Good morning -
We received word yesterday afternoon, based on the CT scan I had last Wed., that the trial drug is having no appreciable effect on my cancer and the recommendation was that I not come to Dallas this coming week or proceed with that treatment path. Instead, I will be seeing my oncologist in Windsor for the next steps. I was more relieved than anything else because I was very concerned about this upcoming trip and how I was going to be able to get through it. I have lain awake at night trying to figure out how many of these treatments I could manage - 2 more? 4 more? It has been difficult and I am not really sorry that it is done. I thought it might be some miraculous controller against this thing, but apparently not. So now I will go on a 'standard of care' drug for while, I think. I am still on waiting lists in Dallas for upcoming trials but I need something else fairly quickly - it's been 5 months without anything being effective.
While it was not welcome news, I find that I am OK with it and am looking forward to talking with my oncologist on Tuesday. Amy is here and has cancelled her trip to Dallas to be with us this week. She will be with us on Tuesday and Steve may come up as well. Mike and Lian plan to be here next week and if Pete wasn't on his way home from Brazil next Tuesday, he'd probably show up too. I tell you, it makes for a full examination room when we see the doctor ! If you live in Blackberryland, you can record conversations (with permission) on your phone and then send them to other family members who couldn't be there. I imagine that will be happening Tuesday as well.
So - I'll be here next week after all. May God be with you today.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Update - April 19, 2010
Some interesting developments since I last wrote !
David thought that I might benefit from oxygen assistance and made arrangements for a respiratory company to come and give me an assessment last Thursday, with the result that I am now attached by a 50' hose to something called a 'portable oxygen concentrator'. It was making a tremendous improvement within 24 hours - I could eat more, breathe better, had better colour, and felt more 'normal'. This is not compressed oxygen, although I have a tank for that, too - only lasts 3 hours - but a compressor which condenses the oxygen in the house air and adds it to what I am already breathing at the rate of 2L per minute. Amazing again how much difference it has made! I am very appreciative and thankful that David not only thought of it but went ahead and did it. I was kind of getting to where I thought it might be a good idea but would have had a hard time making the phone call - more 'invalid' stuff. So you can picture me now with one of those little clear hose things hooked over my ears and two little prongs in my nose - and a big smile, because I feel so much better with it!
Double-edged, though - can't take this equipment through an airport or on a plane, so will now have to find some source in Dallas to rent it, because I can't manage a week without it. We'll be on the way there again a week from today and I'm wondering how I'll make it through the plane trip...just not talk for 5 hours, I guess...I didn't realize how gaspy I had gotten until I got on the O2. It's very obvious when I have to be off it. So - something good to report !
I was able, with the help of Mike and Lian (youngest son and fiancée), to attend a memorial service in London on Saturday for a dear professor of many years ago. There were many friends there that I hadn't seen for some time and they were a real blessing to me and an encouragement, even though I couldn't stay to visit for long afterwards - had to get to the car for my O2.
I am encouraged daily. We went for supper last Thursday to Swiss Chalet and ran into friends who used to live here but who moved away years ago. They were in town just for the day to visit some other people that they knew. The wife of the couple has been a spiritual mentor to me for about 40 years, so it was a very special 'accident'. We had a great time but the best part was that she asked if she could anoint me with oil before we separated, as a sign that we were mutually turning this health issue over to God. I was happy to agree - and even more so when I found that her oil was actually spikenard from Israel. God continues to bring experiences and people to me that remind me that He is involved in this and not to be afraid.
Thank you again for your prayers - there are so many of you who are so kind to remember me and I appreciate it so much.
David thought that I might benefit from oxygen assistance and made arrangements for a respiratory company to come and give me an assessment last Thursday, with the result that I am now attached by a 50' hose to something called a 'portable oxygen concentrator'. It was making a tremendous improvement within 24 hours - I could eat more, breathe better, had better colour, and felt more 'normal'. This is not compressed oxygen, although I have a tank for that, too - only lasts 3 hours - but a compressor which condenses the oxygen in the house air and adds it to what I am already breathing at the rate of 2L per minute. Amazing again how much difference it has made! I am very appreciative and thankful that David not only thought of it but went ahead and did it. I was kind of getting to where I thought it might be a good idea but would have had a hard time making the phone call - more 'invalid' stuff. So you can picture me now with one of those little clear hose things hooked over my ears and two little prongs in my nose - and a big smile, because I feel so much better with it!
Double-edged, though - can't take this equipment through an airport or on a plane, so will now have to find some source in Dallas to rent it, because I can't manage a week without it. We'll be on the way there again a week from today and I'm wondering how I'll make it through the plane trip...just not talk for 5 hours, I guess...I didn't realize how gaspy I had gotten until I got on the O2. It's very obvious when I have to be off it. So - something good to report !
I was able, with the help of Mike and Lian (youngest son and fiancée), to attend a memorial service in London on Saturday for a dear professor of many years ago. There were many friends there that I hadn't seen for some time and they were a real blessing to me and an encouragement, even though I couldn't stay to visit for long afterwards - had to get to the car for my O2.
I am encouraged daily. We went for supper last Thursday to Swiss Chalet and ran into friends who used to live here but who moved away years ago. They were in town just for the day to visit some other people that they knew. The wife of the couple has been a spiritual mentor to me for about 40 years, so it was a very special 'accident'. We had a great time but the best part was that she asked if she could anoint me with oil before we separated, as a sign that we were mutually turning this health issue over to God. I was happy to agree - and even more so when I found that her oil was actually spikenard from Israel. God continues to bring experiences and people to me that remind me that He is involved in this and not to be afraid.
Thank you again for your prayers - there are so many of you who are so kind to remember me and I appreciate it so much.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Update - April 14, 2010
Well, things didn't quite work out as expected in Dallas.
We did go out for supper together Tuesday evening, but I have been finding that my appetite really drops off in the evening and I wasn't able to eat much of my supper. (I have lost approximately 30 pounds since Feb. 2009.) Apart from that, we had a good time. There's also the issue of what to order, because in Texas things are spiced up more than they are here and a lot of it is too spicy for me now.
I got the second treatment of the drug on Wednesday and they tried some different anti-nausea meds, so there was a bit if a change. I was sick more and had more diarrhea but it wasn't as violent as the first round. Back to the hotel and a quiet night ! It was also decided that I needed the shot I was getting the first time I had chemo, to bring my white blood cell count back up. Tests had shown that it had dropped to 500 instead of a normal 1500 with the first treatment of the Dallas medicine. That meant I had to get back to Chatham Friday - and that I also needed a chest x-ray - so plans were made Wed. evening to fly back Thursday instead of Friday. However, it became clear on Thursday that I wasn't going anywhere except back to bed, so we returned to the original Friday schedule. Back in Chatham, David was making arrangements to drive to Windsor on Friday, pick up the Neulasta and have it here at the house when I did get home Friday evening. An RN in the family was kind enough to come over Friday night and 'shoot' me, so I did get the med. Friday after all. (Chest x-ray had to wait until today, when I also had to get bloodwork done in Windsor.) The family is rallying around us, too - Mike's fiancée, Lian, came to spend the week in Chatham with David while we were away and Amy, Steve, Kristen (and kids) and my sister Carol were all with me in Dallas.
I was hoping that the Neulasta would work its magic pretty quickly but I have been down again all of this week I just have very little energy, (the reason I have not done this blog until now) have trouble breathing and can only sleep on one side - although I seem to manage OK most nights. There's a reduction in the usual household chores that I can do, too - we are all seeing quite an effect from this chemo - more than we have seen with any other. I can only hope that it means that it is also having a similar effect on the cancer and wiping it out, too.
So that's where I am now - thank you so much for your prayers. Almost every day I met someone who says, "I pray for you every day" It's both humbling and encouraging - when I get down, it's a comforting thing to remember. A friend at church gave me a little devotional book written by a minister who contracted ALS, or Lou Gehring's disease. I have been finding it very helpful, as it addresses issues that I also deal with. The thought this morning was "You have to surrender yourself and your future to God." The idea is that you can't influence much of what is or is not going to happen to you and to spend time worrying about it and fearing it is a waste. He will provide as necessary - but often at the last minute ! Anyhow - I'm working on that - has to happen several times a day, sometimes, but it does bring a certain peace.
I hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring, as it unfolds so wondefully around us. It speaks to me of God's reliability and His love of beautiful things - and of extravagance !
We did go out for supper together Tuesday evening, but I have been finding that my appetite really drops off in the evening and I wasn't able to eat much of my supper. (I have lost approximately 30 pounds since Feb. 2009.) Apart from that, we had a good time. There's also the issue of what to order, because in Texas things are spiced up more than they are here and a lot of it is too spicy for me now.
I got the second treatment of the drug on Wednesday and they tried some different anti-nausea meds, so there was a bit if a change. I was sick more and had more diarrhea but it wasn't as violent as the first round. Back to the hotel and a quiet night ! It was also decided that I needed the shot I was getting the first time I had chemo, to bring my white blood cell count back up. Tests had shown that it had dropped to 500 instead of a normal 1500 with the first treatment of the Dallas medicine. That meant I had to get back to Chatham Friday - and that I also needed a chest x-ray - so plans were made Wed. evening to fly back Thursday instead of Friday. However, it became clear on Thursday that I wasn't going anywhere except back to bed, so we returned to the original Friday schedule. Back in Chatham, David was making arrangements to drive to Windsor on Friday, pick up the Neulasta and have it here at the house when I did get home Friday evening. An RN in the family was kind enough to come over Friday night and 'shoot' me, so I did get the med. Friday after all. (Chest x-ray had to wait until today, when I also had to get bloodwork done in Windsor.) The family is rallying around us, too - Mike's fiancée, Lian, came to spend the week in Chatham with David while we were away and Amy, Steve, Kristen (and kids) and my sister Carol were all with me in Dallas.
I was hoping that the Neulasta would work its magic pretty quickly but I have been down again all of this week I just have very little energy, (the reason I have not done this blog until now) have trouble breathing and can only sleep on one side - although I seem to manage OK most nights. There's a reduction in the usual household chores that I can do, too - we are all seeing quite an effect from this chemo - more than we have seen with any other. I can only hope that it means that it is also having a similar effect on the cancer and wiping it out, too.
So that's where I am now - thank you so much for your prayers. Almost every day I met someone who says, "I pray for you every day" It's both humbling and encouraging - when I get down, it's a comforting thing to remember. A friend at church gave me a little devotional book written by a minister who contracted ALS, or Lou Gehring's disease. I have been finding it very helpful, as it addresses issues that I also deal with. The thought this morning was "You have to surrender yourself and your future to God." The idea is that you can't influence much of what is or is not going to happen to you and to spend time worrying about it and fearing it is a waste. He will provide as necessary - but often at the last minute ! Anyhow - I'm working on that - has to happen several times a day, sometimes, but it does bring a certain peace.
I hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring, as it unfolds so wondefully around us. It speaks to me of God's reliability and His love of beautiful things - and of extravagance !
Monday, April 5, 2010
Update - April 5, 2010
Not too much to tell but I thought I'd just bring everyone up to the present. This week is scheduled to be my second treatment in Dallas and my sister and I fly down there tomorrow. I should have the treatment on Wednesday if my bloodwork report is good. I'm a little anxious about it this time because I had such a strong reaction the last time...but they were going to try some other nausea meds, so we'll see how it goes. At least I know to give myself a recovery day before the return flight! Steve and Kristen are bringing the kids up again, so there is more 'grandma time' and Amy is already there on business, so we should all have supper Tuesday night, before the fun starts.
We had a lovely Easter weekend with my sister and two of our four, plus fiancée. I was able to go to the Good Friday service at church, which was very moving. We had Easter dinner on Saturday night and the amount of effort I put into getting that ready apparently ran my system right down because I then had to spend most of Easter Sunday in bed. That is more an indication of how little energy I have these days than how much I did, because I had lots of help. I was really disappointed but I just couldn't pull it off.
I have found this chemo to be more debilitating than any of the other kinds that I have had. I go to Dallas not feeling really recovered from the first round - another reason for my anxiety. When I read the list of 'possible side effects', I see 'tiredness', 'muscle weakness', 'decreased appetite', 'low red blood cell count' - all things that could acount for this. I'll be asking about it when there. I'm also hoping that if this medicine is having this much effect on my body, then it must also be having an effect on the cancer. God continues to reassure me, through various people's comments and other ways, that He has a plan and has things under control and that I am not to worry. Some days take more practice at that than others !
That's about all there is to say, except to thank you all once again for your prayers, cards, and concern. Your kindness is so much appreciated.
We had a lovely Easter weekend with my sister and two of our four, plus fiancée. I was able to go to the Good Friday service at church, which was very moving. We had Easter dinner on Saturday night and the amount of effort I put into getting that ready apparently ran my system right down because I then had to spend most of Easter Sunday in bed. That is more an indication of how little energy I have these days than how much I did, because I had lots of help. I was really disappointed but I just couldn't pull it off.
I have found this chemo to be more debilitating than any of the other kinds that I have had. I go to Dallas not feeling really recovered from the first round - another reason for my anxiety. When I read the list of 'possible side effects', I see 'tiredness', 'muscle weakness', 'decreased appetite', 'low red blood cell count' - all things that could acount for this. I'll be asking about it when there. I'm also hoping that if this medicine is having this much effect on my body, then it must also be having an effect on the cancer. God continues to reassure me, through various people's comments and other ways, that He has a plan and has things under control and that I am not to worry. Some days take more practice at that than others !
That's about all there is to say, except to thank you all once again for your prayers, cards, and concern. Your kindness is so much appreciated.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Update - March 30, 2010
Welcome to my life on the couch !
It's been 2 weeks now since I had my first chemo treatment with the experimental drug in Dallas and it has affected me more than any other chemo that I have had. I think I must have been getting off easy before.
It's all there in the list of possible side effects that I was given - fatigue, reduced white and red blood cell counts, loss of appetite - but I just haven't had such a long reaction before. It's usually been a week and then I was more or less back to normal. I'm still up and dressed, etc. and doing normal household activities - laundry, cooking, groceries - but I just have to rest for 30 - 45 min. between jobs and that's frustrating...leaves me with a lot of 'bedhead' ! However, it could be worse, a lot worse, and I am trying to keep perspective. I was also quite weepy there for a while but that seems to be passing, too.
David continues to be better as the result of that exercise for his inner ear balance but he does have to keep doing it on a regular basis to keep 'level-headed'!! (Couldn't resist.)
We are looking forward to family visits this Easter weekend, including my sister from Ottawa who will accompany me to Dallas the following week for Cycle 2. Amy has to go to Dallas also for a working trip, so I will have lots of company.
I am also looking forward to Easter as a reminder again of God's amazing, incomprehensible love for mankind and of His desire to bring this love to the lives of ordinary people like you and me. It is the story of Easter that gives me hope in this battle and confidence that however it turns out, it will be God's plan and that I will be OK. Like all gifts, God's love must be received and accepted to be part of your life or it just sits there on the shelf in its wrapping paper.
Thank you again for your prayers. Choose joy!!
It's been 2 weeks now since I had my first chemo treatment with the experimental drug in Dallas and it has affected me more than any other chemo that I have had. I think I must have been getting off easy before.
It's all there in the list of possible side effects that I was given - fatigue, reduced white and red blood cell counts, loss of appetite - but I just haven't had such a long reaction before. It's usually been a week and then I was more or less back to normal. I'm still up and dressed, etc. and doing normal household activities - laundry, cooking, groceries - but I just have to rest for 30 - 45 min. between jobs and that's frustrating...leaves me with a lot of 'bedhead' ! However, it could be worse, a lot worse, and I am trying to keep perspective. I was also quite weepy there for a while but that seems to be passing, too.
David continues to be better as the result of that exercise for his inner ear balance but he does have to keep doing it on a regular basis to keep 'level-headed'!! (Couldn't resist.)
We are looking forward to family visits this Easter weekend, including my sister from Ottawa who will accompany me to Dallas the following week for Cycle 2. Amy has to go to Dallas also for a working trip, so I will have lots of company.
I am also looking forward to Easter as a reminder again of God's amazing, incomprehensible love for mankind and of His desire to bring this love to the lives of ordinary people like you and me. It is the story of Easter that gives me hope in this battle and confidence that however it turns out, it will be God's plan and that I will be OK. Like all gifts, God's love must be received and accepted to be part of your life or it just sits there on the shelf in its wrapping paper.
Thank you again for your prayers. Choose joy!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Update - March 22, 2010
Well, at the risk of being repetitious - there's still a lot going on ! March is passing in a blur.
First of all, David found out on March 12, that there's nothing wrong with his heart or blood pressure - the dizziness and falling are the result of problems with his inner ear. It's a type of vertigo and he returned from his doctor's appointment with a simple head-over-the-end-of-the-bed exercise that he can repeat several times a week to 're-set' his balance mechanism. He has seen a remarkable improvement even in a few days and feels much more confident and sure of his mobility. We were very relieved to discover the cause and to have a simple solution for the problem ! He has more tests scheduled but this was a big result. While all this was happening, I was cooling my heels in Windsor, going through the process of another CT scan.
On Monday, March 15, our youngest son arrived from Kitchener to accompany us and be our assist with luggage, etc. and we all flew to Dallas that evening. Tuesday was not Day 1 of treatment, as originally planned; instead, I had some of the screening bloodwork repeated and a couple of conversations with various people who are running the cancer centre. Mike was able to record these so that other family members could hear the discussions. I did find out that day that I was randomized into the experimental drug group - another answer to prayer !! In a way, I was not surprised - just felt that things were continuing to work out 'as planned'.
Wednesday was 'Day 1' and what a day it turned out to be. We were at the hospital for 9:00 - started getting anti-nausea meds by 9:27 and the IV treatment of the drug started about 10:27 for 2 hours. No problem there - just sit in a nice recliner and read a magazine or something while it drips into you. First blood samples were taken about 1:15 or so and I was told that I had about 2 hrs. to wait until the next one. I could go down to the atrium and get something to eat or whatever as long as I didn't leave the building. Well, I made it to the waiting room and realized that I wasn't leaving the office! I returned to a treatment room with a bed and checked out until about 2:15, when the reactions started, as I had been warned...diarrhea for half an hour or so took care of half my digestive system. I rested until it was time for the next blood draw and returned to the chemo room - was part way through the blood draw when the nausea arrived - took care of the other part of my digestive system! I had been given anti-nausea meds at 9:27; thinking that these had worn off, they gave me more and of a different kind. This stuff just T-boned me - couldn't talk right, couldn't walk without help - doped to the gills! But I didn't throw up much afterwards! Anyhow - left the hospital about 5:30 in a wheelchair with a bucket in my lap...returned to the hotel and slept it off until about 9:00, when I awoke starving and managed some toast. Steve was there too and brought me back to the hotel in his car, which was a lot better than a cab. We realized late that evening that I wasn't in any shape to be flying the next day, so David, Steve and Mike re-arranged things to leave Friday instead. That will have to be the plan from now on, I think.
Thursday was better; we were back to the hospital for another blood draw by 7:30 and then had time for a family breakfast at the hotel after we got back. Kristen and the grandkids had made the trip to Dallas too, so we had a nice time together. I found that my taste was off again - one of the side effects of chemo - but I could eat OK. The highlight of the day was dinner that night at a BenneHanna restaurant (Japanese teppanyaki, where they cook at the table). We all enjoyed it, and Clay found it especially entertaining. I had a pretty good day - just had to rest in the afternoon - but no other side effects...just recovering.
Friday we were able to have one last family breakfast together before we all split up - the Austin tribe to make the return trip and the Ontario tribe to the airport. We had a later flight - left Dallas at 4:00 CT and arrived back in Detroit just after 10:00 p.m. We were in Chatham by 12:15 and Mike left to drive back to KW by 12:30 ! The night was clear and the road was almost empty, so it was a good time for him to go.
Overall, it was a good experience. I have been quite tired since returning but then I haven't had the usual 3 days post-treatment of 'happy pills' - steroids and my big anti-nausea med. So - a little more realistic, perhaps, and I have had to listen to my body more and not push it, which is probably good. However, I do feel a bit more 'settled' today and am hoping that I am over the worst of it. Time will tell ! The staff in Dallas were already talking about trying different anti-nausea meds for me next time, so we'll see what difference that might make. They are great people, very kind and sympathetic, as most people seem to be who have chosen this line of work.
I return to Dallas the week after Easter for a second treatment and then will have another CT scan April 21 to see if the drug is having any effect. If it is, then I return to Dallas for Cycle 3 the last week of April. That will be the pattern - two treatments and then a CT scan. If the results are good, then we continue. If the cancer shows growth of 20% or more, the treatments are discontinued and another plan will be drawn up. So please pray that there will be reason to continue !
I do feel that this is God's plan for me - even though I wasn't too sure there for a while about all the traveling - but it just seems so unusual that I would even have this opportunity that I don't know how else it would come about. I am so thankful that I can try this, thankful for the time to see the Austin tribe, thankful for the time with other family members - there's a lot of good coming out of this, even though it is scary. Friends feel that they would like to pray for me and they do - in coffee shops, in halls in the church, in wherever we happen to be - I am in awe of their caring and support. When I get rattled, I think back to some of these experiences and am comforted and calmed. So many of you are praying for me and for our family and I thank you so much. I have a little 'mental collection' of faces, comments, etc. that I draw on when the black thoughts swirl around in my head and they help me turn away from all of that and choose to trust, choose not to panic, choose to 'rest in the Lord'. Thank you again.
Isn't it great to see the robins back and wake up to birdsong in the mornings ? Spring is going to make it ! Choose joy !
First of all, David found out on March 12, that there's nothing wrong with his heart or blood pressure - the dizziness and falling are the result of problems with his inner ear. It's a type of vertigo and he returned from his doctor's appointment with a simple head-over-the-end-of-the-bed exercise that he can repeat several times a week to 're-set' his balance mechanism. He has seen a remarkable improvement even in a few days and feels much more confident and sure of his mobility. We were very relieved to discover the cause and to have a simple solution for the problem ! He has more tests scheduled but this was a big result. While all this was happening, I was cooling my heels in Windsor, going through the process of another CT scan.
On Monday, March 15, our youngest son arrived from Kitchener to accompany us and be our assist with luggage, etc. and we all flew to Dallas that evening. Tuesday was not Day 1 of treatment, as originally planned; instead, I had some of the screening bloodwork repeated and a couple of conversations with various people who are running the cancer centre. Mike was able to record these so that other family members could hear the discussions. I did find out that day that I was randomized into the experimental drug group - another answer to prayer !! In a way, I was not surprised - just felt that things were continuing to work out 'as planned'.
Wednesday was 'Day 1' and what a day it turned out to be. We were at the hospital for 9:00 - started getting anti-nausea meds by 9:27 and the IV treatment of the drug started about 10:27 for 2 hours. No problem there - just sit in a nice recliner and read a magazine or something while it drips into you. First blood samples were taken about 1:15 or so and I was told that I had about 2 hrs. to wait until the next one. I could go down to the atrium and get something to eat or whatever as long as I didn't leave the building. Well, I made it to the waiting room and realized that I wasn't leaving the office! I returned to a treatment room with a bed and checked out until about 2:15, when the reactions started, as I had been warned...diarrhea for half an hour or so took care of half my digestive system. I rested until it was time for the next blood draw and returned to the chemo room - was part way through the blood draw when the nausea arrived - took care of the other part of my digestive system! I had been given anti-nausea meds at 9:27; thinking that these had worn off, they gave me more and of a different kind. This stuff just T-boned me - couldn't talk right, couldn't walk without help - doped to the gills! But I didn't throw up much afterwards! Anyhow - left the hospital about 5:30 in a wheelchair with a bucket in my lap...returned to the hotel and slept it off until about 9:00, when I awoke starving and managed some toast. Steve was there too and brought me back to the hotel in his car, which was a lot better than a cab. We realized late that evening that I wasn't in any shape to be flying the next day, so David, Steve and Mike re-arranged things to leave Friday instead. That will have to be the plan from now on, I think.
Thursday was better; we were back to the hospital for another blood draw by 7:30 and then had time for a family breakfast at the hotel after we got back. Kristen and the grandkids had made the trip to Dallas too, so we had a nice time together. I found that my taste was off again - one of the side effects of chemo - but I could eat OK. The highlight of the day was dinner that night at a BenneHanna restaurant (Japanese teppanyaki, where they cook at the table). We all enjoyed it, and Clay found it especially entertaining. I had a pretty good day - just had to rest in the afternoon - but no other side effects...just recovering.
Friday we were able to have one last family breakfast together before we all split up - the Austin tribe to make the return trip and the Ontario tribe to the airport. We had a later flight - left Dallas at 4:00 CT and arrived back in Detroit just after 10:00 p.m. We were in Chatham by 12:15 and Mike left to drive back to KW by 12:30 ! The night was clear and the road was almost empty, so it was a good time for him to go.
Overall, it was a good experience. I have been quite tired since returning but then I haven't had the usual 3 days post-treatment of 'happy pills' - steroids and my big anti-nausea med. So - a little more realistic, perhaps, and I have had to listen to my body more and not push it, which is probably good. However, I do feel a bit more 'settled' today and am hoping that I am over the worst of it. Time will tell ! The staff in Dallas were already talking about trying different anti-nausea meds for me next time, so we'll see what difference that might make. They are great people, very kind and sympathetic, as most people seem to be who have chosen this line of work.
I return to Dallas the week after Easter for a second treatment and then will have another CT scan April 21 to see if the drug is having any effect. If it is, then I return to Dallas for Cycle 3 the last week of April. That will be the pattern - two treatments and then a CT scan. If the results are good, then we continue. If the cancer shows growth of 20% or more, the treatments are discontinued and another plan will be drawn up. So please pray that there will be reason to continue !
I do feel that this is God's plan for me - even though I wasn't too sure there for a while about all the traveling - but it just seems so unusual that I would even have this opportunity that I don't know how else it would come about. I am so thankful that I can try this, thankful for the time to see the Austin tribe, thankful for the time with other family members - there's a lot of good coming out of this, even though it is scary. Friends feel that they would like to pray for me and they do - in coffee shops, in halls in the church, in wherever we happen to be - I am in awe of their caring and support. When I get rattled, I think back to some of these experiences and am comforted and calmed. So many of you are praying for me and for our family and I thank you so much. I have a little 'mental collection' of faces, comments, etc. that I draw on when the black thoughts swirl around in my head and they help me turn away from all of that and choose to trust, choose not to panic, choose to 'rest in the Lord'. Thank you again.
Isn't it great to see the robins back and wake up to birdsong in the mornings ? Spring is going to make it ! Choose joy !
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Update - March 10, 2010
Once again, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote.
First of all, we had a wonderful weekend celebrating birthdays and just being together as a family. We were expecting three out of the four kids but were VERY pleasantly surprised when #4, "the Big Guy", stepped out of the car Saturday afternoon as well. So, we were able to celebrate 3 out of the 6 family birthdays and just really enjoyed our time together. It was a real gift to be all together again so soon after Christmas and probably won't happen again until Pete and Jocelyn's wedding in Seattle in August.
On Monday, five of us set out for my oncologist appointment in Windsor. As you know, I was praying so much for a clear direction as a result of that meeting and many of you were praying that for us as well - thank you again. That is what we got. My oncologist strongly recommended that I take the option open to me in Dallas and we could all see that it was the best choice for me at this point. We also received the radiologist report on my CT scan of Feb. 12 which shows that the cancer is progressing in spite of the carboplatinum treatments - not good news. Some of the nodules are stable, but some are growing - in millimetres, but growing. What I am looking for now and praying for is a drug that will stop the growth and possibly even shrink these nodules and tumours that are there. Hopefully, that is what I will find in Dallas. I keep reminding myself that this was an option that came to me unlooked for and I am trusting that it is God's plan for me.
David and I and our youngest son will leave for Dallas Monday, March 15. I should have the first treatment of either the experimental drug or the control drug on Tuesday, a second check-up on Wednesday and then fly back home Thursday. Once I start, I will be going there every three weeks. I still have to have this confirmed, so it is possible that there will be some changes to this schedule.
David also has some medical issues happening - he has been troubled by dizziness when he stands and begins to walk to the point where he has fallen several times. He will be having some tests done for this as well - we are both falling apart !!!
That is about all for now - will keep you updated as things develop. I am looking forward to the opportunities in Dallas and praying that there will be good results from whatever I am treated with there. Please pray that I - and the rest of the family - will be able to trust God in this and stay in the peace of that confidence instead of distressing ourselves with the 'what ifs' and bad possibilities.
First of all, we had a wonderful weekend celebrating birthdays and just being together as a family. We were expecting three out of the four kids but were VERY pleasantly surprised when #4, "the Big Guy", stepped out of the car Saturday afternoon as well. So, we were able to celebrate 3 out of the 6 family birthdays and just really enjoyed our time together. It was a real gift to be all together again so soon after Christmas and probably won't happen again until Pete and Jocelyn's wedding in Seattle in August.
On Monday, five of us set out for my oncologist appointment in Windsor. As you know, I was praying so much for a clear direction as a result of that meeting and many of you were praying that for us as well - thank you again. That is what we got. My oncologist strongly recommended that I take the option open to me in Dallas and we could all see that it was the best choice for me at this point. We also received the radiologist report on my CT scan of Feb. 12 which shows that the cancer is progressing in spite of the carboplatinum treatments - not good news. Some of the nodules are stable, but some are growing - in millimetres, but growing. What I am looking for now and praying for is a drug that will stop the growth and possibly even shrink these nodules and tumours that are there. Hopefully, that is what I will find in Dallas. I keep reminding myself that this was an option that came to me unlooked for and I am trusting that it is God's plan for me.
David and I and our youngest son will leave for Dallas Monday, March 15. I should have the first treatment of either the experimental drug or the control drug on Tuesday, a second check-up on Wednesday and then fly back home Thursday. Once I start, I will be going there every three weeks. I still have to have this confirmed, so it is possible that there will be some changes to this schedule.
David also has some medical issues happening - he has been troubled by dizziness when he stands and begins to walk to the point where he has fallen several times. He will be having some tests done for this as well - we are both falling apart !!!
That is about all for now - will keep you updated as things develop. I am looking forward to the opportunities in Dallas and praying that there will be good results from whatever I am treated with there. Please pray that I - and the rest of the family - will be able to trust God in this and stay in the peace of that confidence instead of distressing ourselves with the 'what ifs' and bad possibilities.
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