Well, I got the results yesterday from the CT scan Feb. 12 and it wasn't good news - it shows 'a progression of the disease' . My oncologist intends to change me over to a different type of chemo when I see her again March 8 or 9. It was a shock to hear that, since I have felt so well - apart from the terrible chest cold that David and I have both been fighting since Valentine's. (I am on an antibiotic, too, because I also had chemo Feb. 16).
David and I have decided that I will try to get a screening appointment in Dallas to see if I can be admitted to the Phase 2 trial there that we were able to investigate in December. I don't know what will come of it but I think it is an opportunity that came to me, unlooked for, and that I should follow up on.
Hard to know what to do...pretty scary as well. It just does not seem possible that I could be dealing with this when my life seems so normal. You would never know to see me that I have anything like this going on inside of me. No symptoms, no pain, no shortness of breath, etc. I can do pretty well anything that I want to do - drive, get groceries, cook meals, read, knit, etc. If it wasn't for this cold, I would be 'in good health', to all appearances.
Harder today to say " Thy will be done", "It's in God's hands", "God will care for me" but these are all still true.
Thank you again for your prayers and support.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Update - February 18, 2010
Well, Tuesday brought no answers, in spite of expectations. The CT scan results were not available and although my oncologist had the images on her laptop, she didn't feel that she could interpret them accurately. So - I went ahead with the chemo treatment (#3) scheduled that day. We waited in her office for an hour while she waited for radiology to send the images but there was no 'reading' to go with them. Next scheduled visit is March 8, with chemo on March 9. If information on the CT scan comes through, she will send it to me but it looks like any decision will be made now March 8 about whether or not to continue this treatment, based on its effectiveness. This was especially disappointing,as my daughter had taken a day off work to accompany us. However, we were glad of her company, regardless.
Please pray for me that I will have courage to deal with the information that comes from the CT scan and the wisdom to make good decisions about future treatment that will be based on that. I met a charming and stylish lady in the chemo department while I was being 'dosed' who told me she had been on chemo more or less for 3 years and had not had any hair for all of that time...gives one perspective but also a vision of other possibilities, which can be unnerving.
I have to keep remembering that we are given the gift of today and that it is ours to use and enjoy. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. Today it is sunny, my head cold seems to be letting up, my children are all hanging in there with their various challenges and still have time to check up on me, my husband's eyesight is improving all the while, my sister has passed the first anniversary of her terrible fall and is renovating her kitchen - lots of things to be thankful for! It's a choice, so often and I am following a friend's advice to "Choose joy!" It's much easier to live with.
Hope your day goes well and that you find your own joy in it.
Please pray for me that I will have courage to deal with the information that comes from the CT scan and the wisdom to make good decisions about future treatment that will be based on that. I met a charming and stylish lady in the chemo department while I was being 'dosed' who told me she had been on chemo more or less for 3 years and had not had any hair for all of that time...gives one perspective but also a vision of other possibilities, which can be unnerving.
I have to keep remembering that we are given the gift of today and that it is ours to use and enjoy. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. Today it is sunny, my head cold seems to be letting up, my children are all hanging in there with their various challenges and still have time to check up on me, my husband's eyesight is improving all the while, my sister has passed the first anniversary of her terrible fall and is renovating her kitchen - lots of things to be thankful for! It's a choice, so often and I am following a friend's advice to "Choose joy!" It's much easier to live with.
Hope your day goes well and that you find your own joy in it.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Update - February 9, 2010
I'm happy to report that things are continuing to go well for both of us. David's eyesight continues to improve on a daily basis. I have returned to my linedancing class (beginner!) and have made it through both of the classes so far without having to sit and rest hardly at all - much better than I was before Christmas. I have also joined the YMCA and got through my introductory hour of practice exercises, treadmill and bike with no problem. Both of these experiences make me feel quite hopeful that the chemo is doing its job. However...you know the rest - also trying not to get too hopeful. Also doing all the normal life things - making it to church, going out for lunches and so on, knitting a blanket for my newest granddaughter, reading, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. So, as I said, things are going well.
Next event is the CT scan this Friday (Feb. 12) and then the visit with my oncologist on Tuesday, Feb. 16. After that, the path will be clearer.
Thank you all again for your ongoing prayers, support, cards and encouragement. They mean more than I can express.
Next event is the CT scan this Friday (Feb. 12) and then the visit with my oncologist on Tuesday, Feb. 16. After that, the path will be clearer.
Thank you all again for your ongoing prayers, support, cards and encouragement. They mean more than I can express.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Update February 2, 2010
I can report for both of us that things are continuing to go well. David had a check-up visit yesterday in London for his eye surgery and the doctor was pleased - as is David - with the continuing healing and improvement in his vision. Next visit is in 3 months, so all is going well. He is even starting to be able to read again with his right eye - large letters, but he can now see them and is quite encouraged. You value your eyesight but when it is threatened, you learn to value it even more.
I had my second chemo dose a week ago (Monday, Jan. 25) and, once again, it was a non-event. This is a different type of chemical than the first round a year ago and my body seems to tolerate it very well...it's like nothing has actually happened, believe it or not. I have really good anti-nausea meds, including a steroid, that I am to take for the first 3 days after I have my 'dose', morning and evening. This time around, I didn't need to take the evening ones and I felt fine. I was out for lunch, dinner and breakfast during the week, did all my usual jobs around the house and so on. I continue, thankfully, to be able to lead a normal life and wake up in the morning feeling good. I am waiting to see if/when I will lose my lovely new gray hair - not my favourite part of all of this. I have been able to purchase a gray wig (not too many of those around!) and will take it to my excellent hairdresser for her magic touch. There are two family weddings this year, August and October, and I am already calculating whether or not I will have my own hair for them !
This treatment is the one that will decide the future course of action. I will have a CT scan Feb. 12 and, on the basis of those results, we will decide whether or not to continue treatment in Windsor or contact Dallas for screening to be admitted to the clinical trial there. Treatment in Windsor would finish in mid-April; treatment in Dallas would mean going every 3 weeks for a period of time I do not know at this point. Nice to have the options; hard to know what would be the right thing to do. Fortunately, I have confidence that God will make my way plain to me and others. Sometimes it's hard to say things like that - I want to know the whole story, including the ending, right now !! (Those of you who know me well know that I often read the end of a novel to see if I like it before I read the whole thing...it's also a way for me to be able to put the book down and not read the whole thing at once!) But it gives me practice in trusting God and praying the prayer that never fails - "Thy will be done". This is an ongoing lesson for me.
I meet so many friends, neighbours and acquaintances who tell me "I pray for you every day". I thank you for that so much; it's what gives me strength to get up in the morning and live my day and not waste time agonizing over this illness. I have today, like everyone else, and I live it and enjoy it. I like to think that the people who are praying for me are one of the positive results of this disease - some are praying who haven't for a while and it's good for them to get back in the habit !! God does really work in mysterious ways.
Well, that's about all the news from here. I hope that your day goes well and that God will give you His peace and strength to deal with whatever comes your way today.
I had my second chemo dose a week ago (Monday, Jan. 25) and, once again, it was a non-event. This is a different type of chemical than the first round a year ago and my body seems to tolerate it very well...it's like nothing has actually happened, believe it or not. I have really good anti-nausea meds, including a steroid, that I am to take for the first 3 days after I have my 'dose', morning and evening. This time around, I didn't need to take the evening ones and I felt fine. I was out for lunch, dinner and breakfast during the week, did all my usual jobs around the house and so on. I continue, thankfully, to be able to lead a normal life and wake up in the morning feeling good. I am waiting to see if/when I will lose my lovely new gray hair - not my favourite part of all of this. I have been able to purchase a gray wig (not too many of those around!) and will take it to my excellent hairdresser for her magic touch. There are two family weddings this year, August and October, and I am already calculating whether or not I will have my own hair for them !
This treatment is the one that will decide the future course of action. I will have a CT scan Feb. 12 and, on the basis of those results, we will decide whether or not to continue treatment in Windsor or contact Dallas for screening to be admitted to the clinical trial there. Treatment in Windsor would finish in mid-April; treatment in Dallas would mean going every 3 weeks for a period of time I do not know at this point. Nice to have the options; hard to know what would be the right thing to do. Fortunately, I have confidence that God will make my way plain to me and others. Sometimes it's hard to say things like that - I want to know the whole story, including the ending, right now !! (Those of you who know me well know that I often read the end of a novel to see if I like it before I read the whole thing...it's also a way for me to be able to put the book down and not read the whole thing at once!) But it gives me practice in trusting God and praying the prayer that never fails - "Thy will be done". This is an ongoing lesson for me.
I meet so many friends, neighbours and acquaintances who tell me "I pray for you every day". I thank you for that so much; it's what gives me strength to get up in the morning and live my day and not waste time agonizing over this illness. I have today, like everyone else, and I live it and enjoy it. I like to think that the people who are praying for me are one of the positive results of this disease - some are praying who haven't for a while and it's good for them to get back in the habit !! God does really work in mysterious ways.
Well, that's about all the news from here. I hope that your day goes well and that God will give you His peace and strength to deal with whatever comes your way today.
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