Update - April 29, 2010

Things are moving fairly quickly, so I am just going to lay it out, day by day.

Monday, we were able to have a conference call with the medical team in Dallas, to go over their decision with me. As part of that discussion, I was e-mailed my last CT scan results and the answer is plain; the main tumour on my right lung grew from 4 cm to 6 cm in the 6 weeks that I was on the experimental drug. It is now growing around my trachea, and pulmonary arteries and veins - not a good situation. The Dallas team recommended several possible chemo options and the option of radiation - within 10 days to 2 weeks and sooner if possible. We made notes to take with us to Windsor Tuesday.

Tuesday - I had an appointment with my oncologist;only David and Amy and I were going. We took a copy of our notes from Monday's conversation but it turned out that several of the drugs they mentioned (Abraxane, Gemcitibine) were not covered in Ontario; the Alimta she did not feel would be effective for me. Instead, she recommended Navelbine and had made arrangements for me to have two treatments, Thursday April 29 and Thursday May 6, with a follow-up app't. and chest x-ray May 18th. I asked her for her opinion on whether or not I would be able to attend two family weddings this year - one in Seattle in August (have a contingency plan) and one here in Ontario in October (she just put her hand on my knee and shook her head; it was clear that it wasn't just the wedding I wasn't going to make it to - pretty big shock for all concerned right there!). She feels that the cancer is becoming chemo-refractive - doesn't respond to chemo and, based on the speed with which the tumour is growing, that was a reasonable timeline. We went sadly off to do the End of Treatment things that Dallas required - blood labs, EKG and chest x-ray. When we got home, there was a phone call telling me to be in Windsor Wed. at 11:00 for my radiation consultation.

Wednesday - back to Windsor again to see a radiation oncologist. We had just started the conversation when I mentioned that I had had a chest x-ray done the day before; this was news to him and he left to look at it. When he returned, he had looked at my CT scan as well (Apr. 21). The conclusion of the discussion was that I would have 5 radiation treatments. He took my dates for my chemo in the discussion. He seemed quite positive and felt that the radiation had a good chance (50%) of stabilizing or possibly even shrinking the tumour so that I could breathe more easily. After we left him, we went up to talk to my oncologist's receptionist because I had 2 appointments booked with her - May 10 and May 18 - and wondered if I needed to keep both. In the time that it took us to go up the elevator, the radiation doctor had called her to say that he felt the radiation should take precedence over the chemo and she had agreed. So as of today, I will have 5 radiation treatments May 3 - 7, and then see my oncologist May 10, as well as have another chest x-ray that day. The radiation doctor mentioned that the radiation could inflame my esophagus and I might have problems swallowing for a short time - not a lot of fun.

So it has been quite a week so far and there are plenty of emotions and tears swirling around the house. We had another of those family conference phone calls Tuesday night to bring everyone out of town up to date, especially about my likely not being at either wedding - more tears. So hard not to second-guess yourself - what if I had done x ? What if I hadn't done x ? Why me? Why now ? What good will come out of this ? Harder and harder to be calm and trust in the goodness of God and say "Thy will be done." Mostly, I am just saying, "NO! NO!NO!NO!"

Please pray for all of us - it's a tough week here.