Update - May 28, 2010

Good morning - lovely day promised here in southern Ontario - hope you are looking at a similar one wherever you are.

My second chemo took place on Tuesday of this week - went much better than the first time. We were there 8:30 - 9:50 and everything went smoothly. I had a good talk with the supervising doctor who reassured me that my heart rate (over 100) is still within normal range, and I am not going to 'blow up' some day. I have been having a lot of trouble with coughing, too, and he advised me to double up on my GERD medication to help with that. Apparently I have a hiatal hernia but the surgical repair for that is not possible for me now. We went shopping afterwards and out for lunch, so it was a nice day.

Wednesday, we were in Windsor at the cancer centre again to see my oncologist. I was happy to be able to tell her that I have noticed a significant improvement in my breathing for about a week - I can go without my oxygen for 30 min. or so if I am just being quiet. She listened to my lungs and agreed - much better air return in the right lung! So, I guess the radiation is having a good effect, since it would be about 10 days before that I finished that. Possibly even the medication from Dallas - who knows? I am just enjoying it and the beneficial effects - I am more energetic, can eat better, can move better, etc. So interesting to see just how totally your body depends on its oxygen supply - you think it's the food you eat, and up to a point it is, but without oxygen, nothing works.

I have developed a lump on the top of my head which is going to have a needle biopsy some time in the next two weeks. Lots of possibilities, most of which make me nervous, but at least it is on the outside of my head. Because I had so many lymph glands that were 'positive' at my surgery, the cancer can move anywhere in my body. Breast cancer can move to lungs, liver, bones and/or brain. It's the brain part that bothers me because I would like to stay 'myself' throughout this experience. My dad's prostate cancer traveled to his brain and he went blind the last few months of his life as well as some other issues. But he was still there most of the time, so I guess I won't try to scare myself too much with all of that. I am just hoping that I won't have to have a big shaved spot on my head right before the weddings!

Also, last Saturday Amy, Lian and I went dress shopping in LaSalle for dresses for the two weddings. I was able to find two dresses and a pair of shoes that will go with both of them in just over an hour - more oxygen = more energy ! I am very pleased with both of them - I don't want to look 'invalid-y' - just make my boys proud of their mom at their weddings. I think I will be able to do that. They have done so much to make sure that I could be part of their celebrations.

There are so many people who are kind to me - I love my flower beds in the summer but can't plant them so well this year. I went and bought the flowers for the big one right in front of the house and a group of friends from church came over and planted the whole bed in an hour ! It looks so good and when I sit on the front porch, one of my favourite places, it is lovely to look at. Lian is out there watering them daily. I am such a wuss these days that I can hardly haul the hose out far enough to do that. When I think of what I was doing this time last year, it can get pretty frustrating, but then I just have to be glad that I am still here.

My pastor can over to visit the other day and read me some of the Psalms of David, in which he prayed for deliverance from his enemies. It's so interesting how those words apply to how I feel - I find myself praying the words from Ps. 57 - 59 - "deliver me from this enemy who seeks to destroy me!"

Thank you to those of you who continue to send me lovely cards with such encouraging messages - I appreciate each one. They come from people I wouldn't always expect and sometimes have messages about things that I have done that I don't remember (good things!) but that they do - you never know what other people are noticing. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has just been one big 'seeding' operation and now the 'crop' is being returned. It can be pretty encouraging.

"Don't worry over anything whatever (!); tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God, which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7

May God's peace be with you today.