to breathe.
I have had 3/5 radiation treatments - last two on Thursday and Friday of this week. Then I have follow-up appointments the week of June 21 (x-ray) and July 5 (to see what the effects of the radiation have been.) Monday, May 10th, I see my oncologist again for what I hope will be a discussion about the chemo. I have to have another chest x-ray that morning before that appointment - getting to be a weekly occurence. My rib cage will be glowing in the dark before long...
Mike and Lian are here this week; Amy went home for a few days but returned last night. Steve and my sister are arriving Friday and Pete and Jocelyn are going to be here Sat. and Sun. Everyone leaves Sunday evening or Monday morning except Amy; Mike and Lian return the next weekend for two weeks. So David and I are well looked after ! I cook my breakfast some mornings, but that's it. I haven't worried about lunch or dinner for weeks. Feels pretty good ! Some people live like that all the time !
There's a verse that struck my attention in July 2008, when I was first diagnosed. It keeps showing up - arrived in a card this week again. I'm trying so hard to keep it in mind and keep out of the 'pit of despair'. "I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13 I have no idea how many times He has reached into my life and helped me in ways I don't realize in the last 22 months; I can recognize some of them and I need to remember them and be comforted, instead of childishly crying, "But what are You doing NOW?" He will work in His own time and His own way for what is best for me. Of course, some of the biggest blessings and help is the time the kids are prepared to spend with us and support us - every time I had to go to Dallas, I knew Steve and Kristen were waiting at the other end; Mike and Lian come here and cook wonderful meals, clean and keep us company, as does Amy; Pete calls regularly, as he travels on a two-week cycle between Brazil and Seattle. Medicine and supplements appear, tasty treats 'Mom likes', - David and I are just basking in all this love, and what greater blessing is there than that? Sometimes you miss what is right in front of you.
So - is that better ??? Thanks to all of you who prayed that I'd get my wheels under me again, and for the many cards of encouragement and calls that came this past week. It was a pretty black cloud but it's moved away somewhat and today was a good day.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Update - April 29, 2010
Things are moving fairly quickly, so I am just going to lay it out, day by day.
Monday, we were able to have a conference call with the medical team in Dallas, to go over their decision with me. As part of that discussion, I was e-mailed my last CT scan results and the answer is plain; the main tumour on my right lung grew from 4 cm to 6 cm in the 6 weeks that I was on the experimental drug. It is now growing around my trachea, and pulmonary arteries and veins - not a good situation. The Dallas team recommended several possible chemo options and the option of radiation - within 10 days to 2 weeks and sooner if possible. We made notes to take with us to Windsor Tuesday.
Tuesday - I had an appointment with my oncologist;only David and Amy and I were going. We took a copy of our notes from Monday's conversation but it turned out that several of the drugs they mentioned (Abraxane, Gemcitibine) were not covered in Ontario; the Alimta she did not feel would be effective for me. Instead, she recommended Navelbine and had made arrangements for me to have two treatments, Thursday April 29 and Thursday May 6, with a follow-up app't. and chest x-ray May 18th. I asked her for her opinion on whether or not I would be able to attend two family weddings this year - one in Seattle in August (have a contingency plan) and one here in Ontario in October (she just put her hand on my knee and shook her head; it was clear that it wasn't just the wedding I wasn't going to make it to - pretty big shock for all concerned right there!). She feels that the cancer is becoming chemo-refractive - doesn't respond to chemo and, based on the speed with which the tumour is growing, that was a reasonable timeline. We went sadly off to do the End of Treatment things that Dallas required - blood labs, EKG and chest x-ray. When we got home, there was a phone call telling me to be in Windsor Wed. at 11:00 for my radiation consultation.
Wednesday - back to Windsor again to see a radiation oncologist. We had just started the conversation when I mentioned that I had had a chest x-ray done the day before; this was news to him and he left to look at it. When he returned, he had looked at my CT scan as well (Apr. 21). The conclusion of the discussion was that I would have 5 radiation treatments. He took my dates for my chemo in the discussion. He seemed quite positive and felt that the radiation had a good chance (50%) of stabilizing or possibly even shrinking the tumour so that I could breathe more easily. After we left him, we went up to talk to my oncologist's receptionist because I had 2 appointments booked with her - May 10 and May 18 - and wondered if I needed to keep both. In the time that it took us to go up the elevator, the radiation doctor had called her to say that he felt the radiation should take precedence over the chemo and she had agreed. So as of today, I will have 5 radiation treatments May 3 - 7, and then see my oncologist May 10, as well as have another chest x-ray that day. The radiation doctor mentioned that the radiation could inflame my esophagus and I might have problems swallowing for a short time - not a lot of fun.
So it has been quite a week so far and there are plenty of emotions and tears swirling around the house. We had another of those family conference phone calls Tuesday night to bring everyone out of town up to date, especially about my likely not being at either wedding - more tears. So hard not to second-guess yourself - what if I had done x ? What if I hadn't done x ? Why me? Why now ? What good will come out of this ? Harder and harder to be calm and trust in the goodness of God and say "Thy will be done." Mostly, I am just saying, "NO! NO!NO!NO!"
Please pray for all of us - it's a tough week here.
Monday, we were able to have a conference call with the medical team in Dallas, to go over their decision with me. As part of that discussion, I was e-mailed my last CT scan results and the answer is plain; the main tumour on my right lung grew from 4 cm to 6 cm in the 6 weeks that I was on the experimental drug. It is now growing around my trachea, and pulmonary arteries and veins - not a good situation. The Dallas team recommended several possible chemo options and the option of radiation - within 10 days to 2 weeks and sooner if possible. We made notes to take with us to Windsor Tuesday.
Tuesday - I had an appointment with my oncologist;only David and Amy and I were going. We took a copy of our notes from Monday's conversation but it turned out that several of the drugs they mentioned (Abraxane, Gemcitibine) were not covered in Ontario; the Alimta she did not feel would be effective for me. Instead, she recommended Navelbine and had made arrangements for me to have two treatments, Thursday April 29 and Thursday May 6, with a follow-up app't. and chest x-ray May 18th. I asked her for her opinion on whether or not I would be able to attend two family weddings this year - one in Seattle in August (have a contingency plan) and one here in Ontario in October (she just put her hand on my knee and shook her head; it was clear that it wasn't just the wedding I wasn't going to make it to - pretty big shock for all concerned right there!). She feels that the cancer is becoming chemo-refractive - doesn't respond to chemo and, based on the speed with which the tumour is growing, that was a reasonable timeline. We went sadly off to do the End of Treatment things that Dallas required - blood labs, EKG and chest x-ray. When we got home, there was a phone call telling me to be in Windsor Wed. at 11:00 for my radiation consultation.
Wednesday - back to Windsor again to see a radiation oncologist. We had just started the conversation when I mentioned that I had had a chest x-ray done the day before; this was news to him and he left to look at it. When he returned, he had looked at my CT scan as well (Apr. 21). The conclusion of the discussion was that I would have 5 radiation treatments. He took my dates for my chemo in the discussion. He seemed quite positive and felt that the radiation had a good chance (50%) of stabilizing or possibly even shrinking the tumour so that I could breathe more easily. After we left him, we went up to talk to my oncologist's receptionist because I had 2 appointments booked with her - May 10 and May 18 - and wondered if I needed to keep both. In the time that it took us to go up the elevator, the radiation doctor had called her to say that he felt the radiation should take precedence over the chemo and she had agreed. So as of today, I will have 5 radiation treatments May 3 - 7, and then see my oncologist May 10, as well as have another chest x-ray that day. The radiation doctor mentioned that the radiation could inflame my esophagus and I might have problems swallowing for a short time - not a lot of fun.
So it has been quite a week so far and there are plenty of emotions and tears swirling around the house. We had another of those family conference phone calls Tuesday night to bring everyone out of town up to date, especially about my likely not being at either wedding - more tears. So hard not to second-guess yourself - what if I had done x ? What if I hadn't done x ? Why me? Why now ? What good will come out of this ? Harder and harder to be calm and trust in the goodness of God and say "Thy will be done." Mostly, I am just saying, "NO! NO!NO!NO!"
Please pray for all of us - it's a tough week here.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Update - April 25, 2010
Good morning -
We received word yesterday afternoon, based on the CT scan I had last Wed., that the trial drug is having no appreciable effect on my cancer and the recommendation was that I not come to Dallas this coming week or proceed with that treatment path. Instead, I will be seeing my oncologist in Windsor for the next steps. I was more relieved than anything else because I was very concerned about this upcoming trip and how I was going to be able to get through it. I have lain awake at night trying to figure out how many of these treatments I could manage - 2 more? 4 more? It has been difficult and I am not really sorry that it is done. I thought it might be some miraculous controller against this thing, but apparently not. So now I will go on a 'standard of care' drug for while, I think. I am still on waiting lists in Dallas for upcoming trials but I need something else fairly quickly - it's been 5 months without anything being effective.
While it was not welcome news, I find that I am OK with it and am looking forward to talking with my oncologist on Tuesday. Amy is here and has cancelled her trip to Dallas to be with us this week. She will be with us on Tuesday and Steve may come up as well. Mike and Lian plan to be here next week and if Pete wasn't on his way home from Brazil next Tuesday, he'd probably show up too. I tell you, it makes for a full examination room when we see the doctor ! If you live in Blackberryland, you can record conversations (with permission) on your phone and then send them to other family members who couldn't be there. I imagine that will be happening Tuesday as well.
So - I'll be here next week after all. May God be with you today.
We received word yesterday afternoon, based on the CT scan I had last Wed., that the trial drug is having no appreciable effect on my cancer and the recommendation was that I not come to Dallas this coming week or proceed with that treatment path. Instead, I will be seeing my oncologist in Windsor for the next steps. I was more relieved than anything else because I was very concerned about this upcoming trip and how I was going to be able to get through it. I have lain awake at night trying to figure out how many of these treatments I could manage - 2 more? 4 more? It has been difficult and I am not really sorry that it is done. I thought it might be some miraculous controller against this thing, but apparently not. So now I will go on a 'standard of care' drug for while, I think. I am still on waiting lists in Dallas for upcoming trials but I need something else fairly quickly - it's been 5 months without anything being effective.
While it was not welcome news, I find that I am OK with it and am looking forward to talking with my oncologist on Tuesday. Amy is here and has cancelled her trip to Dallas to be with us this week. She will be with us on Tuesday and Steve may come up as well. Mike and Lian plan to be here next week and if Pete wasn't on his way home from Brazil next Tuesday, he'd probably show up too. I tell you, it makes for a full examination room when we see the doctor ! If you live in Blackberryland, you can record conversations (with permission) on your phone and then send them to other family members who couldn't be there. I imagine that will be happening Tuesday as well.
So - I'll be here next week after all. May God be with you today.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Update - April 19, 2010
Some interesting developments since I last wrote !
David thought that I might benefit from oxygen assistance and made arrangements for a respiratory company to come and give me an assessment last Thursday, with the result that I am now attached by a 50' hose to something called a 'portable oxygen concentrator'. It was making a tremendous improvement within 24 hours - I could eat more, breathe better, had better colour, and felt more 'normal'. This is not compressed oxygen, although I have a tank for that, too - only lasts 3 hours - but a compressor which condenses the oxygen in the house air and adds it to what I am already breathing at the rate of 2L per minute. Amazing again how much difference it has made! I am very appreciative and thankful that David not only thought of it but went ahead and did it. I was kind of getting to where I thought it might be a good idea but would have had a hard time making the phone call - more 'invalid' stuff. So you can picture me now with one of those little clear hose things hooked over my ears and two little prongs in my nose - and a big smile, because I feel so much better with it!
Double-edged, though - can't take this equipment through an airport or on a plane, so will now have to find some source in Dallas to rent it, because I can't manage a week without it. We'll be on the way there again a week from today and I'm wondering how I'll make it through the plane trip...just not talk for 5 hours, I guess...I didn't realize how gaspy I had gotten until I got on the O2. It's very obvious when I have to be off it. So - something good to report !
I was able, with the help of Mike and Lian (youngest son and fiancée), to attend a memorial service in London on Saturday for a dear professor of many years ago. There were many friends there that I hadn't seen for some time and they were a real blessing to me and an encouragement, even though I couldn't stay to visit for long afterwards - had to get to the car for my O2.
I am encouraged daily. We went for supper last Thursday to Swiss Chalet and ran into friends who used to live here but who moved away years ago. They were in town just for the day to visit some other people that they knew. The wife of the couple has been a spiritual mentor to me for about 40 years, so it was a very special 'accident'. We had a great time but the best part was that she asked if she could anoint me with oil before we separated, as a sign that we were mutually turning this health issue over to God. I was happy to agree - and even more so when I found that her oil was actually spikenard from Israel. God continues to bring experiences and people to me that remind me that He is involved in this and not to be afraid.
Thank you again for your prayers - there are so many of you who are so kind to remember me and I appreciate it so much.
David thought that I might benefit from oxygen assistance and made arrangements for a respiratory company to come and give me an assessment last Thursday, with the result that I am now attached by a 50' hose to something called a 'portable oxygen concentrator'. It was making a tremendous improvement within 24 hours - I could eat more, breathe better, had better colour, and felt more 'normal'. This is not compressed oxygen, although I have a tank for that, too - only lasts 3 hours - but a compressor which condenses the oxygen in the house air and adds it to what I am already breathing at the rate of 2L per minute. Amazing again how much difference it has made! I am very appreciative and thankful that David not only thought of it but went ahead and did it. I was kind of getting to where I thought it might be a good idea but would have had a hard time making the phone call - more 'invalid' stuff. So you can picture me now with one of those little clear hose things hooked over my ears and two little prongs in my nose - and a big smile, because I feel so much better with it!
Double-edged, though - can't take this equipment through an airport or on a plane, so will now have to find some source in Dallas to rent it, because I can't manage a week without it. We'll be on the way there again a week from today and I'm wondering how I'll make it through the plane trip...just not talk for 5 hours, I guess...I didn't realize how gaspy I had gotten until I got on the O2. It's very obvious when I have to be off it. So - something good to report !
I was able, with the help of Mike and Lian (youngest son and fiancée), to attend a memorial service in London on Saturday for a dear professor of many years ago. There were many friends there that I hadn't seen for some time and they were a real blessing to me and an encouragement, even though I couldn't stay to visit for long afterwards - had to get to the car for my O2.
I am encouraged daily. We went for supper last Thursday to Swiss Chalet and ran into friends who used to live here but who moved away years ago. They were in town just for the day to visit some other people that they knew. The wife of the couple has been a spiritual mentor to me for about 40 years, so it was a very special 'accident'. We had a great time but the best part was that she asked if she could anoint me with oil before we separated, as a sign that we were mutually turning this health issue over to God. I was happy to agree - and even more so when I found that her oil was actually spikenard from Israel. God continues to bring experiences and people to me that remind me that He is involved in this and not to be afraid.
Thank you again for your prayers - there are so many of you who are so kind to remember me and I appreciate it so much.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Update - April 14, 2010
Well, things didn't quite work out as expected in Dallas.
We did go out for supper together Tuesday evening, but I have been finding that my appetite really drops off in the evening and I wasn't able to eat much of my supper. (I have lost approximately 30 pounds since Feb. 2009.) Apart from that, we had a good time. There's also the issue of what to order, because in Texas things are spiced up more than they are here and a lot of it is too spicy for me now.
I got the second treatment of the drug on Wednesday and they tried some different anti-nausea meds, so there was a bit if a change. I was sick more and had more diarrhea but it wasn't as violent as the first round. Back to the hotel and a quiet night ! It was also decided that I needed the shot I was getting the first time I had chemo, to bring my white blood cell count back up. Tests had shown that it had dropped to 500 instead of a normal 1500 with the first treatment of the Dallas medicine. That meant I had to get back to Chatham Friday - and that I also needed a chest x-ray - so plans were made Wed. evening to fly back Thursday instead of Friday. However, it became clear on Thursday that I wasn't going anywhere except back to bed, so we returned to the original Friday schedule. Back in Chatham, David was making arrangements to drive to Windsor on Friday, pick up the Neulasta and have it here at the house when I did get home Friday evening. An RN in the family was kind enough to come over Friday night and 'shoot' me, so I did get the med. Friday after all. (Chest x-ray had to wait until today, when I also had to get bloodwork done in Windsor.) The family is rallying around us, too - Mike's fiancée, Lian, came to spend the week in Chatham with David while we were away and Amy, Steve, Kristen (and kids) and my sister Carol were all with me in Dallas.
I was hoping that the Neulasta would work its magic pretty quickly but I have been down again all of this week I just have very little energy, (the reason I have not done this blog until now) have trouble breathing and can only sleep on one side - although I seem to manage OK most nights. There's a reduction in the usual household chores that I can do, too - we are all seeing quite an effect from this chemo - more than we have seen with any other. I can only hope that it means that it is also having a similar effect on the cancer and wiping it out, too.
So that's where I am now - thank you so much for your prayers. Almost every day I met someone who says, "I pray for you every day" It's both humbling and encouraging - when I get down, it's a comforting thing to remember. A friend at church gave me a little devotional book written by a minister who contracted ALS, or Lou Gehring's disease. I have been finding it very helpful, as it addresses issues that I also deal with. The thought this morning was "You have to surrender yourself and your future to God." The idea is that you can't influence much of what is or is not going to happen to you and to spend time worrying about it and fearing it is a waste. He will provide as necessary - but often at the last minute ! Anyhow - I'm working on that - has to happen several times a day, sometimes, but it does bring a certain peace.
I hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring, as it unfolds so wondefully around us. It speaks to me of God's reliability and His love of beautiful things - and of extravagance !
We did go out for supper together Tuesday evening, but I have been finding that my appetite really drops off in the evening and I wasn't able to eat much of my supper. (I have lost approximately 30 pounds since Feb. 2009.) Apart from that, we had a good time. There's also the issue of what to order, because in Texas things are spiced up more than they are here and a lot of it is too spicy for me now.
I got the second treatment of the drug on Wednesday and they tried some different anti-nausea meds, so there was a bit if a change. I was sick more and had more diarrhea but it wasn't as violent as the first round. Back to the hotel and a quiet night ! It was also decided that I needed the shot I was getting the first time I had chemo, to bring my white blood cell count back up. Tests had shown that it had dropped to 500 instead of a normal 1500 with the first treatment of the Dallas medicine. That meant I had to get back to Chatham Friday - and that I also needed a chest x-ray - so plans were made Wed. evening to fly back Thursday instead of Friday. However, it became clear on Thursday that I wasn't going anywhere except back to bed, so we returned to the original Friday schedule. Back in Chatham, David was making arrangements to drive to Windsor on Friday, pick up the Neulasta and have it here at the house when I did get home Friday evening. An RN in the family was kind enough to come over Friday night and 'shoot' me, so I did get the med. Friday after all. (Chest x-ray had to wait until today, when I also had to get bloodwork done in Windsor.) The family is rallying around us, too - Mike's fiancée, Lian, came to spend the week in Chatham with David while we were away and Amy, Steve, Kristen (and kids) and my sister Carol were all with me in Dallas.
I was hoping that the Neulasta would work its magic pretty quickly but I have been down again all of this week I just have very little energy, (the reason I have not done this blog until now) have trouble breathing and can only sleep on one side - although I seem to manage OK most nights. There's a reduction in the usual household chores that I can do, too - we are all seeing quite an effect from this chemo - more than we have seen with any other. I can only hope that it means that it is also having a similar effect on the cancer and wiping it out, too.
So that's where I am now - thank you so much for your prayers. Almost every day I met someone who says, "I pray for you every day" It's both humbling and encouraging - when I get down, it's a comforting thing to remember. A friend at church gave me a little devotional book written by a minister who contracted ALS, or Lou Gehring's disease. I have been finding it very helpful, as it addresses issues that I also deal with. The thought this morning was "You have to surrender yourself and your future to God." The idea is that you can't influence much of what is or is not going to happen to you and to spend time worrying about it and fearing it is a waste. He will provide as necessary - but often at the last minute ! Anyhow - I'm working on that - has to happen several times a day, sometimes, but it does bring a certain peace.
I hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring, as it unfolds so wondefully around us. It speaks to me of God's reliability and His love of beautiful things - and of extravagance !
Monday, April 5, 2010
Update - April 5, 2010
Not too much to tell but I thought I'd just bring everyone up to the present. This week is scheduled to be my second treatment in Dallas and my sister and I fly down there tomorrow. I should have the treatment on Wednesday if my bloodwork report is good. I'm a little anxious about it this time because I had such a strong reaction the last time...but they were going to try some other nausea meds, so we'll see how it goes. At least I know to give myself a recovery day before the return flight! Steve and Kristen are bringing the kids up again, so there is more 'grandma time' and Amy is already there on business, so we should all have supper Tuesday night, before the fun starts.
We had a lovely Easter weekend with my sister and two of our four, plus fiancée. I was able to go to the Good Friday service at church, which was very moving. We had Easter dinner on Saturday night and the amount of effort I put into getting that ready apparently ran my system right down because I then had to spend most of Easter Sunday in bed. That is more an indication of how little energy I have these days than how much I did, because I had lots of help. I was really disappointed but I just couldn't pull it off.
I have found this chemo to be more debilitating than any of the other kinds that I have had. I go to Dallas not feeling really recovered from the first round - another reason for my anxiety. When I read the list of 'possible side effects', I see 'tiredness', 'muscle weakness', 'decreased appetite', 'low red blood cell count' - all things that could acount for this. I'll be asking about it when there. I'm also hoping that if this medicine is having this much effect on my body, then it must also be having an effect on the cancer. God continues to reassure me, through various people's comments and other ways, that He has a plan and has things under control and that I am not to worry. Some days take more practice at that than others !
That's about all there is to say, except to thank you all once again for your prayers, cards, and concern. Your kindness is so much appreciated.
We had a lovely Easter weekend with my sister and two of our four, plus fiancée. I was able to go to the Good Friday service at church, which was very moving. We had Easter dinner on Saturday night and the amount of effort I put into getting that ready apparently ran my system right down because I then had to spend most of Easter Sunday in bed. That is more an indication of how little energy I have these days than how much I did, because I had lots of help. I was really disappointed but I just couldn't pull it off.
I have found this chemo to be more debilitating than any of the other kinds that I have had. I go to Dallas not feeling really recovered from the first round - another reason for my anxiety. When I read the list of 'possible side effects', I see 'tiredness', 'muscle weakness', 'decreased appetite', 'low red blood cell count' - all things that could acount for this. I'll be asking about it when there. I'm also hoping that if this medicine is having this much effect on my body, then it must also be having an effect on the cancer. God continues to reassure me, through various people's comments and other ways, that He has a plan and has things under control and that I am not to worry. Some days take more practice at that than others !
That's about all there is to say, except to thank you all once again for your prayers, cards, and concern. Your kindness is so much appreciated.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Update - March 30, 2010
Welcome to my life on the couch !
It's been 2 weeks now since I had my first chemo treatment with the experimental drug in Dallas and it has affected me more than any other chemo that I have had. I think I must have been getting off easy before.
It's all there in the list of possible side effects that I was given - fatigue, reduced white and red blood cell counts, loss of appetite - but I just haven't had such a long reaction before. It's usually been a week and then I was more or less back to normal. I'm still up and dressed, etc. and doing normal household activities - laundry, cooking, groceries - but I just have to rest for 30 - 45 min. between jobs and that's frustrating...leaves me with a lot of 'bedhead' ! However, it could be worse, a lot worse, and I am trying to keep perspective. I was also quite weepy there for a while but that seems to be passing, too.
David continues to be better as the result of that exercise for his inner ear balance but he does have to keep doing it on a regular basis to keep 'level-headed'!! (Couldn't resist.)
We are looking forward to family visits this Easter weekend, including my sister from Ottawa who will accompany me to Dallas the following week for Cycle 2. Amy has to go to Dallas also for a working trip, so I will have lots of company.
I am also looking forward to Easter as a reminder again of God's amazing, incomprehensible love for mankind and of His desire to bring this love to the lives of ordinary people like you and me. It is the story of Easter that gives me hope in this battle and confidence that however it turns out, it will be God's plan and that I will be OK. Like all gifts, God's love must be received and accepted to be part of your life or it just sits there on the shelf in its wrapping paper.
Thank you again for your prayers. Choose joy!!
It's been 2 weeks now since I had my first chemo treatment with the experimental drug in Dallas and it has affected me more than any other chemo that I have had. I think I must have been getting off easy before.
It's all there in the list of possible side effects that I was given - fatigue, reduced white and red blood cell counts, loss of appetite - but I just haven't had such a long reaction before. It's usually been a week and then I was more or less back to normal. I'm still up and dressed, etc. and doing normal household activities - laundry, cooking, groceries - but I just have to rest for 30 - 45 min. between jobs and that's frustrating...leaves me with a lot of 'bedhead' ! However, it could be worse, a lot worse, and I am trying to keep perspective. I was also quite weepy there for a while but that seems to be passing, too.
David continues to be better as the result of that exercise for his inner ear balance but he does have to keep doing it on a regular basis to keep 'level-headed'!! (Couldn't resist.)
We are looking forward to family visits this Easter weekend, including my sister from Ottawa who will accompany me to Dallas the following week for Cycle 2. Amy has to go to Dallas also for a working trip, so I will have lots of company.
I am also looking forward to Easter as a reminder again of God's amazing, incomprehensible love for mankind and of His desire to bring this love to the lives of ordinary people like you and me. It is the story of Easter that gives me hope in this battle and confidence that however it turns out, it will be God's plan and that I will be OK. Like all gifts, God's love must be received and accepted to be part of your life or it just sits there on the shelf in its wrapping paper.
Thank you again for your prayers. Choose joy!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Update - March 22, 2010
Well, at the risk of being repetitious - there's still a lot going on ! March is passing in a blur.
First of all, David found out on March 12, that there's nothing wrong with his heart or blood pressure - the dizziness and falling are the result of problems with his inner ear. It's a type of vertigo and he returned from his doctor's appointment with a simple head-over-the-end-of-the-bed exercise that he can repeat several times a week to 're-set' his balance mechanism. He has seen a remarkable improvement even in a few days and feels much more confident and sure of his mobility. We were very relieved to discover the cause and to have a simple solution for the problem ! He has more tests scheduled but this was a big result. While all this was happening, I was cooling my heels in Windsor, going through the process of another CT scan.
On Monday, March 15, our youngest son arrived from Kitchener to accompany us and be our assist with luggage, etc. and we all flew to Dallas that evening. Tuesday was not Day 1 of treatment, as originally planned; instead, I had some of the screening bloodwork repeated and a couple of conversations with various people who are running the cancer centre. Mike was able to record these so that other family members could hear the discussions. I did find out that day that I was randomized into the experimental drug group - another answer to prayer !! In a way, I was not surprised - just felt that things were continuing to work out 'as planned'.
Wednesday was 'Day 1' and what a day it turned out to be. We were at the hospital for 9:00 - started getting anti-nausea meds by 9:27 and the IV treatment of the drug started about 10:27 for 2 hours. No problem there - just sit in a nice recliner and read a magazine or something while it drips into you. First blood samples were taken about 1:15 or so and I was told that I had about 2 hrs. to wait until the next one. I could go down to the atrium and get something to eat or whatever as long as I didn't leave the building. Well, I made it to the waiting room and realized that I wasn't leaving the office! I returned to a treatment room with a bed and checked out until about 2:15, when the reactions started, as I had been warned...diarrhea for half an hour or so took care of half my digestive system. I rested until it was time for the next blood draw and returned to the chemo room - was part way through the blood draw when the nausea arrived - took care of the other part of my digestive system! I had been given anti-nausea meds at 9:27; thinking that these had worn off, they gave me more and of a different kind. This stuff just T-boned me - couldn't talk right, couldn't walk without help - doped to the gills! But I didn't throw up much afterwards! Anyhow - left the hospital about 5:30 in a wheelchair with a bucket in my lap...returned to the hotel and slept it off until about 9:00, when I awoke starving and managed some toast. Steve was there too and brought me back to the hotel in his car, which was a lot better than a cab. We realized late that evening that I wasn't in any shape to be flying the next day, so David, Steve and Mike re-arranged things to leave Friday instead. That will have to be the plan from now on, I think.
Thursday was better; we were back to the hospital for another blood draw by 7:30 and then had time for a family breakfast at the hotel after we got back. Kristen and the grandkids had made the trip to Dallas too, so we had a nice time together. I found that my taste was off again - one of the side effects of chemo - but I could eat OK. The highlight of the day was dinner that night at a BenneHanna restaurant (Japanese teppanyaki, where they cook at the table). We all enjoyed it, and Clay found it especially entertaining. I had a pretty good day - just had to rest in the afternoon - but no other side effects...just recovering.
Friday we were able to have one last family breakfast together before we all split up - the Austin tribe to make the return trip and the Ontario tribe to the airport. We had a later flight - left Dallas at 4:00 CT and arrived back in Detroit just after 10:00 p.m. We were in Chatham by 12:15 and Mike left to drive back to KW by 12:30 ! The night was clear and the road was almost empty, so it was a good time for him to go.
Overall, it was a good experience. I have been quite tired since returning but then I haven't had the usual 3 days post-treatment of 'happy pills' - steroids and my big anti-nausea med. So - a little more realistic, perhaps, and I have had to listen to my body more and not push it, which is probably good. However, I do feel a bit more 'settled' today and am hoping that I am over the worst of it. Time will tell ! The staff in Dallas were already talking about trying different anti-nausea meds for me next time, so we'll see what difference that might make. They are great people, very kind and sympathetic, as most people seem to be who have chosen this line of work.
I return to Dallas the week after Easter for a second treatment and then will have another CT scan April 21 to see if the drug is having any effect. If it is, then I return to Dallas for Cycle 3 the last week of April. That will be the pattern - two treatments and then a CT scan. If the results are good, then we continue. If the cancer shows growth of 20% or more, the treatments are discontinued and another plan will be drawn up. So please pray that there will be reason to continue !
I do feel that this is God's plan for me - even though I wasn't too sure there for a while about all the traveling - but it just seems so unusual that I would even have this opportunity that I don't know how else it would come about. I am so thankful that I can try this, thankful for the time to see the Austin tribe, thankful for the time with other family members - there's a lot of good coming out of this, even though it is scary. Friends feel that they would like to pray for me and they do - in coffee shops, in halls in the church, in wherever we happen to be - I am in awe of their caring and support. When I get rattled, I think back to some of these experiences and am comforted and calmed. So many of you are praying for me and for our family and I thank you so much. I have a little 'mental collection' of faces, comments, etc. that I draw on when the black thoughts swirl around in my head and they help me turn away from all of that and choose to trust, choose not to panic, choose to 'rest in the Lord'. Thank you again.
Isn't it great to see the robins back and wake up to birdsong in the mornings ? Spring is going to make it ! Choose joy !
First of all, David found out on March 12, that there's nothing wrong with his heart or blood pressure - the dizziness and falling are the result of problems with his inner ear. It's a type of vertigo and he returned from his doctor's appointment with a simple head-over-the-end-of-the-bed exercise that he can repeat several times a week to 're-set' his balance mechanism. He has seen a remarkable improvement even in a few days and feels much more confident and sure of his mobility. We were very relieved to discover the cause and to have a simple solution for the problem ! He has more tests scheduled but this was a big result. While all this was happening, I was cooling my heels in Windsor, going through the process of another CT scan.
On Monday, March 15, our youngest son arrived from Kitchener to accompany us and be our assist with luggage, etc. and we all flew to Dallas that evening. Tuesday was not Day 1 of treatment, as originally planned; instead, I had some of the screening bloodwork repeated and a couple of conversations with various people who are running the cancer centre. Mike was able to record these so that other family members could hear the discussions. I did find out that day that I was randomized into the experimental drug group - another answer to prayer !! In a way, I was not surprised - just felt that things were continuing to work out 'as planned'.
Wednesday was 'Day 1' and what a day it turned out to be. We were at the hospital for 9:00 - started getting anti-nausea meds by 9:27 and the IV treatment of the drug started about 10:27 for 2 hours. No problem there - just sit in a nice recliner and read a magazine or something while it drips into you. First blood samples were taken about 1:15 or so and I was told that I had about 2 hrs. to wait until the next one. I could go down to the atrium and get something to eat or whatever as long as I didn't leave the building. Well, I made it to the waiting room and realized that I wasn't leaving the office! I returned to a treatment room with a bed and checked out until about 2:15, when the reactions started, as I had been warned...diarrhea for half an hour or so took care of half my digestive system. I rested until it was time for the next blood draw and returned to the chemo room - was part way through the blood draw when the nausea arrived - took care of the other part of my digestive system! I had been given anti-nausea meds at 9:27; thinking that these had worn off, they gave me more and of a different kind. This stuff just T-boned me - couldn't talk right, couldn't walk without help - doped to the gills! But I didn't throw up much afterwards! Anyhow - left the hospital about 5:30 in a wheelchair with a bucket in my lap...returned to the hotel and slept it off until about 9:00, when I awoke starving and managed some toast. Steve was there too and brought me back to the hotel in his car, which was a lot better than a cab. We realized late that evening that I wasn't in any shape to be flying the next day, so David, Steve and Mike re-arranged things to leave Friday instead. That will have to be the plan from now on, I think.
Thursday was better; we were back to the hospital for another blood draw by 7:30 and then had time for a family breakfast at the hotel after we got back. Kristen and the grandkids had made the trip to Dallas too, so we had a nice time together. I found that my taste was off again - one of the side effects of chemo - but I could eat OK. The highlight of the day was dinner that night at a BenneHanna restaurant (Japanese teppanyaki, where they cook at the table). We all enjoyed it, and Clay found it especially entertaining. I had a pretty good day - just had to rest in the afternoon - but no other side effects...just recovering.
Friday we were able to have one last family breakfast together before we all split up - the Austin tribe to make the return trip and the Ontario tribe to the airport. We had a later flight - left Dallas at 4:00 CT and arrived back in Detroit just after 10:00 p.m. We were in Chatham by 12:15 and Mike left to drive back to KW by 12:30 ! The night was clear and the road was almost empty, so it was a good time for him to go.
Overall, it was a good experience. I have been quite tired since returning but then I haven't had the usual 3 days post-treatment of 'happy pills' - steroids and my big anti-nausea med. So - a little more realistic, perhaps, and I have had to listen to my body more and not push it, which is probably good. However, I do feel a bit more 'settled' today and am hoping that I am over the worst of it. Time will tell ! The staff in Dallas were already talking about trying different anti-nausea meds for me next time, so we'll see what difference that might make. They are great people, very kind and sympathetic, as most people seem to be who have chosen this line of work.
I return to Dallas the week after Easter for a second treatment and then will have another CT scan April 21 to see if the drug is having any effect. If it is, then I return to Dallas for Cycle 3 the last week of April. That will be the pattern - two treatments and then a CT scan. If the results are good, then we continue. If the cancer shows growth of 20% or more, the treatments are discontinued and another plan will be drawn up. So please pray that there will be reason to continue !
I do feel that this is God's plan for me - even though I wasn't too sure there for a while about all the traveling - but it just seems so unusual that I would even have this opportunity that I don't know how else it would come about. I am so thankful that I can try this, thankful for the time to see the Austin tribe, thankful for the time with other family members - there's a lot of good coming out of this, even though it is scary. Friends feel that they would like to pray for me and they do - in coffee shops, in halls in the church, in wherever we happen to be - I am in awe of their caring and support. When I get rattled, I think back to some of these experiences and am comforted and calmed. So many of you are praying for me and for our family and I thank you so much. I have a little 'mental collection' of faces, comments, etc. that I draw on when the black thoughts swirl around in my head and they help me turn away from all of that and choose to trust, choose not to panic, choose to 'rest in the Lord'. Thank you again.
Isn't it great to see the robins back and wake up to birdsong in the mornings ? Spring is going to make it ! Choose joy !
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Update - March 10, 2010
Once again, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote.
First of all, we had a wonderful weekend celebrating birthdays and just being together as a family. We were expecting three out of the four kids but were VERY pleasantly surprised when #4, "the Big Guy", stepped out of the car Saturday afternoon as well. So, we were able to celebrate 3 out of the 6 family birthdays and just really enjoyed our time together. It was a real gift to be all together again so soon after Christmas and probably won't happen again until Pete and Jocelyn's wedding in Seattle in August.
On Monday, five of us set out for my oncologist appointment in Windsor. As you know, I was praying so much for a clear direction as a result of that meeting and many of you were praying that for us as well - thank you again. That is what we got. My oncologist strongly recommended that I take the option open to me in Dallas and we could all see that it was the best choice for me at this point. We also received the radiologist report on my CT scan of Feb. 12 which shows that the cancer is progressing in spite of the carboplatinum treatments - not good news. Some of the nodules are stable, but some are growing - in millimetres, but growing. What I am looking for now and praying for is a drug that will stop the growth and possibly even shrink these nodules and tumours that are there. Hopefully, that is what I will find in Dallas. I keep reminding myself that this was an option that came to me unlooked for and I am trusting that it is God's plan for me.
David and I and our youngest son will leave for Dallas Monday, March 15. I should have the first treatment of either the experimental drug or the control drug on Tuesday, a second check-up on Wednesday and then fly back home Thursday. Once I start, I will be going there every three weeks. I still have to have this confirmed, so it is possible that there will be some changes to this schedule.
David also has some medical issues happening - he has been troubled by dizziness when he stands and begins to walk to the point where he has fallen several times. He will be having some tests done for this as well - we are both falling apart !!!
That is about all for now - will keep you updated as things develop. I am looking forward to the opportunities in Dallas and praying that there will be good results from whatever I am treated with there. Please pray that I - and the rest of the family - will be able to trust God in this and stay in the peace of that confidence instead of distressing ourselves with the 'what ifs' and bad possibilities.
First of all, we had a wonderful weekend celebrating birthdays and just being together as a family. We were expecting three out of the four kids but were VERY pleasantly surprised when #4, "the Big Guy", stepped out of the car Saturday afternoon as well. So, we were able to celebrate 3 out of the 6 family birthdays and just really enjoyed our time together. It was a real gift to be all together again so soon after Christmas and probably won't happen again until Pete and Jocelyn's wedding in Seattle in August.
On Monday, five of us set out for my oncologist appointment in Windsor. As you know, I was praying so much for a clear direction as a result of that meeting and many of you were praying that for us as well - thank you again. That is what we got. My oncologist strongly recommended that I take the option open to me in Dallas and we could all see that it was the best choice for me at this point. We also received the radiologist report on my CT scan of Feb. 12 which shows that the cancer is progressing in spite of the carboplatinum treatments - not good news. Some of the nodules are stable, but some are growing - in millimetres, but growing. What I am looking for now and praying for is a drug that will stop the growth and possibly even shrink these nodules and tumours that are there. Hopefully, that is what I will find in Dallas. I keep reminding myself that this was an option that came to me unlooked for and I am trusting that it is God's plan for me.
David and I and our youngest son will leave for Dallas Monday, March 15. I should have the first treatment of either the experimental drug or the control drug on Tuesday, a second check-up on Wednesday and then fly back home Thursday. Once I start, I will be going there every three weeks. I still have to have this confirmed, so it is possible that there will be some changes to this schedule.
David also has some medical issues happening - he has been troubled by dizziness when he stands and begins to walk to the point where he has fallen several times. He will be having some tests done for this as well - we are both falling apart !!!
That is about all for now - will keep you updated as things develop. I am looking forward to the opportunities in Dallas and praying that there will be good results from whatever I am treated with there. Please pray that I - and the rest of the family - will be able to trust God in this and stay in the peace of that confidence instead of distressing ourselves with the 'what ifs' and bad possibilities.
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