Wedding Report June 2010

The summary statement is: We couldn't have asked for more beautiful, enjoyable wedding days than the ones we were able to enjoy in the last 10 days. They seemed as if they had always been planned to happen when and where they did!

Wedding # 1 - Pete and Jocelyn

We left for Detroit on Thursday, June 17, in order to celebrate our own 43rd anniversary that night before all the other festivites and had a lovely dinner at a restaurant just a half-block from the hotel. Friday was a quiet day - we had breakfast with Jocelyn's parents, Jack and Martha Gruber, and David finally got to meet them. Later, I was able to help Martha make up the bouquets for the wedding, out of lovely calla lilies. Martha had been extremely busy, making various things for the wedding, including four boxwood-covered pillars that supported the letters L-O-V-E, which were to be background for the wedding. There were Welcome bags containing home-made cookies as well as other goodies for each guest, ribbon streamers to wave as part of hte wedding, heart fans, etc. all in the wedding colours of white, black and apple green. Other family started to arrive during the day and by that evening we had a large dinner party going in the restaurant at the hotel - 20 adults at least and several children. It was a pleasure for us to start meeting Jocelyn's family, especially her 93-year-old grandmother, Fidelis, as bright as you could wish to be at that age.

Saturday was quite a day! The weather was perfect - sunny and hot. We started with breakfast at 8:00, then a rehearsal outside on the lawn about 9:30. Various objects were called into service to stand for the real thing, much like a pick-up hockey game and we went through our paces for later in the day. Pete and Jocelyn looked great and were so happy to finally be there and practicing for the 'main event'. After the rehearsal, there was a surprise lingerie shower for Jocelyn in her parents' suite - ended with a fabulous 'movie' set of long, black sheer wrap, bordered with black maribou feathers, black maribou-covered mules and a short black lace gown. Quite the ensemble ! I had my rest until 1:00 and then David and I went down for some lunch to keep us going - and who was on the elevator but his sister and brother and their spouses, who had just driven over from Chatham for the wedding! So - we all went for lunch and had a good visit. Shortly after 2:00 I realized that I still had to get dressed, so we dashed back to our room and got ourselves 'rigged out'. I was looking forward so much to wearing this fabulous dress that I had found and it just looked great. David wore his tux, as were all the other men in the wedding party. We made it to the lobby for 2:40 or so and were just in time to walk out to the wedding site on the lawn. It had been transformed - white folding chairs, the boxwood pillars and letters as a backdrop to the event, a white runner between the rows of chairs, flowers, etc. - looked fabulous; behind it all was the river, sparkling blue in the sunshine and all the boating activity of a summer Saturday afternoon. Steve had brought me a new oxygen converter, which meant that I didn't have to use the big, heavy tanks that I had been using when I was outside and this was a huge improvement for me. It is a small 'box' on wheels and can run on a battery for 5 - 6 hours at at time.

The wedding started on time - we were escorted in by Pete and then the bridesmaid, matron of honour, flower children (Lily's green tutu dress arrived from the seamstress in Utah at 12:20 that afternoon), ring bearer (berrier, accoding to Clay) and then the bride her self, wearing a gorgeous 'mermaid' style dress - strapless and fitted to just above her knees but then flared out into a fabulous, swishy 'tail' of several yards of fabric. Pete and groomsmen were all in black tuxes with black vests, except for Pete's which was white. Jocelyn was sporting black shoes, to keep with the colour scheme too, but we didn't see much of then because of the big skirt. Everything went well for the ceremony and it was done in a lovely and heartfelt way. It was obvious to all that the two of them meant every word they said to each other and their vows were blessed by tears.

Pictures were done on the spot - there was a large old brick building at the edge of the hotel lawn and that was the backdrop. So, people just scattered on the lawn and enjoyed the cocktail bar and hors d'oeuvres which were being passed around until they were called for their turn in the 'picture gallery'. Clay and Jackson, ring bearer and flower bearer, amused themselves in the reflections from the hotel windows, trying their hats at various angles and the rest of us amused ourselves watching them. The only really bad thing that happened at the wedding happened to the photographer, Kip - someone stole his equipment suitcase just before the ceremony started. It was sitting on the bar table and apparently someone just walked up and took off with it. He had switched cameras and was able to continue taking pictures - most of us didn't realize that it had happened until that evening. His equipment is all insured; what he wants back are the pictures in the cameras - many of which they were able to re-stage Sunday afternoon.

By 5:00 it was pretty hot outside, so we went inside to the reception and air conditioning. It continued to be a most enjoyable evening and I was pleased that I was able to stay for the whole meal as well as the speeches and some of the early dancing. I even got to dance a bit with my husband and with Pete, the groom. I am enjoying my returning health so much and one of the best reasons is that I can do some of the 'normal' things again. I was able to stay until 9;30 or so and felt very good about that. The party went much later but I didn't miss anything important.

Sunday morning saw a big family brunch at 10:30, which we all enjoyed. The two families really got along well together and that was one of the nicest parts of the whole event. It was a case of putting faces and personalities to names that had been heard and getting a sense of what the 'other family' would be like for each marrying child. We both were pleased and felt that they would be well looked after. At the end of the day, after everyone else had left, David and I had supper with Martha and Jack and Pete and Jocelyn. We went to an Italian restaurant right in the RenCen (Renaissance Center) in downtown Detroit, whcih also gave us a good view of the RiverFest going on that weekend. It was a lovely ending to a wonderful weekend.

Monday, after breakfast together with the same people, we left and came home through Windsor, where I had a chest x-ray at the hospital. We were able to visit with David's brother, sister and spouses as well as my sister for the next few days as well as Steve and Kristen and crew. David had his last Board meeting of the year on Tuesday night - a marathon which saw him returning home at midnight. I'm not sure that I ever really unpacked!

Wedding # 2 - Mike and Lian

Thursday saw the exodus begin to Kitchener-Waterloo, although I guess Amy actually left Wednesday and others didn't leave until Friday. We got up there in time to go out for dinner that night with Amy and Mike and Lian at a most interesting Brazilian Grill House restaurant. Besides a salad bar, you are offered tastes of 8 different kinds of meat, all brought to the table on a sword. Once you have tasted them all, you can choose more of the ones that you like. Nothing topped dessert though - a whole pineapple, also on a sword, roasted over the grill like the meat, seasoned with cinnamon and brown sugar. We were pleased to help finish off the one they brought to our table.

Friday was a quiet day for most of us until the rehearsal at 4:00. The ceremony and the recpetion were also going to be in the same venue for this wedding and I must say, it makes it much simpler for all concerned. The venue was another of the industrial sites being reclaimed in downtown Kitchener - The Tannery - which is what it used to be. Lots of old brick, exposed venting and pipes, but very clean and charming - a lot like the condo that Mike bought several years ago! The caterers were busy setting up the tables and chairs when we got there, so we could see how it was going to be. Guests would be seated at their tables for the reception when they arrived, there would be several rows of chairs for the family during the ceremony with an aisle in the middle leading to a clear space in front of the head table where the ceremony itself would take place. Mike and Lian were going to be married by David's brother Dan, a minister from British Columbia, who had a one-time licence to do this service in Ontario. So - rehearsal went smoothly and we retired to the rehearsal supper, being catered at Mike and Lian's condo building on the rooftop garden.

This turned into quite an event - the weather was excellent, the food was unique, and at the end of the evening, several hot-air balloons were seen, which the kids loved. For food, there was catered food from a northern Thai restaurant, sushi and sashimi from a Japanese restaurant, chicken wings, Lian's father's signature duck meat salad, special 'rosette'-style cookies, beef curry, mango salad and, of course, lots of sticky rice to fill in the gaps. We had all of our family there - aunts, uncles, siblings, spouses and children and most of Lian's famliy too, plus the wedding party of friends, so it was a large and happy group. Once again, both families enjoy being together and we had a pleasant evening.

Saturday was as busy but not as scheduled as the previous week. Lian had a hairdresser and two make-up artists at the condo and I had booked in to get my hair done, so my sister got me over there for 10:00 or so. The place looked like a flower shop - there was a florist there making 12 table centrepieces, the centrepiece for the head table, bouquets for the bridesmaids, boutonnieres for the groomsmen - I don't know how she got them all done but they looked fabulous. There was even time to get hot apple fritters from the St. Jacob's market when the trip was made to get Lian's bouquet. I knew I had to rest, so I had to leave about 12:00 to go back to the hotel.

We stopped on the way - it was now raining heavily - and bought some yogurt and other snack-type foods that I could use for a lunch as well as some nylons, because it was getting fairly cool and my dress was light. (A lovely ivory silk, with magenta, purple and greenish flowers, kind of water-coloured onto it.) I couldn't remember the last time that I bought nylons - has to have been years. But I got back in time and had a good rest and then started getting ready. We were both decked out and ready to go by 3:30 and headed over to The Tannery, just 5 -6 blocks away.

Fortunately, it had stopped raining by the time we were going there, so we got in without incident and went and sat down - turned out that the chairs were mostly for our side of the famoily because we didn't have a table - it would be brought in after the wedding. Things seemed well under control and everyone was pretty calm, even Mike. Guests were still arriving after 4:00 but eventually we got under way - probably about 4:15, which isn't too bad. We were escorted to our seats by Mike and then the rest of wedding party followed. Lian had made the dresses for the three bridesmaids and maid of honour, as well as one for the 'groomslady' with Mike. Colours were purple and ivory. Other groomsmen were in tuxes with a lovely gray tapestry vest. Clay and Warren were in tiny tuxes, too and Lily, as flower girl, had a lovely ivory floor-length lace dress, so everyone was 'lookin good'! Finally, it was time for the bride - who had made her dress too - lovely ivory silk with appliqued lace flower panels, strapless and fitted to about the knees and then flared out in the back to a big, poufy train - and dad Chat, looking so proud in his tux as well. (For those who wouldn't know, Lian's beloved mother, Khem, passed away in March 2009, afer a short and unpleasant battle with pancreatic cancer.) The wedding proceeded smoothly except for one part, which Mike will continue to hear about. He didn't wait long enough when it came time for the first vow and responded with a heart-felt "I will" when Dan said, " Mike will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife..." it made everyone laugh and set the tone for an informal, comfortable mood for the rest of the wedding.

When it came time for the recpetion, one of the highlughts was when Lian changed into her Thai wedding dress, She had bought the material in Thailand when they were there in November. It was a lovely ivory and gold silk, top and skirt and it was so nice to have this additional cultural element to the wedding. Mike changed into an ivory jacket and they looked wonderful together. We were able to get some pictures with them, which I am looking forward to seeing. Then they changed back again into their original wedding garments when it was time for the toasts and other parts of the reception. I particularly enjoyed the toasts of the groomsmen, including one from Mike's former housemate, Brian, who could not attend. It's always interesting to hear remarks about one of your children from those who have lived with them and know them well. Granted, it was his wedding and they were going to be polite, but you can still get a pretty good idea. We were able to stay for part of the social time but left between the bride's bouquet toss and the groom's garter toss - apparently a good decision, from what I heard later! Although Clay was wearing the garter as a belt when I saw him the next day, so I don't know how that all happened.

Sunday morning, we met at the hotel dining room at 11:30 for a brunch together before everyone started to leave. My sister Carol had already left, as she was driving back to Ottawa via Kingston, but we had breakfast together before she went. We sat with David's sister, brother and spouses and had a nice time just being together. We never know when we will have the chance again - British Columbia and Minnesota and not next door to Ontario. Then it was time to break it up and everyone left to check out and leave. Once again, we were staying until Monday, but everyone else was leaving at some point Sunday.

I heard that Pete and Jocelyn were going to go over to Amy's to do a laundry, so I hitched a ride with them - David was going to catch up on his sleep. I wanted to have more time with them because I never know when I will see them again, either. It turned out very well in the long run, because Steve and Kristen arrived with their crew, Pete and Jocelyn decided to stay longer and we all went out for supper together - and unexpected bonus. About 7:00 p.m., Pete and Jocelyn headed for Detroit so that they could make their 6:15 a.m. flight to St. Lucia the next day and Steve and Kristen left for Niagara Falls, to have a few tourist days before they return to Chatham later this week. Amy will join them Monday. Mike and Lian are also in the Grimsby/Vineland area for their honeymoon.

Finally, we loaded up all our stuff Monday morning - well, closer to Monday noon - drove over to Amy's for a short visit and picked up the two dogs and headed peacefully for home, happy to have been a part of two such wonderful events and full to the brim with family time and love. I was also so thankful that I was well enough to participate so much and to bring the blessing of my improving health to my children and husband and sister , who have been through so much with me this spring. God has been so good. Thank you all for all your prayers for all of us through this wonderful time.

Update - June 15, 2010

Good morning - kind of overcast here today and rain is expected for tomorrow but all indications are that Saturday will be warm and sunny for the first wedding! For the Texas crowd a day in the 80's will be a welcome cooling off from the weeks of 95's that they have been experiencing.

Chemo yesterday went very well - done by 10:30 or so. I was able to walk both into and out of the chemo lab - no wheelchair, as I had been doing when I started in May. This would be a distance of several hundred feet and I see it as another little measure of my general improvement and returning strength. I am so thankful. The actual dose of chemo is 6 ml. If it proves effective against the cancer, I may be on it for some time, but we'll see how that develops.

We also had a very encouraging talk with the supervising doctor in the chemo lab yesterday. I told him about my CT experience in Windsor and he felt the bump again - told me it didn't feel like cancer to him, just a 'bone growth' - osteo.....something. He also told us that if the cancer seems to be 'retreating', as mine seems to be from the radiation at least, that it will not likely spread to other sites, like brain, liver, etc. That was excellent news to us and I was especially cheered since I have found it difficult not to assume that every new twinge or pain is an indication of the cancer spreading somewhere else. There are now always two voices in my head debating whether or not it is spreading - a sore elbow could be bone cancer...or just a pinched nerve. I think it is because the original cancer kind of sneaks up on you that you are never sure that it's not going to jump on you again somewhere else. You tell yourself not to be so negative but the other little voice says. "Yes, but...". Anyhow - this will help with all of that mental wondering and I was very glad to hear it.

Today is the last quiet day before the wedding schedule takes over - manicures, laundry, hair appointments, packing (trying not to take my entire wardrobe), ordering enough oxygen tanks, etc. It's going to be a lot of fun ! I am feeling really well and am so thankful that I will be able to participate in these celebrations with enthusiasm.

May God be with you today in whatever you are doing. Thank you again for your prayers and loving concern. I am happy to tell you that I am feeling so much better.

Update - June 12, 2010

It's a lovely, quiet Saturday morning here - I'm the only one up and the house is peaceful. I'm thinking about putting on the air conditioning before things heat up, since today is forecast to be the hottest and most humid one we've had so far this year. I have found that humidity can really affect my breathing ability.

Well, chemo went well this past Monday - nothing much to it. We had had a quiet weekend with my sister coming for a visit from Ottawa and I was ready to return to the chemo routine. I almost forget about it - have to remind myself the night before. We were a little longer this time - 8:45 - 10:30 or so - not bad at all. The chemo medication comes in a little syringe - about 2 tablespoons of fluid - and it is injected into the IV line that is already attached to my port. I continue to pray that the cancer will respond to it and that it will have the desired effects of slowing and/or stopping the growth of this cancer.

Tuesday, we went to Windsor for the 'ultrasound-guided needle biopsy' of the bump on my head. This did not go as expected. The ultrasound did not show as clear a picture as the radiologist M.D. wanted before doing the needle biopsy, so a CT scan of my head was arranged. Of course, this involved another hour or two of waiting, but at least it was in familiar surroundings. After the CT scan had been read, the radiologist came and told me that the biopsy was not necessary any more - "we can see well enough what's going on in there with the CT scan". This was delivered in the hall of the hospital as well as a message that my oncologist would clarify it with me. So - we were all upset - what could it mean? Spent a few hours in mental turmoil. But we went out for lunch, and while in the restaurant I was reminded by that quiet inner voice of the verse which says "God has not given us a spirit of fear..." and I was able to return to a place of mental peace. We have not heard anything further and I am operating on the philosophy that 'no news is good news' The longer it takes to hear something, the less serious it will be. So we are just going on with our lives and getting ready for these weddings! The first one is a week from today. Later today I go to get my dresses and things will seem even more real and exciting, once they are hanging in the closet.

My breathing continues to improve - I have spent several nights sleeping without my oxygen and can be without it for several hours at a time during the day if I am not too active - like typing out my blog! I have had it off for over an hour this morning as I have been doing this and it feels very good not to have the cannula on my face all the time. I still have a lot of coughing at times but we had recorded to conversation with the radiologist when we talked about doing the radiation and he mentioned that my esophagus would be inflamed from the radiation and I would have a lot of coughing and difficulty swallowing as a result. I had forgotten that part in the excitement of having my breathing improve so much.

Well, I think that's it for today - hope your day goes well and that you are aware of God's presence and blessing with you as you go about your lives.

Update - June 3, 2010

Good morning - I thought I'd better remind everyone that this is my week off from chemo; nothing happening with that now until next Monday. It's two weekly treatments and then a week off; that's considered one cycle. I will have at least 6 cycles, if it works. Next Tuesday, I have an appointment for an ultrasound-guided needle biopsy of the lump on my head. I am quite anxious about that but there's nothing to be done except wait. I've found that since I started this journey, every physical twinge sends me thinking about the cancer spreading - is it or not? Sometimes you just have to turn your mind away from that and choose not to think about it. That may be a kind of 'ostrich' manouevre but it saves on emotional wear and tear and useless output of energy.

I continue to feel better and to be able to do more. Last Saturday, another group of 'garden elves' came to work on my big flower bed in the middle of the front lawn. My oxygen hose wasn't long enough to get out there, so after fussing on the front porch for a while, I just took it off, hauled a picnic cooler out for a place to sit, and visited with them as they worked. I was able to go without oxygen for almost two hours, which felt good. Several days later, in the evening, I was able to get the garden hose out, water the flowers in the front bed and put it back. I got tangled up with my oxygen hose once or twice, but David didn't laugh at me and let me sort it out for myself. It feels so good to be able to do some of these things again. Made a fruit salad for dessert Monday night when we had company, got supper ready to cook last night - still in the game.

My sister is driving here from Ottawa today and we will have a couple of days together; she'll be back again for the weddings in a couple of weeks.

So - that's about all the news for now - I'll bring you up to date again next week after I've had the biopsy and stuff.

God bless -