Good morning - lovely day promised here in southern Ontario - hope you are looking at a similar one wherever you are.
My second chemo took place on Tuesday of this week - went much better than the first time. We were there 8:30 - 9:50 and everything went smoothly. I had a good talk with the supervising doctor who reassured me that my heart rate (over 100) is still within normal range, and I am not going to 'blow up' some day. I have been having a lot of trouble with coughing, too, and he advised me to double up on my GERD medication to help with that. Apparently I have a hiatal hernia but the surgical repair for that is not possible for me now. We went shopping afterwards and out for lunch, so it was a nice day.
Wednesday, we were in Windsor at the cancer centre again to see my oncologist. I was happy to be able to tell her that I have noticed a significant improvement in my breathing for about a week - I can go without my oxygen for 30 min. or so if I am just being quiet. She listened to my lungs and agreed - much better air return in the right lung! So, I guess the radiation is having a good effect, since it would be about 10 days before that I finished that. Possibly even the medication from Dallas - who knows? I am just enjoying it and the beneficial effects - I am more energetic, can eat better, can move better, etc. So interesting to see just how totally your body depends on its oxygen supply - you think it's the food you eat, and up to a point it is, but without oxygen, nothing works.
I have developed a lump on the top of my head which is going to have a needle biopsy some time in the next two weeks. Lots of possibilities, most of which make me nervous, but at least it is on the outside of my head. Because I had so many lymph glands that were 'positive' at my surgery, the cancer can move anywhere in my body. Breast cancer can move to lungs, liver, bones and/or brain. It's the brain part that bothers me because I would like to stay 'myself' throughout this experience. My dad's prostate cancer traveled to his brain and he went blind the last few months of his life as well as some other issues. But he was still there most of the time, so I guess I won't try to scare myself too much with all of that. I am just hoping that I won't have to have a big shaved spot on my head right before the weddings!
Also, last Saturday Amy, Lian and I went dress shopping in LaSalle for dresses for the two weddings. I was able to find two dresses and a pair of shoes that will go with both of them in just over an hour - more oxygen = more energy ! I am very pleased with both of them - I don't want to look 'invalid-y' - just make my boys proud of their mom at their weddings. I think I will be able to do that. They have done so much to make sure that I could be part of their celebrations.
There are so many people who are kind to me - I love my flower beds in the summer but can't plant them so well this year. I went and bought the flowers for the big one right in front of the house and a group of friends from church came over and planted the whole bed in an hour ! It looks so good and when I sit on the front porch, one of my favourite places, it is lovely to look at. Lian is out there watering them daily. I am such a wuss these days that I can hardly haul the hose out far enough to do that. When I think of what I was doing this time last year, it can get pretty frustrating, but then I just have to be glad that I am still here.
My pastor can over to visit the other day and read me some of the Psalms of David, in which he prayed for deliverance from his enemies. It's so interesting how those words apply to how I feel - I find myself praying the words from Ps. 57 - 59 - "deliver me from this enemy who seeks to destroy me!"
Thank you to those of you who continue to send me lovely cards with such encouraging messages - I appreciate each one. They come from people I wouldn't always expect and sometimes have messages about things that I have done that I don't remember (good things!) but that they do - you never know what other people are noticing. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has just been one big 'seeding' operation and now the 'crop' is being returned. It can be pretty encouraging.
"Don't worry over anything whatever (!); tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God, which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7
May God's peace be with you today.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Update - May 18, 2010
Good morning, one and all - had my first chemo in Chatham yesterday and am happy to tell you that it all went very well, if slowly. It was supposed to be a 15 min. dose, which actually took 6 min., once we got to that part. However, since it was my first time in that unit, there was a lot of introductory stuff that had to be done.
I was informed of all the side effects possible for this type of chemo and cautioned about a variety of things. I met my new supervising doctor and a new community health nurse. I came home with lots of new paper to read and a 'fever card' to use if I have to go to Emerg. with a fever over 38.5, which will help me 'jump the queue'.
I noticed on the orders for my chemo that my weight was wrong - off by about 10 kg. - and when I pointed that out, it lead to a check with my oncologist in Windsor and a new order, dispensing the chemo all over again - had to wait for that, too. You always get a saline flush of the veins before you get the chemo - takes 10 - 15 min., depending on how fast it's running, and a little rinse-out when you are done - just a minute or two.
All in all, we were there from 8:30 - 11:00 but they tell me it won't be so long next week. It's the usual start-up stuff. I felt fine all day yesterday and slept well last night; up at 7:00 as usual and have had breakfast and am doing my laundry as I write. So - pretty good, I'd say. I just hope and PRAY that the cancer responds to this chemo and that it has some effect on it, unlike the other two earlier this year.
I am really thankful for the peace of mind that I experience the majority of the time. Many of you are praying for that for me, and I thank you. It has been a lot scarier since February, when I found out that the first chemo wasn't working and I have had to make a much stronger effort to say "God is in charge and has my best interests at heart; He knows what He is doing." I am still doing everything I can to keep my body strong and to fight this thing but I am also very aware that whatever happens with the medications, etc. will be under His control. "He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord. Trust in the Lord God always, for in the Lord Jehovah is your everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3,4 So that's what I try to do and am able to, most of the time.
More rain here again last night - we are pretty well soaked. It will be nice to get some warm, sunny days again.
Wedding plans are coming along - the one being moved from Seattle to Detroit will be much simplified from the original but will still be nice. Planning is taking place in Seattle, Brazil and Chicago, thanks to Skype. The Kitchener one is also experiencing some changes but will be more like the original plans. Steve is looking for a portable condenser for me that is strong enough; I won't need so many pressurized tanks when I am out of the house.
Thanks again for your prayers. May you too experience the peace of God today by trusting in His care for you.
I was informed of all the side effects possible for this type of chemo and cautioned about a variety of things. I met my new supervising doctor and a new community health nurse. I came home with lots of new paper to read and a 'fever card' to use if I have to go to Emerg. with a fever over 38.5, which will help me 'jump the queue'.
I noticed on the orders for my chemo that my weight was wrong - off by about 10 kg. - and when I pointed that out, it lead to a check with my oncologist in Windsor and a new order, dispensing the chemo all over again - had to wait for that, too. You always get a saline flush of the veins before you get the chemo - takes 10 - 15 min., depending on how fast it's running, and a little rinse-out when you are done - just a minute or two.
All in all, we were there from 8:30 - 11:00 but they tell me it won't be so long next week. It's the usual start-up stuff. I felt fine all day yesterday and slept well last night; up at 7:00 as usual and have had breakfast and am doing my laundry as I write. So - pretty good, I'd say. I just hope and PRAY that the cancer responds to this chemo and that it has some effect on it, unlike the other two earlier this year.
I am really thankful for the peace of mind that I experience the majority of the time. Many of you are praying for that for me, and I thank you. It has been a lot scarier since February, when I found out that the first chemo wasn't working and I have had to make a much stronger effort to say "God is in charge and has my best interests at heart; He knows what He is doing." I am still doing everything I can to keep my body strong and to fight this thing but I am also very aware that whatever happens with the medications, etc. will be under His control. "He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord. Trust in the Lord God always, for in the Lord Jehovah is your everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3,4 So that's what I try to do and am able to, most of the time.
More rain here again last night - we are pretty well soaked. It will be nice to get some warm, sunny days again.
Wedding plans are coming along - the one being moved from Seattle to Detroit will be much simplified from the original but will still be nice. Planning is taking place in Seattle, Brazil and Chicago, thanks to Skype. The Kitchener one is also experiencing some changes but will be more like the original plans. Steve is looking for a portable condenser for me that is strong enough; I won't need so many pressurized tanks when I am out of the house.
Thanks again for your prayers. May you too experience the peace of God today by trusting in His care for you.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Update - May 12, 2010
Can't believe the change in the weather ! What happened to our lovely spring days ? There are some new plants in Lian's garden that will probably have to be re-planted when she gets back here next week - we had a big frost Sunday night. The asparagus farms in the area lost most of their crop - will have to wait for new growth before they can harvest again.
Radiation finished without any problems - just tiring to be on the road every day. The appointment time is never the same, so you have to plan every day differently.
Monday, we saw my oncologist again, after getting a chest x-ray in the morning. She was happy to tell me that it showed no appreciable change - no growth of the tumour ("That's GOOD news") Other good news was that I had put back on 6.5 lbs. since April 27, when she saw me last. My next chemo starts May 17 - two weekly doses and the third week off; after 6 doses, another CT scan. I will be able to get this in Chatham, another piece of good news. So it was a fairly positive visit and we were encouraged. I continue to follow the nutritional advice of the nutritional oncologist I met in Austin in December and it seems to be helping as well. I have lists of things (drinks, supplements, etc.) to take every day and it keeps me hopping to remember them all.
On Friday, we were very pleasantly surprised to find that the whole Texas crew had come to Chatham, not just Steve. It was great to have the kids in the house again for a while, although the cold weather was a surprise for them and cut down on the amount of time to play outside. Pete and Jocelyn arrived as planned, so from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon the whole crew was here. Pete left on his way to Brazil again; plans to be there for another two weeks, I think.
Based on my oncologist's comments in April, both weddings are being moved to June. The Kitchener one involves getting new dates for the same venues but the Seattle one will be moved to Michigan or something like that - total uprooting of all plans. Pete's travel to Brazil does not help this situation, as well as the time difference between Brazil and Seattle - 4 hours. Jocelyn is still working as a Gr. 7 English teacher, so there are marking and report cards to be taken care of as well. I appreciate so much that they are willing to do this but I feel so bad that all these great plans are going out the window.
Thanks again for the wonderful cards and words of encouragement that keep appearing in my mailbox - there is usually at least one every day. They are so good at lifting my spirits when I am having a 'down day' or they are just comforting, knowing that someone is thinking of me and praying for me. I appreciate them so much.
May God bless you today.
Radiation finished without any problems - just tiring to be on the road every day. The appointment time is never the same, so you have to plan every day differently.
Monday, we saw my oncologist again, after getting a chest x-ray in the morning. She was happy to tell me that it showed no appreciable change - no growth of the tumour ("That's GOOD news") Other good news was that I had put back on 6.5 lbs. since April 27, when she saw me last. My next chemo starts May 17 - two weekly doses and the third week off; after 6 doses, another CT scan. I will be able to get this in Chatham, another piece of good news. So it was a fairly positive visit and we were encouraged. I continue to follow the nutritional advice of the nutritional oncologist I met in Austin in December and it seems to be helping as well. I have lists of things (drinks, supplements, etc.) to take every day and it keeps me hopping to remember them all.
On Friday, we were very pleasantly surprised to find that the whole Texas crew had come to Chatham, not just Steve. It was great to have the kids in the house again for a while, although the cold weather was a surprise for them and cut down on the amount of time to play outside. Pete and Jocelyn arrived as planned, so from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon the whole crew was here. Pete left on his way to Brazil again; plans to be there for another two weeks, I think.
Based on my oncologist's comments in April, both weddings are being moved to June. The Kitchener one involves getting new dates for the same venues but the Seattle one will be moved to Michigan or something like that - total uprooting of all plans. Pete's travel to Brazil does not help this situation, as well as the time difference between Brazil and Seattle - 4 hours. Jocelyn is still working as a Gr. 7 English teacher, so there are marking and report cards to be taken care of as well. I appreciate so much that they are willing to do this but I feel so bad that all these great plans are going out the window.
Thanks again for the wonderful cards and words of encouragement that keep appearing in my mailbox - there is usually at least one every day. They are so good at lifting my spirits when I am having a 'down day' or they are just comforting, knowing that someone is thinking of me and praying for me. I appreciate them so much.
May God bless you today.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Update - May 5, 2010
It's Cinqo de Mayo, for those of you who have Mexican connections !
(Mexican Independence Day)
I left you in a big funk last week but I am able to tell you that the clouds have cleared somewhat and I am feeling a little more positive. A few sunny days and some time thinking over all the blessings that have already come to me and I am less upset. So much of this is opinion, not fact - nobody but God knows what will happen and when. The radiologist is quite hopeful that he can have an effect on the big tumour - stabilize it or even shrink it, which would be fantastic. There are other smaller 'spots' on both lungs and that's where the next chemo will come in. My greatest prayer is that they will respond to it; the last two chemos have had no effect.
I am still on oxygen; our living room looks like a welder's supply. I can have up to 6 tanks of compressed oxygen there - using at least one every day to go to Windsor - and then there is the condenser, humming away at the foot of the stairs. I get that 50' hose tangled up a different way every day ! But it does make it easier to breathe.
I have had 3/5 radiation treatments - last two on Thursday and Friday of this week. Then I have follow-up appointments the week of June 21 (x-ray) and July 5 (to see what the effects of the radiation have been.) Monday, May 10th, I see my oncologist again for what I hope will be a discussion about the chemo. I have to have another chest x-ray that morning before that appointment - getting to be a weekly occurence. My rib cage will be glowing in the dark before long...
Mike and Lian are here this week; Amy went home for a few days but returned last night. Steve and my sister are arriving Friday and Pete and Jocelyn are going to be here Sat. and Sun. Everyone leaves Sunday evening or Monday morning except Amy; Mike and Lian return the next weekend for two weeks. So David and I are well looked after ! I cook my breakfast some mornings, but that's it. I haven't worried about lunch or dinner for weeks. Feels pretty good ! Some people live like that all the time !
There's a verse that struck my attention in July 2008, when I was first diagnosed. It keeps showing up - arrived in a card this week again. I'm trying so hard to keep it in mind and keep out of the 'pit of despair'. "I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13 I have no idea how many times He has reached into my life and helped me in ways I don't realize in the last 22 months; I can recognize some of them and I need to remember them and be comforted, instead of childishly crying, "But what are You doing NOW?" He will work in His own time and His own way for what is best for me. Of course, some of the biggest blessings and help is the time the kids are prepared to spend with us and support us - every time I had to go to Dallas, I knew Steve and Kristen were waiting at the other end; Mike and Lian come here and cook wonderful meals, clean and keep us company, as does Amy; Pete calls regularly, as he travels on a two-week cycle between Brazil and Seattle. Medicine and supplements appear, tasty treats 'Mom likes', - David and I are just basking in all this love, and what greater blessing is there than that? Sometimes you miss what is right in front of you.
So - is that better ??? Thanks to all of you who prayed that I'd get my wheels under me again, and for the many cards of encouragement and calls that came this past week. It was a pretty black cloud but it's moved away somewhat and today was a good day.
(Mexican Independence Day)
I left you in a big funk last week but I am able to tell you that the clouds have cleared somewhat and I am feeling a little more positive. A few sunny days and some time thinking over all the blessings that have already come to me and I am less upset. So much of this is opinion, not fact - nobody but God knows what will happen and when. The radiologist is quite hopeful that he can have an effect on the big tumour - stabilize it or even shrink it, which would be fantastic. There are other smaller 'spots' on both lungs and that's where the next chemo will come in. My greatest prayer is that they will respond to it; the last two chemos have had no effect.
I am still on oxygen; our living room looks like a welder's supply. I can have up to 6 tanks of compressed oxygen there - using at least one every day to go to Windsor - and then there is the condenser, humming away at the foot of the stairs. I get that 50' hose tangled up a different way every day ! But it does make it easier to breathe.
I have had 3/5 radiation treatments - last two on Thursday and Friday of this week. Then I have follow-up appointments the week of June 21 (x-ray) and July 5 (to see what the effects of the radiation have been.) Monday, May 10th, I see my oncologist again for what I hope will be a discussion about the chemo. I have to have another chest x-ray that morning before that appointment - getting to be a weekly occurence. My rib cage will be glowing in the dark before long...
Mike and Lian are here this week; Amy went home for a few days but returned last night. Steve and my sister are arriving Friday and Pete and Jocelyn are going to be here Sat. and Sun. Everyone leaves Sunday evening or Monday morning except Amy; Mike and Lian return the next weekend for two weeks. So David and I are well looked after ! I cook my breakfast some mornings, but that's it. I haven't worried about lunch or dinner for weeks. Feels pretty good ! Some people live like that all the time !
There's a verse that struck my attention in July 2008, when I was first diagnosed. It keeps showing up - arrived in a card this week again. I'm trying so hard to keep it in mind and keep out of the 'pit of despair'. "I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13 I have no idea how many times He has reached into my life and helped me in ways I don't realize in the last 22 months; I can recognize some of them and I need to remember them and be comforted, instead of childishly crying, "But what are You doing NOW?" He will work in His own time and His own way for what is best for me. Of course, some of the biggest blessings and help is the time the kids are prepared to spend with us and support us - every time I had to go to Dallas, I knew Steve and Kristen were waiting at the other end; Mike and Lian come here and cook wonderful meals, clean and keep us company, as does Amy; Pete calls regularly, as he travels on a two-week cycle between Brazil and Seattle. Medicine and supplements appear, tasty treats 'Mom likes', - David and I are just basking in all this love, and what greater blessing is there than that? Sometimes you miss what is right in front of you.
So - is that better ??? Thanks to all of you who prayed that I'd get my wheels under me again, and for the many cards of encouragement and calls that came this past week. It was a pretty black cloud but it's moved away somewhat and today was a good day.
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